Saturday, August 29, 2009

You Can Lead A Horse To Water, But That Doesn't Make Him A Duck*

And if you leave the country on vacation and don't lock up your blog like Braja from Lost and Found in India did you might come home to find Vodka Mom and I have been there and taught your cow some new tricks. Check it out.

Ya ya ya, swimming cow, just click the damn link already.

*Sorry, I don't really have an explanation, just seemed like place for an asterisk.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Dear Random So & So Tuesday On Friday

Dear So and So...

What? There's no rules here.

Dear Sharpie, do you make metallic gold?
Unfortunately they don't. I went to their site to check and got distracted by all the Sharpie goodness.

My youngest, Liam, was lying on the floor playing Wii and sniffling yesterday. I asked him if he wants a kleenex and he says no and wipes his face on the carpet.

Speaking of Wii:

Up to four players and a demo mode where if you get stuck you can let the game play itself until you're ready to jump in again.

Dear Lego, wtf? Why don't you sell ALL of your products here? You hurt my heart.

I was in the washroom at my in-laws the other day and the TV came on super loud. My FIL usually has the tv up pretty high, but this was ridiculous since it sounded like it was in the bathroom. I go to the living room and the tv wasn't even on. It was the neighbours. The neighbours. They're not old or hearing impaired either. Why the hell would you have it up so loud?

Now that I finally have that written down I'm wondering if maybe it was meant to be that loud to cover something up. Maybe we'll skip Sunday dinner this time around.

For all of my Twilight loving readers:

I got this from my friend Jodi at Jodiferous. I call Jodi a friend even though we've never actually met, but we live in the same city. Ok, we don't actually live in the same city, but they're connected. Ok, they're not actually connected but if I drove to the opposite side of my city I could see her's across the river. Then again, if you took all the water out of the river, they're still connected, so she's my friend.

Dear Connor, remember the other night when I decided to play Grand Theft Auto because I hadn't in so long and the first car I jacked belonged to a couple of bangers and I had to bust a cap in 'em and my character made some inappropriate comments towards them in relation to their mothers and you were actually watching the whole time and I didn't know it? Let's keep that to ourselves, huh? Heh heh.

Supreme Leader overheard Connor and Liam talking about their favourite Star Wars characters. Liam chose General Grievous.

A swirling whirlwind of fury? Ya, that works.

Dear Weather Network, your 'Bug Report' section where it says mosquitoes aren't common to my city? Apparently mosquitoes don't read your website.

Ok, that's enough. Go check out Kat's blog for more So & So fun. I'd say go to Keely's too, but that ship has set sail. Still, she probably has something funny going on. Stop by and tell her that Vancouver loves her and that it's sunny and beautiful now if she wants to come back.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away....

Once upon a time there was a young (ahem) stormtrooper named Captain Dumbass who worked for an evil empire. The Captain hated his work, but it paid the bills and the benefits weren't half bad.

Type faster, damn you!

Then one day the boss of Captain Dumbass' boss, the evil Lord Palpatine came for a visit. "Vader, turns out all those mortgages we were handing out for candy and kisses are going to come back and bite us in the ass after all. I've decided to phase out your department and replace your employees with droids. This way, when the shit comes down I'll still look good for having saved the share holders a lot of money in salary and expenses."

"As you wish, my Lord. Er... sir, you appear to be a fish."
"Cut backs, Vader, get used to it. Aren't I pretty though?"
"Yes, my Lord. Um, about these droids, sir. Some of them appear to be missing parts."

"Irrelevant! They're cheap and they'll work for free."

Captain Dumbass, at first frightened by these changes, soon learned to embrace them once he discovered his many years of toiling for the Galactic Empire had provided him with a generous financial package. One that would provide him with a full year's salary, provided he did not find work within that year and incur the wrath of the tax man. Captain Dumbass decided that he had worked long and hard and deserved a well earned break.

So the Captain settled in to his new life as a Stay-At-Home-Trooper, trading in the day to day grind of Monday to Friday with the 24/7 grind of dealing with his own little Rebel Alliance (children). His years of soldiering had not prepared him for the titanic yet joyful struggle of being a stay at home parent, but eventually he got used to it. Then it was endless days of video games, playing outside and trips to the beach. His oldest son, being extremely shy and unsure about school, was able to have his dad walk him to kindergarten and pick him up everyday. Life was good.

Eventually though, the year ran its course and Captain Dumbass had to return to the Empire since his mortgage on the Death Star would not pay for itself. He suited up again (though his armour felt a little tighter than he'd remembered) and started looking for a new Star Destroyer in need of a willing stormtrooper.

Unfortunately, Captain Dumbass soon discovered that positions in the Empire weren't as easy to find as they once were.

The Captain had returned to a new and frightening world. He would not let it bring him down though. He quickly changed his armour and his attitude. He would roam the land like a lordless samurai of old, a ronin stormtrooper in search of a desperate village in need of aid. Employment was out there, he just had to hunt it down.

Too bad no one would pay him to play with Lego.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Monday's Muse

Last week, Robin over at Cinnamon & Honey started a new meme called


In her words, it's "your chance to share something that's currently meaningful to you... a song, a video, a poem, a book, a movie, a person... or anything that's gotten into your head and you can't get rid of." I had several ideas I was going to go with today, first being this:

It's a Vietnamese sandwich called bánh mi and it's freakin delicious. How is it inspiring? I'm inspired to have another, duh?

But. Then I ran across this picture from a story run on last Febuary about construction workers at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

And then I watched this video.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Random Tuesday: God Save The Queen

Hey, so I'm over in England at 3 Bedroom Bungalow doing a Random Tuesday guest post, because that's all I do now. Come over and check out my mess. And by come on over I mean you're already here so just click the damn link, this link right here, and don't be one of those people who don't read other people's guest posts because THEY SUCK and I know you, you don't suck at all.


PS. I may have screwed up posting this at the right time, but it was totally after midnight in England.

Freakin' time zones.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Saturday Stuff

On my bedside table:

3 Moleskines
3 Sharpie pens (blue, black & red)
1 regular Sharpie - (metallic silver) (you NEED a metallic silver Sharpie)
1 heavy Faber-Castell pen
2 cheap ball points
1 pencil
1 container of orange scented hand cream (what? it smells nice)
3 books - Before They Are Hanged by Joe Abercrombie, Juno by Ted Barris and John Adams by David McCullough
1 Vtech cordless phone
1 crochet needle (huh?)
1 Nikon Zi6 (thanks Amy!)
1 Lego pistol
Benjamin Moore paint chips

A Saturday post, I know. Anyway, if you're here you get to check out this cool picture.

It's a city made of staples. Cool, huh?

Friday, August 14, 2009

Dear So& So: This Weekend...

Dear You,

Ya, you. This weekend...

You deserve it. Head over to Kat's and join the fun.

Dear So and So...


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Random Tuesday: Ziggin' and Zaggin'


Aaaaand..... I'm not here. Another day another guest post. Today I'm randomizing over at the Wicked Step Mom's, so come on over and we'll rifle through her cupboards. I know, I know, I wouldn't want me writing on my blog either, but she asked.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Naked Anniversary

I'm guesting over at the Un-Mom's today, and before any of you non-guest post reading... um... non-readers run away, there's nudity!

That's right, not only me but Supreme Leader too! Happy Anniversary, hon!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Dear So & So: Knowing Me, Knowing You

Dear So and So...

Dear Me,

Uh, this is only your second post this week. What gives?

Me: Uh, like, this is my blog and I'll post when I want. Why didn't you post?

Dear Me: Well, I did write two guest posts this week.

Me: Ya, did that all by yourself, did you?

Dear Me: Whatever. How's that Wii game you rented that you've been playing non-stop?

Me: Bite it. And speaking of guest blogs, you've only done one of them.

Dear Me: I know what I'm going to do for it now. I just have to type it up.

Me: Uh huh. In between playing that game, finishing this post and trying to watch a movie tonight?

Dear Me: Blow me! It's not going to take that long and besides, I don't need to send it to her until tomorrow.

Me: *laughing* Oh ya, heard that before.

Dear Me: What?

Me: Just means you'll be up past midnight trying to pull something together and then you'll go to bed and be pissed that you didn't get any writing done and that you're too tired to read.

Dear Me: *finger*

Me: Ya ya, that's it. Just walk away, princess! You're such a baby sometimes!

Dear Me: *muffled shout*

Me: Sorry, can't hear you, little girl! What a pansy-ass. I'm outta here.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Random Tuesday: Awards, Awards & Awards

Monday! What a great day Monday is. I know, I know, it's Tuesday. Bear with me.


First off, I found out I won a Kodak Zi6 video camera, a tote bag, some vanilla warming oil and a French whore purse from Amy.

Then I found out that I won some KY Intense arousal gel for her from Kim. Ok, maybe I'll share that one.

Then Supreme Leader, with Liam's help, made macarons.

To go along with the devil's food cake

and the caramel ice cream she made yesterday.

Sure, she's trying to kill me by taking advantage of my non-existent will power, but it will be a tasty tasty death. Ok, there's no randomness to this random post. Go to the Un-Mom's, maybe you'll have better luck there. Not video camera, whore purse and personal lubricant lucky, but lucky.

*PS, thanks to everybody who went over to my nephew's blog and congratulated him on his fish. Last time I looked he was at 82 comments.