Thursday, March 31, 2011

Random Thursday

Day four and we're still plugging away. Now, when I mentioned a week long celebration or dirge for the Un-Mom's Random Tuesday I meant a business week, ok? I won't be doing this over the weekend.


Just as I sat down to start writing tonight about how I spelled Cleveland wrong and nobody mentioned it, neither my more sarcastic, but dearly loved followers or Mama Badger or Literal Mom who are actually from Ohio, Supreme Leader walks over and writes "fair well" and "farewell" in front of me and asks which one is correct. She's not polite like you.

Impressionist Vader

This is a cute video, and all the more so because it's a true story.

If you're interested, you can see the new soccer pitch on Google maps here.

Poor little Liam, he's been sick off and on since... since I can't even remember. He's a magnet for viruses and bacteria, and lucky him, just about everything has started blooming around here just in time to kick his allergies in the ass. I took this picture a week or so back when he was so tired of wiping his nose he decided to just lay the tissue on the floor and lay his face on it.

And now that you're feeling all sorry for him, let me tell you about how he used his penis for a little ventriloquist act in the bath tub tonight... or not.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Random Wednesday

First off, before I say anything else... CLEAVLAND ROCKS! I'd have pictures but it was too dark by the time I got home and my camera takes horrid flash shots. And that's pictures with a flash, not pictures of flashers. Never mind, you still don't know what I'm talking about. 


Day Three of my random tribute to Keely... I had more on that but our TV is currently on Dancing With the Stars because Supreme Leader is watching it even though she's not in the room. Or even on the same floor. Could they not use the original versions of the songs they dance to? These cover versions make me want to stab my ears.

Kinetic typography. This is from Conan's fair well, but what they've done with it is really cool.

Conan O'Brien Kinetic Typography from Jacob Gilbreath on Vimeo.

My wife crochet me a little Yoda, Boba Fett and Storm Trooper. Because she is that awesome.

We're currently in our second week of Spring Break. This is partly because our school boards couldn't manage a 7/11 let alone a school district and partly because it turns out that hosting the Olympics is really really expensive. Good thing Supreme Leader is still on mat leave. On Monday she took Connor and Liam to the Aquarium where they were treated to seeing a Beluga whale poo. It was the highlight of the trip.

Portrait of a Whale Pooing by Connor.

Portrait of a Whale Pooing by Liam.

My Mac has become the old family dog that should be put down but nobody has the heart to do it. Hold on, Buddy, for the family.

Balloon bass and a box, nowhere to go from there.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Random Tuesday... on Tuesday

Day Two!


Last weekend while we were over at the in-laws I happened to be walking past the bathroom when I heard Liam inside talking to himself. The door was wide open, because he's five, and there he stood before the bowl, pants down to his ankles and a grim look of determination on his face. He was taking individual sheets of toilet paper and carefully controlling his stream so he could laser each sheet in half one at a time. I was amused and proud all at once.

Call me old fashioned, but I miss the old days on Twitter when people were just there to amuse one another. Now a days my Twitter stream is clogged with people trying to give me advice or sell me something or trying to get me to click on some random link to something I really wasn't interested in anyway. And what's with people who follow you who haven't even tweeted anything yet? I don't look at my followed or followers as a popularity contest, I want to amuse and be amused, not agravated and annoyed. I feel a great purge coming.

Dog bunny.

Ever heard of a nonillion? That's 1000 x a billion x a billion x a billion, or the estimated number of microbial cells in the world's oceans. Collectively they weigh the equivalent of 240 billion African elephants. Courtesy of the Census of Marine Life.

And... um... ah... look, something shiny!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Random Monday


Last week, before a sombre gathering of the press, the Un-Mom announced the demise of Random Tuesday. A horrified world reeled at the news and demanded answers, but much like the press conferences held by Japanese government officials in their fancy jumpsuits, Keely's answers were misleading and questionable at best. Lacking guidance of any kind, the faithful were cast out alone into the darkness. What are we going to do on Tuesdays?

What would John Locke do? Kill something with one of his knife and then smile in his 'I-know-something-that-you-don't-know' or maybe 'I'm-just-thinking-how-funny-it-would-be-to-murder-you' kinda way, but that's just not practicle in this situation. Instead I've decided to dedicate this whole week to Random Tuesday and our benefactor, Keely for creating and hosting RTT all these... however long has she been doing this. And sure, she only said hiatus, but I'm one to blow just about anything out of proportion so why should this be any different? So here we go, day one. Random Monday.

Ever wonder what the inside of a sting ray looks like?

Liam's sitting on the potty the other night, carefully picking his nose and wiping it on a single sheet of toilet paper. Then he drops it in the toilet and says, "look daddy, it's a booger raft!"

Conversation with Finn after having to hide his smooshed up peas and squash with his smooshed up berry dessert and thereby diffusing his apoplectic fury
Me: Singin' a different tune now, aren't we?
Finn: Gurgle
Me: Fruit whore

Notice that line above his left eyebrow that kind of looks like hair but is more red in the way your skin gets when your head gets wedged in between a chest and a railing and your dad has to come and actually move the chest because when he tries to pick you up your head won't move because it is literally STUCK? Ya, that's not hair.

I should close this with some segue to tomorrow's post, but all I can think of are Pringles and the fact that that can behind Finn is gone now. *sniffle* 

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Posts Cards From The Edge: Part Two

Way back on January 20th I asked if anybody out there in blog land would like to exchange postcards because my half cube at work was a little dull looking.

I've taken about four pictures of my wall since then, but each time I did I would get home and find another one waiting for me. Out of 60-ish responses I received forty postcards, not bad.

While I love and appreciate all of them, there was one special one I received that didn't get a pin jabbed through it. And no, I'm not referring to the black and white one up on the top right from Salt Lake City, UTah, though that one is pretty awesome. Wait, what did you think that meant? Anyway, you can see it on the back drop of my screen, where all my sensitive client information would be if I hadn't remembered to hit 'desktop' before taking the picture.

Bella Sinclair of Bella Sinclair Doodlespot made me a picture of my three little Jedi's complete with a cardboard sign. Click on it for full effect. That one got it's own frame. Check out her page if you get a chance, her artwork is fantastic.

So thanks to everybody who participated, I really appreciated it.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Whales Don't Have Ears, They Know Math*

*Liam, who else?


Finn's first trip to the beach.

This was the only time he was actually let down, otherwise he would eat the sand.

This is wildly addicting. Be warned.

And this is really cool, but only if you're watching it on a decent computer. If your video usually comes out all shaky, it's not going to be as impressive.

Me: Why did you give me your cold?
Liam: I didn't give it to you, it donated itself.

And finally, a little something special for my Mom and the Un-Mom.

Kiss kiss!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Acute Viral Rhinopharyngitis*, Fun For The Whole Family

(Sorry, I know it's a little small but the right side cut off when I tried making it extra large so you'll have to click for full effect)

(And try to ignore how the background colour doesn't fill all the gaps in the letters, I don't know how to fix that)

*the common cold, though not so common when it's crushing your soul like a candy wrapper

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Ginger Beef, Gold & Teachers

Email between Supreme Leader and I the other day after we had Chinese food at work:

Me: Mmm, ginger beef...
Supreme Leader: B
Me: Does that rhyme with plastered?
SL: Stitch
Me: Nasty.
SL: Princess
Me: I'm going to blog your meanness
SL: Cut off

See what I have to put up with?

Where the hell have I been?


Hmm, what was I doing around this time last year? Oh ya, I was recovering from this

And this

Heh heh heh.

I want everything in this video.

A series of text messages between my sister and I:

Sister: Hey
Sister: How many times to I have to call You a butch (iPhone auto correct) before you answer?
Sister: Butch, ha ha ha
Sister: BITCH
Sister: Bitch
Sister: BITCH
Sister: Seriously
Sister: Some people are just so rude, some people say they will call you and don't
BTW that's 8 texts…jerk
Sister: You're dead to me.
Me (next day): Shit! Sorry. I'm a horrible brother, what can I say. Tonight?
Sister: That's funny, I didn't think the dead could talk… let alone text… DEAD TO ME

About five minutes before I found this next video I received a comment from Vodka Mom. Must mean something. So for Deb and PHST and Apathy Lounge and Unmitigated, because she used to be one, and any other teacher bloggers I might be forgetting, this is for you.