Clear & Present Danger

Juggling With Burning Toilet Paper

Liam: (sitting on potty) Daddy, what is this?

Me: It's the toilet paper holder, hon.

Liam: (points at the toilet paper on the counter)?

Me: Toilet paper.

Liam: Why is it there?

Me: Because your mommy has a bachelors and an honours degree but still can't put toilet paper on the roll.

Mommy: (faintly from the next room) What?

Later...

Bernadette: Why did Connor just ask me if I was going to be grumpy when I wake up tomorrow?            

Me: (looking for an escape route or defensive weapon) Um... well... you might have been a teensy bit grouchy when you woke up and I suggested to him that it would be better for everyone if he didn't act crazy before bed and put on his jammies quietly. (nervous laughter)

Stars In My Sky: Uh huh. (turning with a look of promised reprisal)