Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Deep Down They're Really Good

Wondering what that is? Take a guess? If you guessed a plastic toy boulder that my two or four year old (doesn't matter which, they're both guilty) put in a wall heater you guessed right. I thought I smelt something yesterday but couldn't find anything. Tonight before Bern went to work she was complaining about smelling something upstairs. It bothered her enough to call home after getting to work to have me go upstairs and check. Well, she wasn't crazy... no, won't touch that. Anyway. A few minutes work with my trusty Motorola Krazr flashlight turned up the culprit. It's 11:01pm, is it too late to wake them up and spank them?

Monday, October 29, 2007

Illnesses Whose Victims May Not Be Safely Eaten

Courtesy of Timothy McSweeney

1. Rabies

2. Chickenpox

3. Leukemia

4. Tuberculosis

5. The common cold

6. Hodgkin's disease

7. Hepatitis*

8. Leprosy

9. Crohn's disease**

10. Mono (aka mononucleosis, the Epstein-Barr virus, the kissing disease)

11. AIDS

12. Influenza

13. Malaria***

14. Herpes (genital or oral)

15. SARS

Illnesses Whose Victims
May Be Safely Eaten

1. Color blindness

2. Tourette's syndrome

3. Alzheimer's disease

4. Breast, thyroid, liver, and prostate cancers****

5. Asthma

6. HIV

7. Cholera*****

8. Chlamydia*****

9. Syphilis*****

10. Diphtheria*****

11. Muscular dystrophy

12. Tinnitus

13. Type 2 diabetes

14. Parkinson's disease

15. Homesickness

- - - -

* It may be safe to consume a victim of hepatitis if you carefully avoid the liver.

** At one time, it was believed that Crohn's disease was a genetic disorder and thus its victims were safe to devour. Recent studies, however, suggest that Crohn's is an infectious environmental bacteria, linked to Johne's disease, which infects ruminants. If this is correct, victims of Crohn's may not be safely consumed.

*** It may be safe to consume a victim of malaria if the blood is drained and the liver is avoided.

**** Victims may not be consumed if cancer was induced by hepatitis virus.

***** Slight chance that these diseases would infect through the mouth/esophagus mucosa before they could be destroyed by the acidity of the stomach. Thus, their victims could not be said to be "safe."

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Friday, October 26, 2007

Talking to the Moon

Every work day morning I get the kids ready to go before I get myself ready. Saves me from having to change out of toothpaste stained clothes twice. So today I get them done and send them off to play. I noticed how bright the moon was since it's full today and opened up Connor's blinds to show the boys then headed off to the bathroom. While I'm in there I can hear them talking and playing and doing their thing. Then I could hear them talking to somebody. They were showing the moon their toys and including it in a game they were playing that involved shooting bad guys.

The moon as a babysitter, who knew?

PS. Did you see the moon this morning? That was something you sacrifice a virgin to. Spooky.

Monday, October 22, 2007


"Connor. Come here. What's going on in the living room?"

"Liam threw something at me."

"Uh huh. And what were you doing with your legs?"

"I was trying to kick him but it didn't work."


Bern likes to make fun of me when it comes to the fridge. She says that if I can't see it as soon as I open the door it ceases to exist. Ok, not so far from the truth. I think it also has to do with the way we look at things. When she looks into the fridge, she's literally looking INTO the fridge. She's 5 foot nothing and a half! When I look in the fridge I'm looking down so that stuff in the back, can't see it.

Yesterday she asked me if I could clean the hood vent over the oven. I said sure, I could see it looked pretty grimy and dusty, no problem. So I cleaned it all off and now it's nice and shiny and new looking again. Only problem is she was looking up at the actual intake fans underneath the hood. I can't see those. I was looking at the top of the hood which is over her head. (Not to mention far easier to clean.)

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Monday, October 15, 2007

Requested by Julie

Here is the recipe(s) for the cinnamon buns. The recipe for the buns is from the Better Homes and Gardens 2003 Holiday Baking issue. I like it because it uses fast-rising (instant) yeast and doesn't require a long proofing time. The topping is from the June/July 2003 issue of Saveur.

2 cups brown sugar (I used dark brown--used the full amount, it was almost too much maybe 1 3/4 next time)
1/2 cup milk
8 tbsp. butter (I used unsalted)
3/4 cup shelled pecans, chopped--optional, (I used almost 1 1/2 cup, it's the kids' favourite part)


4 to 4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 pkg. fast-rising active dry yeast
2/3 cup milk
2/3 cup water
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup cooking oil
1/2 tsp. salt
2 egg yolks
1/4 cup butter, softened (I used unsalted)
1/3 cup sugar
4 tsp. cinnamon (this time I used 3 1/2 tsp., the last time I used the full amount and found it too much)

1. Grease a 13x9x2-inch baking pan (I used 2 9-inch round pans) and set aside. For the topping: combine the sugar, milk and butter in a medium saucepan and heat over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the butter melts, 5-8 minutes. Let cool slightly and pour into prepared pan(s), sprinkle with the chopped pecans. Set aside.

2. In a large bowl, combine 2 cups of the flour and the yeast. In a small saucepan, combine milk, the water, the 1/2 cup sugar, the oil and salt. Heat and stir over medium heat just until warm (120⁰F to 130⁰F).

3. Add milk mixture and egg yolks to flour mixture. Beat with an electric mixer on low to medium speed for 30 seconds, scraping sides of bowl constantly. Beat on high speed for 3 minutes. Using a wooden spoon, stir in as much of the remaining flour as you can.

4. Turn dough out onto a floured surface. Knead in enough of the remaining flour to make a moderately soft dough that is smooth and elastic, 3 to 5 minutes total. Cover and let rest for 10 minutes.

(I just used my stand mixer with the paddle for step 3 and the dough hook for step 4. I used the mixer until the flour was all mixed in and took the dough out and kneaded it by hand since Liam likes to help with this part. But you could just let the mixer do the kneading.)

5. Roll dough into a 14x12-inch rectangle. Spread with softened butter. In a small bowl, combine the 1/3 cup sugar and the cinnamon; sprinkle over the butter.

(You could just mix the butter, sugar and cinnamon together and spread it on the dough, leaving a border at the top and bottom. I find this makes it easier to roll and makes it neater when cutting the dough--you won't have sugar and cinnamon falling out.)

6. Starting from a long side, roll up dough rectangle; seal seam. Slice into 12 pieces. Place pieces in prepared pan. Cover; let rise in a warm place until nearly double in size (about 20 minutes). Preheat oven to 375⁰F.

(I covered the pans and put them in the oven with a pan of very hot water. The buns wouldn't have budged if I had let them rise on the counter in my cold kitchen.)

7. Bake rolls in the preheated oven about 20 minutes or until golden. Cool slightly in pan on a wire rack; remove from pan.

(Don't overbake, I did it once and the caramel topping dried up. To remove the rolls from the pan, just put a plate over the pan and invert.)

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Recipe for nasty-ass coffee

Wake up bleary-eyed from staying up too late and waking up too early. Throw something edible at the two little monsters who woke you up. Prepare your coffee machine with water and new coffee grinds, but-important, do not dump out the left over coffee that has been in the pot since who knows when. Then add as much cream and sugar as you like because nothing is going to fix that boiled ass taste. Yum yum.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

No New Posts

Once again we are without our computer. Last time it was in the shop they couldn't find anything wrong but they recommended upgrading the RAM. Fair enough, it's four years old. I don't think they installed it correctly though since we didn't notice any difference in performance. Also, when you eject a disc it literally spits the disc out of the computer. Which is pretty entertaining since the discs load on the side of the computer and being round, once they get spit out, hit the table, then the floor, they just keep rolling. Anyway, no computer.