Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Pretend Like It's Tuesday, Or Maybe Twensday

Today's post was supposed to be a Random Tuesday, but I got kinda side tracked writing up a thousand postcards. What the hell was I thinking? Ok, not really. It was more me getting home from work last night at nearly 10pm and thinking my time would be better spent watching the hijinks of Rick Castle and the dreamy Detective Kate Beckett. What? Anyway, I've sent out post cards to most people who've given me their addresses already. If you're one of those people who don't have your comments linked to your email address, I haven't got to you yet, but never fear, I will. Pinkie swear. Also, there are one or two of you out there who requested to be in on this but not only can I not email you back from your comment, your link goes nowhere. Sorry, but you're going to have to email me. Don't know what I'm talking about? Postcard exchange, check it out. And just to make my life easier: ctordoff (at)

Did you see my new Twitter bird up top? Kirsten from Life & Times of Maladay did that for me because she's full of fantasticosity. If you've never been to her blog, or blogtoon as she describes it, I highly recommend it. Totally worth going back and reading her previous posts.

We bought a new printer this weekend. One of the first items in the instructions was a warning not to consume the silica pack. I'm sorry, but aside from the danger to a small child or someone with a learning disability, if you've ever considered eating packing salt, go ahead, you're thinning the gene pool.

Two guys program a phone to drive a car. The Chinese will rule the world one day. Them and Google.

I had to stop at a drug store this past weekend to pick up some stamps and there was the prerequisite child outsite trying to sell chocolate bars for {insert cause}. I only had money for stamps so I passed her up with a polite blow off. On the way out though, she'd been joined by a second and they were chanting their sales pitch à la Village of the Damned. They were terrifying. If I'd had a wooden stake I might have erred on the side of caution and sent them back to their chocolatey hell.

Don't look at me like that. They had dead eyes. DEAD EYES!

I heard on the news today that Vancouver is now the 3rd least affordable city in the world to live in behind Hong Kong and Sydney, Australia. Ah, that's why my taxes are so freaking high. Great. They said that the average home will take 9 years to pay off based on a salary of $67,000, and that's using 100% of the salary. Hmm, and if you make nowhere near $67,000 a year? Bastards. Maybe I'll start collecting empty bottles.

And finally, Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal on dueling cellos, because really, where can you go from there?

Both videos from oneplusinfinity.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Posts Cards From The Edge

The edge of my department that is. Well, not the very edge. If you were to push over that faux wall there you'd be in another department that does who knows what but gets the sweet ass view of the north shore mountains. Bastards. Whatever, I can stand up and see them. But my lack of a view is not what this is about, what it's about is the great empty space on my left.

Bare right? I have  a few pics on the right hand side, but the left is barren except for a couple pictures of the kids and a duck that Liam made for me. So the other day when I was making my hourly pilgrimage to the Keurig machine I noticed that one of my coworkers had a couple of postcards up and since everything is a competition I thought, hey, I know a lot of people from places that aren't here and wouldn't that be cool if I could show off decorate my lonely workspace with postcards from them? Would you like a postcard from Vancouver? Send me one from where ever you are and I'll send you one back. Cool, right? It will be like friending each other on FB but with a more personal touch. And it will cost us a stamp. Can you put a price on friendship though? Ok, I guess it will also be the cost of a postcard too. Forget that last question. Anyway, if you're interested, let me know in the comments and I'll email you back if you're set up for that and we can exchange addresses. If you're comments are not linked to your email, my email address is... wait, I have to go look at the preview... ok, it's on the bottom right hand side of the page. Help me to look cooler than my work mates and I'll send you a pretty picture for your fridge.

PS. It's very dark in the picture because it was at the beginning of a 5am to 1pm shift and since I was alone I figured it would be the best time to take a picture since I'm not really sure if I'm allowed to or not.

PPS. Yes, that's still a picture of my kids and Santa on my desktop, what of it?

PPPS. I just noticed that box under my desk and I have no idea what it is.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Title? Title? Nah, I Got Nothin

This dog has nothing to do with anything, but holy hell look at his face.

My mom has an iPad. My mom. I have a two year old iTouch, and a hand me down computer, but my mom now has an iPad. Not that I'm jealous or anything, I'm very happy for her.

My mom.


We had a brief snow day last week so we bundled Finn up for his first experience with snow.

A heinous Canadian terrorist bent on God know what was stopped at the American border last week only moments before contaminating the land of the free and home of the brave with her car load of nefarious  contraband. And what was she smuggling? Weapons grade plutonium? Low cost pharmaceuticals? Or a Kinder Surprise?

That's right, she was stopped and fined $300 for trying to cross the border with a child's toy wrapped inside a delicious chocolate egg. Apparently the United States government has decided the toy inside the egg is a choking hazard. Fair enough, but if you've ever tried to open one of those f@%#g eggs for one of your children you'll know the real hazard is to the parent, not the child.

I always get complaint when I don't post something Star Wars related..

My sister in law got me these really nice pants from JCrew a while back and I just wore them for the first time yesterday. They are comfy as hell and look great, but they have the craziest... um, buttony uppy thing. There's the fly and the button but then there's this whole other strap-like attachment that you have to button up before you zip. It's like a built in chastity belt. The hell?

More crochet magic. Unless it's knit. Whatever.

And finally, in honour of our host Keely, snow zombie.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Dad, Liam told me he was going to eat my eyebrows!


The day after Christmas we're sitting at the dinner table enjoying turkey leftovers when a mini-foot ball flies across the table and hits Liam in the eye. Hard. I look up at Connor with an it-must-have-been-the-tryptophan-because-I-know-you-could-not-possibly-just-have-done-what-I-think-you-just-did death stare only to find him looking back at me with the stink eye because he knows he's busted and this is how he responds instead of just admitting his guilt. I'd like to say I approached the issue calmly and quietly and not like Homer Simpson strangling Bart, but that didn't happen, though I did manage to keep my hands off his neck. His excuse?

He told you to? He freakin told you to? Is this supposed to be funny? Funny how? I mean funny like you're a clown, you amuse me? You make me laugh, you're here to freakin amuse me?

*throbbing vein in forehead*

Supreme Leader has been crocheting like mad lately. I want this.

Pre-Xmas conversation between my sister and I.

Sister: Hey, it's getting really close to Christmas, what should I get for the boys?
Me: Meh, just get them some gift cards for Toys R Us. What should I get for Mik and Dakoda?
Sister: Gift cards are probably easiest.
Me: ....
Sister: ....
Me: How about you just buy your kids a couple of gift cards and say they're from us and we'll do the same.
Sister: That works. What about Finn?
Me: *thinking about much younger step brother* Are you going to see dad before Christmas?
Sister: Ya.
Me: How about you pick up one more gift card for Josh and we'll get another for Finn?
Sister: How lame are we?
Me: Whatever, it works.

Santa? Still waiting for the iPad.

DRINKme-EATme-READme from Irina Neustroeva on Vimeo.

And with that I direct your attention to the Un-Mom's where you're sure to find a plethora of Random Tuesday hijinks. Or Keely's zombie savaged corpse slowly beginning to reanimate. Either way it's sure to be entertaining.