Sunday

GAAAH!!! I was just pondering a bike ride this morning and... sorry, wife was just talking about her planned breakfast of leftover BBQ'd meats from yesterday and over easy eggs... what was I talking about? Oh ya. Exercise. Ya. She's not very nice. Anyway, I had to ask oldest monkey to go find my water bottle since he likes to play with it and pretend it's, what else, a gun. Then I noticed some black marks inside. What the hell? Then I opened it and peered inside and noticed blue marks as well. What? Turns out if you fill the water bottle with crayons and shake the hell out of it it produces gun like noises. Sigh. I'm sure that will be tasty.

I've also noticed that I may have been neglecting the back lawn. Any idea how much it would cost to airlift a combine?

**PS. So while I was looking around for my riding gear I realized that it still hadn't been washed since the last time I was out. I found it underneath a small mountain of laundry. Whatevs, I thought, it will be a little stinky but so will I. Then I remembered it had rained heavily that day and it's all still wet and a little stinkier than I'd thought. Since the cool air and cold wet clothes would have resulted in some horrible leg cramps I've decided to stay home and eat some more. But the INTENT was there, right? I mean, I even pulled those nasty wet tights on. Wow, that sentence is bad in so many ways...

(Not So) Lazy Sunday, Foraging & Dizzy Design

Ok, so first off, props to Auntie Dizzy for the uncommissioned design of our new masthead. She sent over two of them last night, coincidentally the day after I'd spent some time looking at having someone do exactly this. And I was willing to pay. Diz (sister-in-law) is being well paid with unlimited hugs and kisses from the children for the rest of her life. She is under exclusive contract with UTME (Us & Them Multi-Media Empire), but if you're interested, have your legal team consult mine. Here's the other one:



And she's never done this before, either. All that and she's waaay hot too. In a Lucy Lui/Tia Carrera kinda way. Yes, she will kick my ass for that, but she'll do it anyway just for mentioning her here even under her familial name. Whatever. Thank you Auntie Dizzy.

So, since my life will be undergoing a MAJOR change soon (more on that in another post) I think it's time to start turning over some other leaves too. Like I'm getting fat and that needs to stop now. We went down to Granville Island yesterday and had lunch before we left. I had a bourbon bbq cheeseburger. With fries. And some of Liam's chicken fingers. As we drove home I felt like... hmm, not like I was having a heart attack, more like my heart was trying to pump fryer grease. That can't be good.

This morning we woke up to heavy rain so I decided this would be a good day for a bike ride. I don't like exercising in the summer much, I prefer it when it's cold. Maybe it's a Canadian thing?

Supreme Leader decided that since I was going out I could do some hunting/gathering as well. Unfortunately the herds seem to have moved off the steppes. Luckily I found a patch of wild corn so I didn't have to return to the tribe empty handed.

So I exercised today! I was so proud of myself when I got home, and so ferociously hungry that I ate a leftover enchilada, a hot dog, the remainder of Connor's K & D Squiggles and two cookies. Hmm. I think what we should take away from this is that I DID exercise today. It's a start.

Apropos nothing, Bernadette walked up to me and started shaking a can in my face.

Wife: Can you hear that?
Me: (wtf?) Ah... I don't hear anything.
Wife: Exactly, there's no water in there, it's solid coconut cream. That's the sound of DEATH.

She's making some type of dessert for dinner so I'm assuming the death will be mine. Oh well, at least I know death will taste good.