Tuesday, April 27, 2010

"You Don't Much Look Like A Steer To Me"*

I've only posted five times this month. What the hell? Last April I posted sixteen times and the April before that, fifty-eight. Fifty-eight posts in a month? Freak. Excuse me while I sit back and ponder that whilst stuffing another piece of chocolate ganache cake in my mouth.

randomtuesday

I just used 'whilst' in a sentence. Did I use it correctly? Who cares, I'm eating chocolate ganache and you're not!



Had to take my oldest in for a blood test this week. He sat in my lap while I held both his arms down with the assistance of another lab techie while a third managed to stick him. His arm is so bruised he looks like a junkie. Oh, and he's fine. We're just trying to find out why he is such an asshole to his little brother who worships the ground he walks on. The tests were inconclusive.



My odometer is speaking to me in binary.

Ever heard of the 365 project on flickr? The idea is you take a picture a day for an entire year. In a Collection A Day, artist Lisa Congdon takes a picture of a collection of random things everyday.


There's a huge dandelion outbreak in my neighbourhood this year. Can't figure out why.



A great big thank you to Middle Aged Woman who sent us this framed pic from Tera of Olive Hue Design (I'm still going to get the zombie pic, Tera!) as a baby present.


Middle Aged Woman may not be so sweet if Vancouver and Detroit meet in the next round of playoffs though.

Oh, and I'm employed yet again. I won't say by who, only that it's a large North American retailers whose name rhymes with cheers, steers, beers, tears, queers, fears, nears and arrears. I'm in housewares. HOUSEWARES! Ahahahahahahaaa... ha ha... ha... sniff sniff. What the hell am I doing in housewares?

Check out Keely's for more Random Tuesday fun.


*Title anyone?

62 comments:

  1. You crack me up... thats all I got...

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  2. Being an asshole is one of the many privileges one receives when one is the eldest.

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  3. *An Officer and a Gentleman? ...only two things come from Texas....

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  4. can you pass me that spatula?

    Oh, and the mean to your brother thing? It's a way of life over here. When you find the cure- SEND IT OVER.

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  5. He's mean to his baby brother because he can. Then again have you checked for food allergies? He may just feel like crap this time of year and he takes it out on his brother because he CAN.

    I love the collection of dice. Or is that die?

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  6. Housewares? That's perfect for you Captain.

    And Detroit is about as sure to be in the next round as my damn Caps are. grrrrrrr.

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  7. cool pic...hate taking the kids to the doctor...here's how my brain works...i was reading the ice to see it there was a message in there...

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  8. So glad you are back, if only for a day :D

    Somehow you usually manage to brighten the day.

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  9. I worship the ground you walk on. Well, I would if I could. Hope you didn't get too much chocolate ganache on your keyboard.

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  10. Want to clean the coffee off my monitor? Never mind... you have a job to go to! YAY!! That comment about the blood test made me lose some coffee. Hey, I'm just glad I didn't snort it out my nose. That coffee was hot!

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  11. Inconclusive medical tests? Unnecessary bruising? Your Canadian medical system is so inferior to our cheap and faultless alternative.

    If anyone uses the steer line on you, the proper response is to paw the ground and gore them to death. Especially if they're dressed like a redneck clown.

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  12. Thanks for the giggle . Housewares? Really?

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  13. Well, I may be in the gorgeous Florida sunshine, but we'll all be watching today to see if the Wings make it to the next round. Game 7 is at 6:30 eastern. If the Wings meet the Canucks in the next round, I believe some sort of wager is in order.

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  14. Great randomness!
    Love the dandelion picture ~ too cute!

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  15. hahahah I have chocolate covered cherry cake.....;)

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  16. congrats on the job. don't look a gift job in the mouth, as they say...right and of COURSE you aren't writing as much, you got a JOB to go to. And being the oldest has privileges...it it futile to seek the reasons...

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  17. To determine the cause of his assholiness, shouldn't the doc have done anal probes instead? At least threatening them may have cured the condition for a few days.

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  18. He does look a little guilty, especially while holding the evidence. But I do like the sea of dandelions that have taken over our park.

    Congrats on the job.

    I think your car is telling you, you are a perfect 10.

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  19. There is a test to determine the cause of assholeness? Isn't being the big brother enough?

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  20. I love the dandelion picture- what a look!

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  21. I'm pretty sure I was a giant asshole to my little brother, who also worshiped the ground I walked on.

    I'm totally digging that 365 project. Just may have to do one myself!!

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  22. I just went through the whole alphabet trying to figure out what store rhymed..yeah, I'm that sad :) They have to hold my niece down to do anything medical to her too. She's 3. She'll come home all sad looking and say "they hold me down again". Poor baby.

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  23. Detroit can suck it. So can Chicago. And being the baby in the family is the worst, therefore we reserve the right to torture our older siblings when they are teenagers and all easy to embarass.

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  24. Wow, Canada is awesome. They don't even OFFER that kind of genetic testing over here for sibling fighting. I think it's out of network..

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  25. We have just entered the "my big brother is awesome even though he stole my favorite monkey toy" stage. I'm not sure which emotion overwhelms me more, the guilt over little o's face as his toy makes a getaway, or the urge to pound LG into the ground for being an assface again.

    Housewares, huh? Do you get to wear an apron with lace in that department?

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  26. So good to see you around. I certainly hope working in Housewares doesn't get in the way of blogging? Where are your priorities.

    You should have let little brother do the stabbing with the needle - the tests would have been conclusive. ;)

    Happy Tuesday!

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  27. ???
    Why do you need a blood sample of your eldest, when he's an ass to his little brother?
    That's part of the job!

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  28. Oh, and Congrats on your new job! :D

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  29. Glad to hear you're employed again. I was beginning to think you were just being lazy.

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  30. He is a complete asshole to the younger because the younger one stole his parents, his quiet, his peace, his toys -- oh am I talking about your kids or my younger brother - those four years so many years ago were bliss.

    Enjoy housewares - OMG I can just see the displays - have they been warned what to expect???

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  31. I like the idea of a 365 day project...but at some point aren't you just forced to take a picture of *whatever* and not because it's a quality photo? Or maybe it's supposed to teach you how to take a quality photo of *whatever* and that's the point...

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  32. Housewares? Not lingerie? Or ladies shoes? You were cheated!
    PS- Love your little dandelion whisperer. The look on his face is priceless

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  33. My Wife went away for the weekend and brought me and the Daughter chilli chocolate back. Absolutely disgusting.
    Congrats on the job. Housewares?

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  34. I'm going to go ahead and assume you're spending your days setting up grilled cheese man dioramas, because does anybody actually shop there any more?

    Have you tried the whole food dye thing for assholeishness?

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  35. You posted 58 times in a month???

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  36. Full Metal Jacket...Gunny in boot camp
    Love the binary odo...made me laugh!

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  37. you totally stole the word whilst from me, and props for your mad usage skillz.

    just wondering why the supreme breeder is allowing you to live after consuming her ganache.

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  38. Do you get to model aprons? Or wield a frying pan like a hammer?

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  39. alls i wanna say is that i hope that sign was on the way in and not on the way out
    i mean, how else are people supposed to know ?!
    some joke...

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  40. You're young. You've got your health. Whatdya want a job for?

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  41. Wow, you must have 'toughskin' to work at Skeers.

    Lukas is watering our dandilions. They perk up when they see him.

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  42. Life's a beach, and I'm on it...

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  43. Instead of taking a photo a day, I've decided to take 365 photos in *one* day. Iconoclast that I am.

    Ellie

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  44. Holy shit, if there's an asshole screening test, sign me up. We've been trying to figure out that one for awhile.

    So yesterday, at E's 2 year well visit, the dr was telling me that she passed her autism screening with no problems and as I was saying to the dr "can you do a jerkface screening too?", my kid falls off the fucking observation table. Who's the jerkface now?

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  45. And I have NO IDEA what store you're talking about? But congrats on employment.

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  46. Yipeee on the job.....housewares....well you know how to talk to women....LOL

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  47. Ganache!

    We've also had a dandelion outbreak, but that's cool with me. I'm making dandelion wine.

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  48. I used to work for a large chain store, where they put me in automotive and sporting goods. ???
    I know absolutely nothing about either. Needless to say, job didn't last long.

    I love the idea of a 365 project, but I usually only make it to about day 4. Which is the age level of attention span I apparently have.

    And your odometer? Wicked cool.

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  49. Oh, yeah! I'm glad you like my little robot! :)

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  50. Holy Crap! It's good to know I am not the only parent who had to be a human straight jacket for their child. That's totally torture.

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  51. So if I come in can you get me a discount on a blender? heh

    why were they taking blood?

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  52. can you score me some free stuff???? Oh and how mean are you making your poor allergy suffering child pose with weeds for a post on your blog!!!!just cruel......

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  53. Awesome random. Thanks, I needed the laugh.

    And btw what's chocolate ganache? I thought I knew of all things chocolate related, but apparently not.

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  54. My postings have fallen off. Must be spring, or not.. I hope your son is alright. Big brothers and sisters are a-holes to their siblings – a jealous thing. Ask him. Get ready to hear, I don't know.
    Have a great day!
    Gerardine

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  55. I don't know what it is like to have a sibling neither does my son, so any assholishness is to be blamed on his Dad- Ha!

    I think I know where you work- know I'm going to try to stalk you...from afar

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  56. mmmm, chocolate ganache cake. That's what I'm talking about.

    365. Really? A fully year?
    My random collection picture taking would last approximately 1 day since that is about the extent of my patience with harnessing the energy needed to assemble an interesting collection of random items every single day for an entire year.

    (whispering) is it sears?

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  57. Yes, please do post more. Congrats on your new job! Someone once told me that the meaning of life was "work sucks and then you die." The older I get, the more true that becomes...

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  58. I think that my posting will be about the same rate as yours, shortly! I have become the wizard of slacking!

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  59. Sounds just like my oldest and youngest... It makes us crazy that he can be so awful to his little bro. :(

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  60. Shit man, really? Working blows. You could come to Alabama and work with me... although, I don't know if we're hiring. And they'd most likely send you elsewhere.... but whatevs.

    Put the chocolate cake down and start writing again FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. I miss you.

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Come on, sailor. I love you long time.