Thursday, August 21, 2008

Emails From Home: Mr. Jiggles

Me: (Co-worker) wants to know if you like chunky men. I was talking about
sitting on the couch and getting fatter and fatter until my belly
starts pushing my shirt up.

Wife: You're not getting that fat. That was not a statement to make you feel better about your unintentionally planned weight gain. That was an edict from on high

6 comments:

  1. Oh, stop. Well, maybe don't. You could go on The Biggest Loser and win the money. Your winnings wouldn't come in for a while so no conflict with your severence pay. Sounds easy and fool proof.

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  2. Wife doesn't even thinly veil those edicts, does she?

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  3. Oh hey, tell her you gain the weight sitting & thinking about how great she is. On second thoughts, don't, dentists aren't cheap.

    As to the other thing, cheers & go for it. But if you happen to be a scientist and actually invent a device that does indeed do that, give me a mention when collecting the Nobel Prize, eh?

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  4. you're not getting fat, it's not
    in your Genes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jen: If that means I can go on the Phelps diet to qualify for the show, I'm in.

    MAW: Il Duce

    Chris: I will dedicate a blog to your genius, after I've plagiarized yours some more.

    jerlyn: I do take after my mother.

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  6. Justify the weight gain by pointing out that there is more of you to love.

    ReplyDelete

Come on, sailor. I love you long time.