Thursday, August 21, 2008

Emails From Home: Mr. Jiggles

Me: (Co-worker) wants to know if you like chunky men. I was talking about
sitting on the couch and getting fatter and fatter until my belly
starts pushing my shirt up.

Wife: You're not getting that fat. That was not a statement to make you feel better about your unintentionally planned weight gain. That was an edict from on high


  1. Oh, stop. Well, maybe don't. You could go on The Biggest Loser and win the money. Your winnings wouldn't come in for a while so no conflict with your severence pay. Sounds easy and fool proof.

  2. Wife doesn't even thinly veil those edicts, does she?

  3. Oh hey, tell her you gain the weight sitting & thinking about how great she is. On second thoughts, don't, dentists aren't cheap.

    As to the other thing, cheers & go for it. But if you happen to be a scientist and actually invent a device that does indeed do that, give me a mention when collecting the Nobel Prize, eh?

  4. you're not getting fat, it's not
    in your Genes.

  5. Jen: If that means I can go on the Phelps diet to qualify for the show, I'm in.

    MAW: Il Duce

    Chris: I will dedicate a blog to your genius, after I've plagiarized yours some more.

    jerlyn: I do take after my mother.

  6. Justify the weight gain by pointing out that there is more of you to love.


Come on, sailor. I love you long time.