And this is really cool, but only if you're watching it on a decent computer. If your video usually comes out all shaky, it's not going to be as impressive.
Me: Why did you give me your cold?
Liam: I didn't give it to you, it donated itself.
And finally, a little something special for my Mom and the Un-Mom.
Email between Supreme Leader and I the other day after we had Chinese food at work:
Me: Mmm, ginger beef...
Supreme Leader: B
Me: Does that rhyme with plastered?
SL: Stitch
Me: Nasty.
SL: Princess
Me: I'm going to blog your meanness
SL: Cut off
See what I have to put up with?
Where the hell have I been?
Hmm, what was I doing around this time last year? Oh ya, I was recovering from this
And this
Heh heh heh.
I want everything in this video.
A series of text messages between my sister and I:
Sister: Hey
Sister: How many times to I have to call You a butch (iPhone auto correct) before you answer?
Sister: Butch, ha ha ha
Sister: BITCH
Sister: Bitch
Sister: BITCH
Sister: Seriously
Sister: Some people are just so rude, some people say they will call you and don't
BTW that's 8 texts…jerk
Sister: You're dead to me.
Me (next day): Shit! Sorry. I'm a horrible brother, what can I say. Tonight?
Sister: That's funny, I didn't think the dead could talk… let alone text… DEAD TO ME
About five minutes before I found this next video I received a comment from Vodka Mom. Must mean something. So for Deb and PHST and Apathy Lounge and Unmitigated, because she used to be one, and any other teacher bloggers I might be forgetting, this is for you.
Kids offer a constant stream of blogability, and in the past week and a half, Liam has been gold. GOLD. Tantrums, regular conversation, buttering Mommy and Daddy up or just opening his mouth to let the magic fall out. If I made any money off this site I'd have to put him on the payroll.
Liam: Mommy, what's all that white in your hair? Mommy: When people get older their hair starts to get white. Liam: Why is there so much of it? Hey Connor! Come look at Mommy's head!
See? Gold. (Supreme Leader got a cut and colour soon after this conversation took place.)
Somebody, and I'm not naming names, had a little accident the other night. When I went in to find out why he… er, the person in question, was crying, the person was busy pulling all their stuffed animals out of the bed. When I stripped this person down and wrapped him/her in a clean blanket so I could go get some new sheets, this person said, "I'll have to apologize to my bed." Then he/she curled up in a ball on the floor and fell asleep again.
"Explosions of love!"
While I was washing dishes and he was drawing on the patio doors with window crayons:
Liam: Daddy, I found a spider, should I kill him? Daddy: Why don't we let him go. Liam: Ok, the kitchen is messy enough for him to live in.
Ouch.
Intrepid explorer...
...lover of cherries...
...slayer of giants, he does it all.
"If you come to my country, don't bring peanuts."
Wouldn't dream of it, Pumpkin. Thanks for giving Daddy something to write about this week.
Why the hell do so many people in my city feel the need to use their high beams at night? Are they sight impaired? If I lived in the middle of nowhere I could understand, but we live in a city. With street lamps. WTH?
I was taking the Sky Train (elevated transit not a magic train) to work the other day and happened to look down just as the train was passing over a shady section of Metropolis, and by Metropolis I mean Superman's Metropolis. It was actually a block long movie set they use to film Smallville. Is that still on the air? Anyway, it was very weird to be suddenly travelling over seedy looking brownstones, especially since we don't have brownstones here.
It was Chinese New Year a couple days back, Year of the ... Unicorn? Gerbil? I don't know. Possibly a bunny. Anyway, one of the traditional New Year's gifts given out to children or younger unmarried people or your favourite waiter is little red envelopes filled with money. As usual, the boys made out like theives.
They graciously shared some of their money to pay the delivery guy for some beef brisket hot pot and chow mien. Thanks boys.
Supreme Leader sent me this email at work the other day. She'd just arrived home after taking the boys out to get their hair cut and to buy a new coffee machine:
We had picked out the coffee maker and Connor wanted to help and carry it, Liam wanted to help too but Connor wouldn't let him. There ensued a mini tantrum, tears and pitiful cries of Connor being mean and not wanting him to be helpful. I suggested to Connor that they should take turns. Connor gave the box to Liam who tried to carry it and walk, he was having trouble and said, I hope I remembered the words exactly, "Could someone wipe my eyes, I can't see very well with these tears in my eyes."
Gratuitous baby shot.
So the postcards have been rolling in and they have been entertaining. One of them was so amazing we're actually buying a frame for it. Unfortunately, I totally lost track of who I did and didn't get a hold of, so if you said you wanted in on this and I haven't traded addresses with you yet, let me know. For everybody else, they're out and at the whim of your country's postal service.
Random Tuesday, and I actually managed to do it on Tuesday.
Ya, so I missed RTT again. I'd offer an excuse but you don't really care why and I don't have one so let's move on, shall we? I've received three post cards so far from Ellie at Me, You and Ellie, Jenni at Oscarelli and Juliana from Surviving Boys and I've heard back from... I think 5 people now that they've received there's. Yay! I'll take another pic of my desk once I've got some more up on my wall.
Hello, Marion.
This is pretty cool. What other planets would look like from Earth if they were orbiting us from the same distance as the moon is.
How long does it take you to figure out what this means?
I actually found this after I wrote this post up and realized I hadn't added anything Star Wars related. It's like there was a disturbance in the Force that auto-corrected itself. Matthew from Cicero, NY, this ones for you.
Middle-child Liam started out the school year with some "behavioural issues" and to help him along, his teachers created a colour coded chart to track his day. Blue was great, green was good, yellow-meh, and red for DefCon 1. He's had his ups and downs, but lately he has been doing so well that his teacher added a new colour to his chart, purple.
Today's post was supposed to be a Random Tuesday, but I got kinda side tracked writing up a thousand postcards. What the hell was I thinking? Ok, not really. It was more me getting home from work last night at nearly 10pm and thinking my time would be better spent watching the hijinks of Rick Castle and the dreamy Detective Kate Beckett. What? Anyway, I've sent out post cards to most people who've given me their addresses already. If you're one of those people who don't have your comments linked to your email address, I haven't got to you yet, but never fear, I will. Pinkie swear. Also, there are one or two of you out there who requested to be in on this but not only can I not email you back from your comment, your link goes nowhere. Sorry, but you're going to have to email me. Don't know what I'm talking about? Postcard exchange, check it out. And just to make my life easier: ctordoff (at) yahoo.ca
Did you see my new Twitter bird up top? Kirsten from Life & Times of Maladay did that for me because she's full of fantasticosity. If you've never been to her blog, or blogtoon as she describes it, I highly recommend it. Totally worth going back and reading her previous posts.
We bought a new printer this weekend. One of the first items in the instructions was a warning not to consume the silica pack. I'm sorry, but aside from the danger to a small child or someone with a learning disability, if you've ever considered eating packing salt, go ahead, you're thinning the gene pool.
Two guys program a phone to drive a car. The Chinese will rule the world one day. Them and Google.
I had to stop at a drug store this past weekend to pick up some stamps and there was the prerequisite child outsite trying to sell chocolate bars for {insert cause}. I only had money for stamps so I passed her up with a polite blow off. On the way out though, she'd been joined by a second and they were chanting their sales pitch à la Village of the Damned. They were terrifying. If I'd had a wooden stake I might have erred on the side of caution and sent them back to their chocolatey hell.
Don't look at me like that. They had dead eyes. DEAD EYES!
I heard on the news today that Vancouver is now the 3rd least affordable city in the world to live in behind Hong Kong and Sydney, Australia. Ah, that's why my taxes are so freaking high. Great. They said that the average home will take 9 years to pay off based on a salary of $67,000, and that's using 100% of the salary. Hmm, and if you make nowhere near $67,000 a year? Bastards. Maybe I'll start collecting empty bottles.
And finally, Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal on dueling cellos, because really, where can you go from there?
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