Will Clean For Sex

Now, I don't generally like to brag, but I'm hoping to get lucky soon and I'm thinking yesterday is gonna see me some action. Supreme Leader had an extended 10 hour shift so it was just the monkeys and me. Walking home from school Connor decided he wanted pancakes for lunch. I tried to suggest some other yummy substitutes but no, he wanted pancakes. Supreme Leader has walked me through it so I gave in to the inevitable and decided to give it a shot. And guess what? I didn't f*ck them up. Kids didn't get sick or anything. Sure they might have been a little darker on one side than the other and the edges were a little weird (have to work on my spatula skills) but they looked and tasted like pancakes. And just before you go thinking I'm a total pansy-ass and was using a mix, betta step back! It was just me and the Joy of Cooking.

And THEN the fever took me. The weather is changing and I decided it was time to clean up the cave before the rains begin. I washed the kitchen floor, the foyer and two out of three bathroom floors. (The en suite has carpet so washing it wouldn't have been a good idea. I know, carpet, but I didn't put it there and in the winter when the floor is cold... not so bad) I washed all three toilets, inside and out. I vacuumed the whole first floor. Spent quality time with the boys working on their writing & colouring skills. Took the kids to the school barbeque. Finally defeated Bowser with Liam in Super Mario Galaxy and got the kids in bed in time to watch The Terminator and Heroes. Oh, and posted. And I think I'm even missing some stuff in there too.

What do you think? Am I going to get lucky? And what happened to the days I would just put on my best Barry White voice and drop a "How you doin'?"

And then today rolled around and things turned...

And nicely segued into some...



Liam and I picked up Connor from school. One wanted to play in the playground before going home and the other didn't. Blows were exchanged. Play time ended. Two little boys screamed at each other the ENTIRE walk home. Daddy surprisingly kept his shit together most of the way home. Even laughed at how exhausted the little monsters were getting. The only time he had to lay down THE LAW was when one of them threatened to throw some type of orange berry at daddy and his pristine white lululemon hoodie. That DID NOT FLY. Why have I become the third person?

Whatever. I enjoyed a quiet (kinda) lunch by myself while the boys continued to shout at each other through their closed doors. Now... well, I was just about to say how everything is fine and we're all getting along but there seems to be a fight brewing over the Wii. Sigh.