Me: *narrowed eyes* Um... sure.
Ever wonder how they get the Olympic flame from Greece to the host country?
Carefully. This is the flame, divided into six separate miner's lanterns, leaving Athens on October 30th for Canada.
Random Tuesday. Really, you shouldn't need an introduction anymore.
Last week this guy in Toronto brought a Lego gun to work he'd bought on-line. This is a picture of him taken from a concerned neighbour across the street from his office.
Police piece together fake Lego gun case, after armed takedown
Once the heavily armed Emergency Response Team figured out it wasn't real they had a good laugh about it.
The temperature has dropped to zero here and it's playing hell on my skin. I feel like I'm molting. I put moisturizer on my forehead and by the time I finish my nose my head feels like a dry lake bed again. My hands look like I've been mummified and dug up after a millenium or two.
This is the Olympic flame at the Canadian Forces Station in Alert, North West Territories. Alert is only 817 km or 508 miles from the North Pole and is the "northernmost permanently inhabited place in the world."* If Santa needs to borrow a cup of sugar, this is where he goes.
The photo was taken at night, but since it's dark 24/7 there from October until March it may as well have been taken at noon.
Can somebody tell me how I close comments on old posts? The endless links to Asian porn were all funny to begin with but now it's just getting old. Plus, now I've started getting ads for Cialis in French and I can't figure out if it's a good deal or not.
The Olympic flame travelled 26,000 km (16,155 miles) by land and 18,000 km (11,184 miles) by air on it's trip around the country. Fittingly, it was only delayed once in Churchill, Manitoba.
Don't pick up hitchhikers.
The drive-thru lane at Mcdonalds should come equipped with gas jets. If you take more than three minutes making your order your car should be set on fire. I don't care if the kids are screaming. I don't care if you just received an important phone call. I don't care what your excuse is. It's McDonald's and it's the drive-thru. Know what you want before you get there. Fuck making correct change, fuck what toy the kids want for their Happy Meal and fuck arguing your bill at the take out window. If my fries are cold by the time I get home I will hunt you down and eat your heart.
Merry Christmas.
Go see the Un-Mom's for more merriment.
*Wiki
Olympic torch photos courtesy of The Big Picture.
Posts
I like your glasses by the way, though I never really saw you as a Lego kind of guy.
ReplyDeleteMy mum and dad did a stint in Alert back in the day.....apparently it's beautiful up there.
ReplyDeleteAs for the comments, I'm gathering a few Asian porn ones too. Drives me crazy. As far as I know you have to go into each post that is affected and click "Edit"..then once you're in Edit mode, click on "Post Options" which is where you can change what time and date your stuff is posted at...on the left of that is a bit labelled "Reader Comments" and you can choose from three options there.
Good luck...I wish I could figure out how to close comments on any post older than a certain date, but I haven't been able to yet.
Captain! You rock my world. I love your randomness and totally agree about the drive-thru. I rarely use drive-thru because, well, it's so much easier and often faster to get out and walk, plus, drive thru's are not big in Germany (also with the whole language issue, who knows what I would end up with if I can't use my hands to point and gesture to the amusement of all the Germans around me?). The only time I use them in the States is if it's pouring rain or if Indy was asleep when he was a baby.
ReplyDeleteBTW, cool info about the flame.
Dude, everybody knows Canadian drugs are the cheapest - stick with your Canadian Cialis.
ReplyDeleteCool about the torch. And I would like to know how to close comments on old posts as well. I keep getting spammed on the same post...weird.
ReplyDeleteAre you on the Olympic promotional team? Just wondering?
ReplyDeleteI guess we are all being hit with weird oriental porn...but on my cookbook giveaways. Now that is just kinky. After deleting tons of them over and over again I have finally put up comment moderation. All I know to do. Dang it...it just takes one to spoil all the fun!
ReplyDeleteNow you know how to distract the guards/tickettakers so SL and the boys can crash the gate at the Olympics.... or how to get that car to move outta the way at McDonalds, either one. LEGO Gun, FTW!
ReplyDeleteDo you think the Lego gun guy got fired for playing with toys at work? Or for causing his workplace to be stormed by armed police? What would someone need a Lego gun for anyways? Don't Canadians eschew guns? I bet he was an American expat.
ReplyDeleteI've had some trouble w/Asian porn too. Also with them leaving me comments. I'm emailing you my solution.
HI! Remember me!??!
ReplyDeleteChina is harrassing me too! Lemme know what you find out. It's annoying. I can't read your porn China! It is wasted on me.
Also, fully agree re: mcdonalds. This is a pivotal moment. In this instance, (and only this instance) I am not hating canada and all you stand for. (and I found out you have cheap drugs. Who knew?)
Snow Mountain, polar bear, cute scene and bright ideas
ReplyDeletehope that you have a day as shiny as the sun!
http://www.jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com
Does this mean I should stop sending you all the porn links? But I worked so hard to learn Mandarin!
ReplyDeleteMAW stole my comment!! OH well...when you are funny as shit it tends to spread wildly...
ReplyDeleteI always thought it would be great if the torch went out and someone just flicked a Bic to get it going again. I doubt the IOC would see that as funny.
ReplyDeleteFor comments go to the actual post in 'edit post' mode and the POst Options button will allow you to close comments. I had to close mine for links to Casey HASAY. Gee, wonder why I was getting spammed with a link to her site...
ReplyDeleteThe flame thing is weird looking.
Please inform Starbucks of the gas jets rule. I don't give a fig if you waited in line in your comfy car, I'm inside (which means I walked through sub zero to get there) I deserve to be served in a timely manner too morons.
Happy Tuesday Random.
I did a post about "summer fun" a few months ago and titled it "Speedo-Mon" because my then 3YO son wore a Speedo. BIG mistake. You wouldn't believe the disgusting searches that lead to that post. I feel like a bad mother for not changing the title, or pulling the post altogether.
ReplyDeleteI get ticked at the drive thru offenders, but have to admit I have been the offender once or twice myself.
ReplyDeleteI have the perfect solution for your dry hands and face, I have the same cold weather painful, burning, cracking skin issues. Email me if you're interested in details.
I was in Quebec City last week and then in Montreal. It was unseasonably warm considering last year it was sub zero.
ReplyDeleteYou need Shea Butter for your skin. My son gets severe eczema and this is the only stuff that helps heal and relieves the symptoms.
!Ciao!
Why does a grown man want a lego gun?
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on the McDonald's comment - but apply it to ANY drive thru convenience (food, pharmacy and bank)...
I like your pics of the torch in transit. Good to know!
ReplyDeleteI'm feelin' a little dislike toward you right now since you won the Punkin chunkin t-shirt from Andrea. Okay, I didn't enter.
But now that I watched the Punkin Chunkin special on the Science Channel, I feel like I deserve it.
Happy Random!
So the Emergency Response Team had a good laugh but did you?
ReplyDeletemy question: why didnt anyone think it odd about the creepy stalker guy across the street spying on the guy with the lego gun?????
ReplyDeleteTell me it was your wife commenting about using moisturiser? Mo's been dissing you on my blog by the way, go and give him a hard time.
ReplyDeleteCan we add the McDonald's concept to take care of the old people who still insist on writing checks at wal-mart or the grocery store.
ReplyDeleteWhen the Olympics came to Salt Lake this past time, the torch came through near where we lived. We woke up at the crack of dawn to see the torch run by. Then my wife touched one of the torches that were used (she felt so empowered).
ReplyDeleteSomething you could try is changing the "Comments Default for Posts" temporarily to be "New Posts Do Not Have Comments" then re-post those that are getting the spam. Then turn it back on again.
Something else you could try is Comment Moderation "Only on posts older than _____ days" radio button. That way, you can approve those great Asian Porn comments if you think they are worthy.
Thanks for your randomness,
McDonalds have had the same food for forever so I don't understand how it can take so long to decide. And if you've never been to McDonalds then you shouldn't start during lunch hour.
ReplyDeleteThe only way I know (besides comment moderation and verification) is to edit the old post and change the settings to not allow new comments but keep the old ones.
ReplyDeleteAlso, people who pull up to the drive-thru and announce they have four separate orders should be fed poison.
the only porn I ever get assumes I am a hard up, flaccid, balding old man....I am none of the above, but I am glad to know where Santa goes for his Sugar...hate to think he sends an elf out to Safeway when he wants to make cookies.....
ReplyDeleteThere should be a time limit on all drive thrus. After two minutes, you're done. If you can't swing an order in that amount of time, go inside.
ReplyDeleteThe torch thing is kind of cool.
Are there people who are really too busy to think about their order before they actually get up there? Does anyone in the world not know what is offered at McDonalds that they would need to study the menu that long?? This is a huge pet peeve of mine too. It's not like you're ordering filet mignon...it's processed mystery meat. And their fries are NOT reheatable, so violence is totally understandable in this situation.
ReplyDeleteI don't get the fascination with the torch. It doesn't excite me at all to know it never stops burning. It seems like a lot of time, money and energy are spent on this thing...I just don't get it.
wow what wonderful pictures. I have always loved watching the torch travel to its destination
ReplyDeletenice...yeah i keep getting those medication comments...i think there is something in settings...that hitchhiker sure looks cute and cuddly, yikes!
ReplyDeleteYou have to really sit down and tell me how you really feel about McDonald's drive thru!!! Heck the one near us was closed down for five days - I can't even imagine what happened to the families in our area. They closed down to shoot that Keanu Reeves' Alien movie - too old to remember the name.
ReplyDeleteAsian porn is that an oxymoron or a redundant statement??
I TOTALLY agree with you on the McDonalds thing. It should be like the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld. What choo want? Burger! You get burger! Now PAY!
ReplyDeleteSome people just need less choices. Seriously.
Love the blog!
hit zero, ya cry baby it's like -14 here!!!!! Aren't you sad you can't make it up this year???
ReplyDeletethe fries may be cold, but the heart is warm.
ReplyDeleteThe torch was here before there but the day that it was here my brake fluid let go and we didn't get to see it. I was BUMMED! My brother sent pics of him "touching it" where he is because it was there before here and my sister sent me pictures of it where she was because well it was there on her birthday. I said it's my Birthday too but I guess some people need a BIGGER candle?
ReplyDeleteSorry that totally took up way much space.
As for the closed, it's part of the dashboard I think? I've got it set up for approve after 2wks.
Try Burger King. There's never a line there..
ReplyDeleteThe fries,
ReplyDeleteThe fries,
The fries are on fire,
Order something now or the muthaf*^ka burns!
Burn, muthaf*^ka, burn!
Yes the cold weather is nasty. We've had -28 here the past few days. That's like, three seconds outside and your nose hairs freeze, weather.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing how the torch gets from place to place, really interesting and something of which I was completely unaware. Now that bit about Mickey Dees and the drive thru... scares the hell out of me at the thought of you eating someone's heart!
ReplyDeleteSnow bears ruin it for everyone. I am so down with the flame throwers at the drive-thru. Also at church because those old folks take for-EVER to take communion.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughter. If it was unintentional that’s even funnier!
ReplyDeleteGerardine Baugh
http://gerardinebaugh.wordpress.com
Crap, this whole post made me cold! LOL! Polar bears and North pole talk. brrrr!
ReplyDeleteWTF was with the leggo gun?
Lego guns hurt.... under your feet late at night
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm sure the cops had a good laugh about that one...
ReplyDeleteThe heart would be tastier than the fries anyway.
ReplyDeletei was freezing reading this and i'm even more freezing now and that's all i can think about
ReplyDeletethat, and polar bears
MacDonald's is disgusting and an embarrassment to America. Sorry about that particular export.
ReplyDeleteEllie
My kids still make guns from sticks so I guess I am in clear water for the moment. When they start toting Lego guns I think I'll throw out the Legos.
ReplyDeleteI'd think I'd just tell the polar bear to jump in the back of my pick up. He's not that heavy. That'd be kinda fun.
And I set my blog to moderate comments after 7 days and never publish the porn stuff. Don't know how to close comments though.
I'm sure my son would love to play Star Wars Christmas with Liam.
ReplyDeleteThe flame on the airplane is cool!
The guy with the gone not only got busted for the gun, but I would think his boss wouldn't be too happy either. I mean, he was putting it together at work. Good use of your time, man.
I don't envy your brand of cold. We're quite happy here with our 25 degrees, thanks.
ReplyDeleteapathy lounge
I don't know that hitchhiker looks like he might keep ya warm.
ReplyDeleteI got into a shouting match with one particularly shit-headed woman at a McDonald's drive thru one day because she was too busy talking on her cell phone to look at the menu and kept telling the register girl to hang on... I sat behind her honking incessantly and told her to shut the fuck up and order her food when she tried to scream at me about honking...it was sweet...
ReplyDeleteYou're very Olympic-ish in this post. Did I miss the Olympics? Am I that drunk?
ReplyDeleteHope the new job is going swimmingly.
Hey, cool blog you got here. I'm a nut case surfer, but l know what I like.
ReplyDeleteHave a good one!