Cookie Cutters

Just don't share them with the kiddies. Unless you want to use them as a learning tool for "the talk."



Found by Bern on some foodie blog.

Yesterday one of my co-workers mentioned that McDonald's was selling shamrock shakes again. Today, we decided it would be cool to go buy some. Now I'm slumped over my desk in toxic shock. Oh ya, I'm not eight years old anymore.

Why Men Don't Take The Pill

I have one thing I have to remember to do each day, take my glucosamine with breakfast and dinner. Pretty simple. In theory. Do you think I can do this with any kind of regularity? I was born with congenital hip dislocation which is usually caught in your first check up straight out of the womb. Usually. Guess the nurses at my delivery were busy doing... something else besides their jobs. I don't know, it was the first year of All My Children, maybe they were talking about that. Anyway, I didn't discover it until about two decades later after wondering why I kept suffering so much ankle/shin/knee/lower back pain when I ran. I need to take the glucosamine to keep my hips happy. To help keep me from being a shrivelled up old man in constant pain. I have good reasons to take these pills.

This is all a round about way of saying that if we relied on me taking birth control pills we'd have 10 kids and live in a trailer park.

Some Days...

Found this last week but can't remember where, oops. It's from a collection of images the photographer has done of stuffed animals turned inside out.

Comments From The Back Seat

I won't be the name of that word!

Huh?

What's In Your Office?

I've found a reason to worm/sleep/work my way up the corporate ladder. So I can have this desk. The Han Solo frozen in carbonite desk.



From One Plus Infinity.

Sigh...

So Liam fell down the stairs. AGAIN. Was he crying because he was hurt? Because he scared the hell out of himself? Or because he broke his Thomas the Train Pocky? I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count.

Food Therapy

Mommy has had a rough week at work so today we gave her a little food therapy. Dim sum! Liam made her proud by eating A LOT of chicken feet.



They both behaved very well and once they got tired of eating Daddy started creating jello sculptures that kept them entertained until the adults were done.



The cubes of jello actually came a lot bigger than this, but after Liam proved he could stuff a piece the size of a hockey puck in his mouth I had to cut them up.

Friday Night, Yee Haa!

Or not. It's 8:56pm, kids are finally in bed and Bern is still at work. And I'm ready to fall asleep. Sigh. Work has been a colossal bitch since.... the beginning of December. I feel like a zombie when I get out of there. And I think I'm developing carpal tunnel to boot. Thanks! You may have noticed an increase in other people's stuff and pictures and less of my own writing lately. Well that's why. By the time I get the kids to bed, sitting in any one spot for more than 10 minutes (especially in front of the computer) leads to heavy eyelids. Motivation and inspiration have been in short supply.

Anyway, that's my excuse. How pathetic is it if I just go to sleep now?

Wait, I have to finish my Happy Meal treats first! Ok, they were the kids Happy Meal treats, but they didn't like them so don't judge. It's the apple slices with caramel dipping sauce. Oooooooh.... If more fruit came with dipping sauce I'd be much more willing to eat them.

Buses And Stuff

Bern's doing a 2pm til 10 shift at the new job so I'll be spending some quality time on public transportation in the short term. Might as well since I'm getting ass-taxed to death to pay for it, but that's another rant. Anyway, here's some random thoughts I punched into my iPod this morning.

-Buses need wi-fi.
-Should not have sat sideways, bleh.
-Dear God who dealt that!?

Ah, the joys. Not much in the way of original posts lately, mostly lifting other people's work. Laziness? Mid-winter lack of inspiration? Near-catatonia from the soul crushing work load I'm under? Maybe a little bit of everything but mostly the last. Whatev's.

And my favourite song of the moment:

Big Freakin Jellyfish

Rembrandt Homer

From limpfish care of kottke.

Being A Father...

...means handing down the important life-lessons, like how to hold your fingers like Spiderman.

Took the kids out to the airport this afternoon. On the way there they were watching Dora or Diego and something about a healing tree. Connor laughs, "there's no such thing as a healing tree!"

But a talking monkey in red boots is totally acceptable?

Mao offered U.S. 10 million women

From CNN:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Amid a discussion of trade in 1973, Chinese leader Mao Zedong made what U.S. Secretary of State Henry Kissinger called a novel proposition: sending tens of thousands, even 10 million, Chinese women to the United States.
"You know, China is a very poor country," Mao said, according to a document released by the State Department's historian office.
"We don't have much. What we have in excess is women. So if you want them we can give a few of those to you, some tens of thousands." A few minutes later, Mao circled back to the offer. "Do you want our Chinese women?" he asked. "We can give you 10 million." After Kissinger noted Mao was "improving his offer," the chairman said, "We have too many women. ... They give birth to children and our children are too many." "It is such a novel proposition," Kissinger replied in his discussion with Mao in Beijing. "We will have to study it."

Super Caterpillar

Connor and Liam were playing in our bed this morning before we left the house. Connor was pretending to be a worm and hiding under the blankets. Liam was a caterpillar. It was time to put Liam's socks on so I told him I was a big bird who liked to eat bugs. Liam's angry response: You can't eat me, I'm a caterpillar superhero!

EVOL

A day late for Valentine's, but what the hell. This is a very short little movie by a guy named Chris Vincze...ya, I could explain, but I'll just paste a quote instead, not so much because I'm lazy but because it's 5:45am and I'm not even finished my first cup of coffee.

"To shoot EVOL, Vincze had his two leads, a mopey man and a sweetly bookish woman in the middle of busy London, perform all of their actions backward. Then he reversed the film in postproduction — showing us a couple who find each other because they’re out of sync with everyone else. The technique fits the film’s story perfectly: It’s magical, unashamedly corny, a little disorienting, and constantly surprising. Which, in our experience, is pretty much like falling in love."

Anyway, just watch it.

Hmm, this has been a spectacularly unpleasant day. A day screaming for a random act of violence. Unfortunately I'm so freaking exhausted I just don't have the energy for it. I'll spit random vehement comments instead. BAH! YOU'RE SHOES DON'T MATCH YOUR OUTFIT!

John McCain Spoof of Obama "Yes We Can" Video

Funny and scary all at the same time

Angry Dragon

The Angry Dragon by Thierry Robberecht, narrated by Connor.


Untitled from Zoo Keeper on Vimeo.

He can't actually read yet, he just memorizes.

Salmon Day

SALMON DAY The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.



From Computer Jokes. Original art by me.

Oil Change

Yes We Can

Very cool music video for Barack Obama

Wet Bug

It's too bad this is the biggest I can make this photo because it's amazing. It's an insect covered in dew. For the original, check out photo.net.



Photographer Martin Ann.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Conversations With Co-workers

One of my co-workers, let's call her Tenderloin, is getting married this year. Right now she's busy looking at some kind of wedding website.

T: What's a 'candle-bra?'
Me: You mean candelabra?

Super Bowl!

Hey! Yesterday was Super Bowl whatever... and a GAZILLION people watched... and... somebody won... by something. Whatever.

When they're going on and on about how many people are watching in how many countries around the world, why don't they say that the overwhelming majority don't give a shit about the football and are just there for the commercials?

Tooth Extraction: 6 - Not for the faint of heart

When we got home, Bern asked me to help put a new piece of gauze on the missing teeth. She pulls the disgusting, blood soaked old one out and I start putting the new one in. Then I notice something hanging from her wound. We assume it's a piece of the old gauze that's just sticking there so we go upstairs to get some tweezers. My brain is already telling me something is wrong here but we soldier on anyway. Then I grab the "gauze." Good thing she was still frozen at that point. So not gauze. Instead it was a big giant piece of flesh hanging from the gaping wound. Bleh! I call the dentist and there like, oh ya, it was a really difficult extraction so the hole was a bit bigger than usual. A bit. Ya. Anyway, they said to keep the gauze in place and it should bind up in the wound by itself.

Anyway, our bedroom has been declared a 'no fly zone' so the boys and I are trying to keep quiet downstairs. I've made two types of Jello so far and am now wondering if PBJ is ok for a child's dinner. There's like... 3 food groups there, it must be.

Tooth Extraction: 5 - Why did I agree to do it?

I'm trying to remember why I thought it would be a good idea to remove the two wisdom teeth left on the left side. My face looks lopsided. My jaw is still aching from holding my mouth open for 1 and a half hours. That's right 1.5 frakkin hours. The dentist thought it would only take an hour, max. My teeth were a bit of a challenge. They couldn't even take all of the bottom tooth out. The top broke off (not a lovely sound, by the way), but the root decided it wanted to stay. They needed 3 x-rays to check the root. They had to break it in half. One half came out, a part of the other half came off, but they decided to leave the rest in. Most of the top tooth came out. There's quite a bit of blood, his assistant told me I might have a tummy ache from all the blood I swallowed. How lovely. He said he wished I had told him how difficult it was for the first two that came out over 10 years ago. Excuse me?! I guess he didn't hear me when I told him when we had the consultation that the first two posed "some" difficulties too, or maybe he wasn't really listening--kinda like how sometimes your husband hears you, but isn't really listening. I remember telling him that and asking him if it could be done in the office. He said sure, shouldn't be a problem. I wish you had told me?!!! F*@k! I decided to let it go, I was just glad the ordeal was over. They told me I would probably have "some" swelling and bruising from all the pulling, pushing and poking around.

Tooth Extraction: 4

12:20pm Sushi with the boys. No sign of Mommy.

Tooth Extraction: 2

11:04am Mommy has been dropped off and the boys and I are off for some male bonding at Home Depot. Maybe a bowl off pho if we have time. It,a crepe day in France. Can I find crepe in Richmond?

Tooth Extraction Day!

9:31am - There's four people in our house and three of them don't have wisdom teeth. Connor and Liam are too young and Daddy had his back molars pulled in grade 7 before starting 4 years of EXTENSIVE orthodontic work. (Ok, so technically I do have my wisdom teeth, but I get to keep mine.) That just leaves MOMMY!!!
Updates to follow.

(It's sunny and it just snowed big fat flakes for, like, 5 minutes. Weird.)

Improv Everywhere

From Improv Everywhere

Origami

One of my co-workers, we'll call her Boom Boom, got an origami desk-top calendar for Christmas and has been making a lot of small shirts. This is the top of my PC.




Thanks, Mei-Mei