Are They Ever Going To Have Sex?

Why did I ever pick up this freakin' book?




For the sci-fi Friday fans, here's an oldie I dug out of the back room.

pic via little brown book

And The Heaven's Parted...

Supreme Leader was just digging apart the fridge looking for some salmon she swears she bought and found a bottle of Smirnov Ice we didn't realize we had. Is it wrong that we both feel so very VERY happy about this?

Oh, and she wasn't crazy. The salmon was put in the freezer by accident.

Thursday: Get Ready To Throw Your Panties

Buuuuuurp!

Ok, that whole starting to eat better now that it's September thing... still down with that. Really. But she made roast pork and yorkshire* pudding tonight. That pork came apart like butter. No, no... like BUTTA.' You hear what I'm saying? And yorkshire puddings. Oh... my stomach had an orgasm. I didn't eat 'til I was full, I ate 'til it hurt.

* To my friends outside of Canada or the UK, a yorkshire pudding is not a popover. I don't know what the fuck a popover is but I hear you eat it with jam or something. Yorkies are eaten with meat, the more the merrier. And gravy. Thick and brown. And if you're man enough, spread a little butter on it first.

Peace out, fatties.

Sorry, domesticity is kicking my ass this morning. How about some pretty pictures?


Philip Gatward

John Manno

First Day Of School: Shock & Awe

Dear Connor, today is your first day of school. You don't know it yet, but your carefree life is about to change in a hurry. Gone are the days of lazing about the house, wandering from the Wii to the computer to whatever toy holds your fancy today and back to the tv for the latest Pixar fave. You're entering the real world now. Peer pressure, bullies, ADHD and prescription meds... girls. Academia is full of some crazy motherfuckers, son, and you need to be prepared. Sure I could have spent this weekend throwing cash around on new clothes and shoes and all the other back to school crap, but instead I made you something with my own two hands. Something you can really use, something that could save your life. Now I'm not suggesting you shank anybody before you even get to grade one, but the shit ever hits the fan, you know daddy's still got your back. You wave your little Piglet shiv around to the right people, let them know who's who. This ain't pre-school, hon, this is kindergarten. You're in the big leagues now. Make me proud.

Celebrating Labour Day By Doing None

September! Glory Be and Hallelujah! The new tv season is upon us, it's like Christmas without the snow. Not that we get snow here at Christmas, but you know what I mean. And both the kids start school this month, kindergarten and pre-school, meaning both of them will be in bed before 8pm so as not to interfere with mom and dad's tv viewing. I mean... so they'll wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to absorb and learn. What? Don't judge me.

I had intended to jump into this post with a weigh in and some gobbledygook about (wow, I just pulled that out of my ass, so to speak, and spell check let it go?) how it's September first and how I'm going to change my diet and start exercising again and yadda yadda yadda, but when I got on the scale it said I only weigh 181 pounds. WTF? That's great Chad, but you're only 5'1. No I'm not, I'm 6'2. I thought I was WAY over that. Too hell with the new diet, I'm gonna fry me up a bacon double cheese burger on donuts for breakfast. And I've already had breakfast! Woot!

Ok, not really. I may be a lot lighter than I thought, but I know I'm not healthy by a long shot. So, it's September 1st and I AM going to change my diet and I AM going to start exercising again. I've got a lot of spare time for this now so I don't have any of my usual sad ass excuses. More about the spare time on... let's say Wednesday.

So what are you doing for your holiday Monday? Supreme Leader has to work today, sad I know, but she's making double time today so... miss you, hon! Kiss kiss! The boys and I will be doing... um... ya, about that much. Though I suppose somebody has to cut the wheat field out front and it wouldn't really be safe to have the boys do it. Although, if I combine their age they're like eight, and... what? Eight is too young?

We did the family thing yesterday and took the boys to their favourite place in the world, Vancouver International Airport.



I know the picture's a little dark but it still looks cool. And now, since wifey will be reading this at work and expecting it, SURE WISH I HAD A DIGITAL SLR CAUSE DAMN THIS PICTURE WOULD LOOK SO MUCH BETTER WITH A BETTER CAMERA. Joking, joking. There's a good reason why I can't have a digital SLR, it's about the size of my back. (Another future post) But it's become one of those marriage in-jokes, so I'm obliged. Speaking of SLR's, last week I thought I'd check out renting an SLR for a day just to try it and blah blah blah, who cares. It's just a lead in to ask if you've ever heard of a Hasselblad? If not, it's a camera. What kind of camera? The one at the shop I was looking at cost $650 a day to rent! It's a 39 megapixal. Thirty-nine!? I can't even imagine that. I think you can take close-ups of particles with 39 megapixals.

I know, I know, totally off the rails now. Whatever, this is my show. On a programming note, if my posts should suddenly disappear it's because I have thrown my computer through the patio window and into the back yard. In the last week it has started running like it's full of corn syrup and I don't know why. I'm thinking it all started when I hooked up the external hard drive but I'm not sure why that would be. I always think it's because I have a lot of pictures in iPhoto, but I have a nice fat hard drive and enough RAM to run the Space Shuttle so what gives? Any ideas? Help a brother out.