And not that I don't appreciate your comments, but I've turned mine off so you can wish her a happy birthday instead. Not that you should feel obliged to, or that a flock of My Little Ponies might bomb your house with rainbow coloured poo if you don't. I'm just sayin if you wanted to that would be nice.
Now, before I bid you adieu for the weekend, I wanted to let you know about a little project that Middle Aged Woman and I cooked up after a handful of barely comprehensible emails were exchanged Wednesday night. That morning the two of us did a book review of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies which we both had a lot of fun doing. Not only did we discover a great book, but we also discovered our shared love of professional hockey, scrap booking and reanimated corpses. Well before we knew it we had ourselves a brand new blog, the Zombie News Network. It's still fresh out of the box and not entirely assembled, but MAW has a zombified news report up and I've got a little somethin somethin as well. Drop by sometime this weekend and check us out. We promise not to bite.
I know we all have our own policies when it comes to noticing somebody hasn't done up his fly, but when you know a brother is about to go in for an interview, at least give him a nod.
Dear Sharpie, do you make metallic gold? Unfortunately they don't. I went to their site to check and got distracted by all the Sharpie goodness.
My youngest, Liam, was lying on the floor playing Wii and sniffling yesterday. I asked him if he wants a kleenex and he says no and wipes his face on the carpet.
Speaking of Wii:
Up to four players and a demo mode where if you get stuck you can let the game play itself until you're ready to jump in again.
Dear Lego, wtf? Why don't you sell ALL of your products here? You hurt my heart.
I was in the washroom at my in-laws the other day and the TV came on super loud. My FIL usually has the tv up pretty high, but this was ridiculous since it sounded like it was in the bathroom. I go to the living room and the tv wasn't even on. It was the neighbours. The neighbours. They're not old or hearing impaired either. Why the hell would you have it up so loud?
Now that I finally have that written down I'm wondering if maybe it was meant to be that loud to cover something up. Maybe we'll skip Sunday dinner this time around.
For all of my Twilight loving readers:
I got this from my friend Jodi at Jodiferous. I call Jodi a friend even though we've never actually met, but we live in the same city. Ok, we don't actually live in the same city, but they're connected. Ok, they're not actually connected but if I drove to the opposite side of my city I could see her's across the river. Then again, if you took all the water out of the river, they're still connected, so she's my friend.
Dear Connor, remember the other night when I decided to play Grand Theft Auto because I hadn't in so long and the first car I jacked belonged to a couple of bangers and I had to bust a cap in 'em and my character made some inappropriate comments towards them in relation to their mothers and you were actually watching the whole time and I didn't know it? Let's keep that to ourselves, huh? Heh heh.
Supreme Leader overheard Connor and Liam talking about their favourite Star Wars characters. Liam chose General Grievous.
A swirling whirlwind of fury? Ya, that works.
Dear Weather Network, your 'Bug Report' section where it says mosquitoes aren't common to my city? Apparently mosquitoes don't read your website.
Ok, that's enough. Go check out Kat's blog for more So & So fun. I'd say go to Keely's too, but that ship has set sail. Still, she probably has something funny going on. Stop by and tell her that Vancouver loves her and that it's sunny and beautiful now if she wants to come back.
Uh, this is only your second post this week. What gives?
Me: Uh, like, this is my blog and I'll post when I want. Why didn't you post?
Dear Me: Well, I did write two guest posts this week.
Me: Ya, did that all by yourself, did you?
Dear Me: Whatever. How's that Wii game you rented that you've been playing non-stop?
Me: Bite it. And speaking of guest blogs, you've only done one of them.
Dear Me: I know what I'm going to do for it now. I just have to type it up.
Me: Uh huh. In between playing that game, finishing this post and trying to watch a movie tonight?
Dear Me: Blow me! It's not going to take that long and besides, I don't need to send it to her until tomorrow.
Me: *laughing* Oh ya, heard that before.
Dear Me: What?
Me: Just means you'll be up past midnight trying to pull something together and then you'll go to bed and be pissed that you didn't get any writing done and that you're too tired to read.
Dear Me: *finger*
Me: Ya ya, that's it. Just walk away, princess! You're such a baby sometimes!
Dear Me: *muffled shout*
Me: Sorry, can't hear you, little girl! What a pansy-ass. I'm outta here.
I had plans tonight. Once I got the kids to bed I was going to grab my moleskine and my newest book and go sit out under the gazebo and enjoy the evening with a glass of wine. Or two. Ish. But first I had to get the youngest to bed first because they're still sleeping in their box and can't go in at the same time or they'll never go to sleep. Oldest and I started watching A Year In The Life of JK Rowling. Youngest went out pretty quick so Oldest went down right away, but now I was into the show. Then it ends but I'm in that catatonic state where mind and remote are one. Once I pulled myself out of that it was too dark to go outside and read or write so then I planted my ass in front of the computer where I had absolutely no inspiration to write anything at all. Then I found this dinosaur picture.
I still don't have any inspiration, but I do have a cool picture.
I'm not even doing this right.
Dear Wife,
Thank you for having patience where I have none. And for having crazy dreams that wake you up in the middle of the night so you have nothing better to do than sit at the computer trying to figure out how to retrieve all of our photos from the back up drive that wouldn't let them go. Your hard work and ability not to hit things that don't work are inspiring.
Go to Kat's, grab a button and let it all out. There, now doesn't that feel better?
Dear Kat,
I was just about to go to bed when something clicked in my brain and put the three Dear So & So posts I just read and the fact that tomorrow is in fact Friday and not whatever make believe day I thought it was together and damn, let's see what I can shake loose from this 25 pound coconut that sits on my shoulders and can you believe how Dostoevsky-damn long this sentence is now?
Scattered
Dear Supreme Leader,
Remember yesterday how we looked all over the house for your keys and couldn't find them anywhere and even grilled the kids and looked in the freezer because where the hell could they have gone and then you found them this morning in Connor's booster seat in the van where I'd left them when I was looking for something and in hindsight left the van unlocked all night? Heh. That was funny, wasn't it.
Kisses, Hubby
Dear Highway Driving Idiots Who Stop Because They See A Police Car On The Side Of The Road,
DIE! Seriously, do you honestly think that cop is going to drop what he's doing, jump in his car and chase you down because you might be speeding as well? Really? You're on a freaking highway! My Man-van was never meant to drop from 120 kph to 0 in that time frame. If I had crashed I would have taken you out with my dying breath.
Have a nice day.
Dear Local Radio Station,
Yes, the King of Pop died and that's sad, but this wasn't the moon landing or the Kennedy assassination. This will not be a watershed moment in my life. Sorry.
Cold-hearted
Dear Readers Who Expected To See A Picture Of My Little Baboon Today,
Meh. He was up at Kat's yesterday so we're taking the day off. If you missed it yesterday, go follow the same link as above. Don't worry, he'll be back. We've got lots of cardboard.
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