Friday, July 3, 2009

The End Of The Road & Dear So and So


Sigh. My year off is almost done and I'm starting to feel the pressure.



Dear So and So...


Dear Boys,
When daddy dresses all of us in camouflage shorts without realizing it, please say something before he takes us to the mall.

Fashionista

Dear Grocery Stores,
Screw you, dietary Nazis, where's my real butter crackers? Stick your whole wheat, maybe I want to be fat.

I Can't Believe It Doesn't Have Butter On It

Dear House,
Could everything please not break at once?

Broke

Dear Home Depot Associate,
Just because I don't have breasts doesn't mean I don't need help too.

My Eyes Are Up Here


Kat's got the buttons, go grab one.

37 comments:

  1. Oh, has the creativity, but also is very feels sad.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Awww, you seem so down. I hear the prospect of a job does that to people. Stupid jobs.
    BTW, the image of you and your boys in camo shorts is awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Awww I bet ya'll looked cute being all matchy matchy ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. "When daddy dresses all of us in camouflage shorts without realizing it, please say something before he takes us to the mall."

    Classic. I bet you've been taking them all down in matching outfits for a while huh? I may see if I can take mine (when I have more than one) down in matching duck costumes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear Home Depot Associate,

    Just because I do have breasts does not mean I do need help. Stop following me throughout the store.

    Yes, I can feel you staring at my ass

    ReplyDelete
  6. I really need to borrow your son for telling people to do things. He always looks either so don't mess with me or so utterly adorable that I don't see how anyone could refuse him.

    ReplyDelete
  7. He still has a little of that Scarface thing going on...better listen to him.

    I grok your pain, man, re: the job. sigh. Hey, here's a little pick-me-up: A Little Help From My Friends Who Just Happen To Be Musicians! Dig it!

    Hey...wait, you don't have breasts? I'm so disappointed...sniff...

    ReplyDelete
  8. These are all fantastic, especially the Home Depot Associate one!

    Feel your pain about the job and the house.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I just got all distracted by skywind's comment. Is that some kinda code in Canada?? What does that mean?!?!!

    Is it now my turn to have a year off!?!? Because that would be waay cool.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You're hilarious, and sad, and honest simultaneously-- that's very balanced of you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yes, the breasts are a great tool for getting all that you need at Home Depot. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Maybe you should all wear your camo gear to the grocery store armed with squirt guns and demand BUTTER crackers!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I wish we had a picture of you all in camo! That one cracked me up!

    ReplyDelete
  14. ok, so the Springer invite wasn't about man-boobs....the mystery deepens....

    ReplyDelete
  15. Re: the jobby wobby

    I hope that doesn't stop you from posting often. Getting to know you through your blog has been fun and very entertaining.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Love the pic! I almost bought the exact same shoes that both my kids have (they are into skater shoes right now) didn't want you thinking I was buying a pair of velcro light up shoes.....

    ReplyDelete
  17. Did you check out my fireworks pics?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dear Dumbass,

    You are funny! Just saying. . .

    ReplyDelete
  19. Your year's almost up? Have you thought about selling Avon? I hear it can be a very rewarding career.

    I can totally believe it's not butter. Who do they think they're fooling with that shit?

    You know, some people dress like their kids on purpose. Not me, though. I would never do that.

    ReplyDelete
  20. My apartment is very modern. It's obviously wired into my bank account. When I work overtime and make some extra money, it sends an automated signal for a major appliance to break or for yet another doctor's bill to arrive in the mail. For example, I just got a new bill from my hospitalization three months ago that just wiped out the last two weeks of O/T. Any room left in Canada?

    ReplyDelete
  21. It's like you're in Junior High and matching with your BFFs! So cute!!

    Maybe your moobs are sexy to him!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Nobody on the west coast works a real job anyway, do they? They just 'network' and 'collaborate on projects' and 'consult'?

    Tell me why I don't live there anymore?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Amen on the house items. When it rains, it pours, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  24. effin jobs! they just get in the way of everything. BAH!

    ReplyDelete
  25. stopping by from Kat's to read your so and so's.....house drama indeed does suck!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I love the letter to the HD associate. You always crack me up! And if you get a real job and stop blogging, I will cry, a lot, for real. So don't.

    ReplyDelete
  27. that photo? i'm not worthy!

    great post mister man. diggin it!

    ReplyDelete
  28. It would appear that your house and my house have been talking and are in-cahoots. Damn house. How am I supposed to afford all the new shoes I want?

    ReplyDelete
  29. I am so sorry you have to get a job. I know you'll miss being a SAHD.
    But, how do you get your son to pose for you like that? He's amazing!
    But your Dear So&Sos just crack me up!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Good luck finding a job. Its tough out there.

    Also, the girls and I subconsciously dress the same. We all dress ourselves in DIFFERENT ROOMS, without speaking to each other...

    ReplyDelete
  31. All of your letters were so cute. I loved the Home Depot one. lol Your little boys face is priceless too.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sounds rather Rambo Martha.
    How sweet - Kapow!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Awwww - I bet you guys all looked soo cute! Is it wrong that even when the Home Depot people help me I don't know what the hell they are saying? It's like a foreign language! I'm not an architect. lol - just really not smart. I should have been blonde.

    ReplyDelete

Come on, sailor. I love you long time.