Sigh. My year off is almost done and I'm starting to feel the pressure.
Dear Boys,
When daddy dresses all of us in camouflage shorts without realizing it, please say something before he takes us to the mall.
Fashionista
Dear Grocery Stores,
Screw you, dietary Nazis, where's my real butter crackers? Stick your whole wheat, maybe I want to be fat.
I Can't Believe It Doesn't Have Butter On It
Dear House,
Could everything please not break at once?
Broke
Dear Home Depot Associate,
Just because I don't have breasts doesn't mean I don't need help too.
My Eyes Are Up Here
Kat's got the buttons, go grab one.
Posts
Oh, has the creativity, but also is very feels sad.
ReplyDeleteAwww, you seem so down. I hear the prospect of a job does that to people. Stupid jobs.
ReplyDeleteBTW, the image of you and your boys in camo shorts is awesome.
Awww I bet ya'll looked cute being all matchy matchy ;)
ReplyDelete"When daddy dresses all of us in camouflage shorts without realizing it, please say something before he takes us to the mall."
ReplyDeleteClassic. I bet you've been taking them all down in matching outfits for a while huh? I may see if I can take mine (when I have more than one) down in matching duck costumes.
Dear Home Depot Associate,
ReplyDeleteJust because I do have breasts does not mean I do need help. Stop following me throughout the store.
Yes, I can feel you staring at my ass
I really need to borrow your son for telling people to do things. He always looks either so don't mess with me or so utterly adorable that I don't see how anyone could refuse him.
ReplyDeleteHe still has a little of that Scarface thing going on...better listen to him.
ReplyDeleteI grok your pain, man, re: the job. sigh. Hey, here's a little pick-me-up: A Little Help From My Friends Who Just Happen To Be Musicians! Dig it!
Hey...wait, you don't have breasts? I'm so disappointed...sniff...
These are all fantastic, especially the Home Depot Associate one!
ReplyDeleteFeel your pain about the job and the house.
I just got all distracted by skywind's comment. Is that some kinda code in Canada?? What does that mean?!?!!
ReplyDeleteIs it now my turn to have a year off!?!? Because that would be waay cool.
You're hilarious, and sad, and honest simultaneously-- that's very balanced of you.
ReplyDeleteYes, the breasts are a great tool for getting all that you need at Home Depot. ;)
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should all wear your camo gear to the grocery store armed with squirt guns and demand BUTTER crackers!
ReplyDeleteI wish we had a picture of you all in camo! That one cracked me up!
ReplyDeleteok, so the Springer invite wasn't about man-boobs....the mystery deepens....
ReplyDeleteRe: the jobby wobby
ReplyDeleteI hope that doesn't stop you from posting often. Getting to know you through your blog has been fun and very entertaining.
Love the pic! I almost bought the exact same shoes that both my kids have (they are into skater shoes right now) didn't want you thinking I was buying a pair of velcro light up shoes.....
ReplyDeleteDid you check out my fireworks pics?
ReplyDeleteDear Dumbass,
ReplyDeleteYou are funny! Just saying. . .
Your year's almost up? Have you thought about selling Avon? I hear it can be a very rewarding career.
ReplyDeleteI can totally believe it's not butter. Who do they think they're fooling with that shit?
You know, some people dress like their kids on purpose. Not me, though. I would never do that.
My apartment is very modern. It's obviously wired into my bank account. When I work overtime and make some extra money, it sends an automated signal for a major appliance to break or for yet another doctor's bill to arrive in the mail. For example, I just got a new bill from my hospitalization three months ago that just wiped out the last two weeks of O/T. Any room left in Canada?
ReplyDeleteIt's like you're in Junior High and matching with your BFFs! So cute!!
ReplyDeleteMaybe your moobs are sexy to him!
Job. Yuck. Job.
ReplyDeleteNobody on the west coast works a real job anyway, do they? They just 'network' and 'collaborate on projects' and 'consult'?
ReplyDeleteTell me why I don't live there anymore?
Amen on the house items. When it rains, it pours, eh?
ReplyDeleteeffin jobs! they just get in the way of everything. BAH!
ReplyDeletestopping by from Kat's to read your so and so's.....house drama indeed does suck!
ReplyDeleteYou could pretend to have breasts....
ReplyDeleteI love the letter to the HD associate. You always crack me up! And if you get a real job and stop blogging, I will cry, a lot, for real. So don't.
ReplyDeletethat photo? i'm not worthy!
ReplyDeletegreat post mister man. diggin it!
It would appear that your house and my house have been talking and are in-cahoots. Damn house. How am I supposed to afford all the new shoes I want?
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you have to get a job. I know you'll miss being a SAHD.
ReplyDeleteBut, how do you get your son to pose for you like that? He's amazing!
But your Dear So&Sos just crack me up!
what, no Dear Claratin??
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteGood luck finding a job. Its tough out there.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the girls and I subconsciously dress the same. We all dress ourselves in DIFFERENT ROOMS, without speaking to each other...
All of your letters were so cute. I loved the Home Depot one. lol Your little boys face is priceless too.
ReplyDeleteSounds rather Rambo Martha.
ReplyDeleteHow sweet - Kapow!
Awwww - I bet you guys all looked soo cute! Is it wrong that even when the Home Depot people help me I don't know what the hell they are saying? It's like a foreign language! I'm not an architect. lol - just really not smart. I should have been blonde.
ReplyDelete