Monday, July 13, 2009

The Bitch Is Back

And it's a damn good thing. All that time away from the computer had me productive and acting like a responsible parent. Thanks to Ineptitude Is Us jackass useless wtf-am-I-paying-you-for computer store we were without for two weeks. TWO WEEKS! It was like being back in the stone age or something. I felt like Laura Ingalls minus the flowery dress and that bitch Nellie. And being the middle of summer I didn't even have TV to fall back on. WTH? It's all Amazing Dancing Race with my Biggest Loser Brother: Guantanamo Bay.

Seriously. My house hasn't been this clean in... forever. My yard work is done. Like done done. Aside from cutting the lawn there's nothing left to do. I read books, and I wrote a lot. I "built" a gazebo and furniture. I finished stripping the wallpaper in my bedroom and can start painting now. It was terrible. Thank goodness my Mac is back and I can go back to ignoring everything.

Here's a pic of the kids inside the gazebo torturing the fish.


They love the new "tent," but not as much as they love their new bedroom the "tent" came in.


Sadly, while my computer is back and squeaky fast again, my evil back up hard drive will not let go of my saved stuff. Dear Bastard hard drive, can I pretty please with sugar on top have my iTunes and 3000 photos back? I know it's still there, I can see all the used up space. Please? Pleeeeeeeease?

55 comments:

  1. I've got a flowery print dress that I don't wear which you can have, if you like...

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  2. I mean, y'know, just for wearing around the house. Mood-enhancer, kinda thing....

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  3. "Thank goodness my Mac is back and I can go back to ignoring everything."

    Oh my God this made me lauuugh. I hate to admit to myself how true this is

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  4. Dude... the mac being gone? NEVER can happen AGAIN! You did yard work? WTF? And stripped WALLPAPER? Wussy bastard! (you know you missed my abuse!) Built furniture and a gazebo? Who the Hell do you think you are? Bob-effing-Vila???? (more like Tim Taylor!) And obviously it isn't working for you because your kids... still living in that cardboard box the teachers always told you you'd live in!

    In other words, welcome back, we missed you, kind sir.

    Now don't ever EFFING leave us AGAIN! DO YOU HEAR ME?????

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  5. "that bitch Nellie"-- hahahahahaha, you totally have me cracking up.

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  6. Oh boy, did I miss you. Your whole blog had me laughing. Do you write comedy for a living? You should. From The bitch is back, to "I feel like Laura Ingalls minus the flowery dress and that bitch Nellie," to pleading with your hard drive, I was laughing.
    Now I'm taking away your computer. The only way you can get it back is to come to my house, cook, redocrate, build a screen house, garden and paint my whole house.
    Deal? J/K!

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  7. It really sucks when upkeep around the house has to be done, especially when your blog has to suffer! LOL! Computers suck, in some ways! HAHA!

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  8. you could make up for lost time with 2 posts a day the rest of the week...

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  9. did you get the cookies baked too? you pa said you had to.

    love,

    nellie

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  10. Welcome back, Laura! Maybe a little dinner, a little dancing and that hard drive will open right up :)

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  11. I had a harddrive go screwy once. After trying all sorts of proper data-rescue techniques I realised it now only understood German.

    "Bitte, bitte, bitte!" I pleaded. And it worked.

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  12. Now THAT is a tent! lol Nice!

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  13. It won't open until you do the chicken dance wearing the antlers and the thong. Please post photos.

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  14. I just startle my kids by laughing so loud at "that bitch Nellie." I told them Captain Dumbass made me laugh and now they've got the giggles, too.

    I hope you feel good about yourself.... you're back for a day and already corrupting the youth of the Heartland. Nice.

    p.s. I LOVE The photo of the kids in the box!!! My kids are exactly the same.

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  15. P.S. WOW!!! I can't believe how much you got done!

    P.P.S. Actually, I guess I can. That's why I had to step away from my computer for a few weeks last month.... Amazing how much time we pour into these little electric boxes, no?

    AND Get your hard drive to a professional!!! That scares me to just read about. *shudder*

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  16. Cardboard tent! That's what my bedroom needs.

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  17. Sounds like domestic bliss, from the completed yard to the cardboard box!

    I don't like to talk about the computer while it's listening. Bad Karma.

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  18. Holy crappers, the same thing happened to my Mac a few months ago. Hard drive crashed and I lost EVERYTHING! Pix and iTunes were gone, gone, gone. For good. I can't tell you how much it sucked.
    So what the eff did they do for two weeks if the damn thing is holding them hostage?
    Welcome back, btw!

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  19. Aww man I hate it when hard drives crap out. Mine took all of my daughters baby pics. Good thing I saved them all to cd.

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  20. Box forts were one of my greatest childhood joys.

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  21. Yeah, my kid definitely loves the boxes more than the toys. Next time I won't waste my money and just dig in the dumpster.

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  22. I am so jealous of your new gazebo-tent. And, it's about time someone called Nellie out on her shit.

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  23. Well, calling the Mac a bitch certainly isn't helping things..

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  24. Ohhhhh I love the tent!! Think we need to get one of those...but then the cats would just take it over...

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  25. damn, I know you've carried a grudge for years over that pretty
    pink dress I made u give up!

    I'm not sure if begging will get your pictures back, but try it anyways, you could always ask
    Big Red, he lost them and got them back many a time.

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  26. You're funny. I need my computer to break. I'm behind on my wifely-manly duties around the house. I'm too easily distracted...

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  27. I love how the TV remote is sitting on top of their tent. Improvisation at its best.

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  28. Glad you got your computer back. If mine crashed like that, I'd have to run out and buy a new one to tide me over until it could be fixed. You showed amazing restraint.

    Pic of the kids sleeping in the box is too adorable for words!

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  29. I miss my kids wanting to play in refrigerator sized boxes.

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  30. Glad you are back! And I love the kids new room.

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  31. Isn't that just proof the kids would be 'happy' if you lived in a shantytown?

    Glad you are back.

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  32. Can I move in? That looks comfortable.

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  33. Technology is just mean. It pulls you in and then drops you like a fungus. Or some other thing that gets dropped.

    And I love that the boys are just barely holding hands while sleeping in the box.

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  34. I got my new laptop today. I ran out to meet the UPS man and gave him a big kiss. Unfortunately my old computer is so shitty that it keeps crashing every time I try to transfer files. It is a bittersweet day.

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  35. I got my new laptop today. I ran out to meet the UPS man and gave him a big kiss. Unfortunately my old computer is so shitty that it keeps crashing every time I try to transfer files. It is a bittersweet day.

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  36. LOL .... that's all you're getting from me!!

    And to the other commenters - LOL to you too!

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  37. wow, thank goodness you have her back. Life just can't go on like that, you know?

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  38. So you're training your children for their future of homelessness??

    Hmmm...canada IS different than I thought it was gonna be.

    Snaps for the Laura Ingalls reference. I think that is extra credit!

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  39. ROFL @ Michael: "Training your kids for their future homelessness" That's funny right there.

    But yeah I'm with you. I go through withdrawals just THINKING about being without my computer. *shudder*

    And what's up with the back up not giving up the goods?? What good is a back up if it backs up but refuses to let go?? Stoopid thing.

    Funny post!

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  40. What's even funnier? Is that you know enough about the Little House on the Prairie show to know about that bitch Nellie. LOL I didn't know boys watched that show!

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  41. When I saw the title I thought perhaps my daughter came over for a visit.


    yeah.

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  42. or perhaps you were talking about BRAJA!!



    ha
    ha

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  43. Okay, okay - box picture? Totally adorable.

    Welcome back, Laura! I think your dress is adorable.

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  44. Be careful with all those dress references... I'm totally making dresses these days and selling 'em on my own blog! You might not get one for the boy, but you might get one for you!!!!

    If anyone wants to send me enough fabric to make the Captain a dress... I TOTALLY will.

    I'm not drunk... Ignore all those tweets... I'm lying.... or not.

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  45. I'm so disappointed! What do you mean NO TV to fall back on? Don't you read my blog? I name at LEAST 2 television shows a night that are TOTALLY AWESOME and AREN'T reality shows, sheesh!!!!

    I'm totally giving you the hand right now! HAH! Take that!

    Excellent kid pics BTW!

    good luck and blessings with the back up harddrive. OOOH how frustrating!

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  46. I totally forgot about Nellie! She was a total bitch. She would piss me off every frickn' Sunday.

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  47. Glad you got the 'puter back. Love the pic of the kids in teh gazebo. It looks awesome!

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  48. Your boys and my boys would get along great! Except one of my boys would try eating the box instead of sleeping in it.

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  49. hey thanks for coming by. Your site proves to be UNpredictable ~ and that is wonderful.
    love, love, love your pics and state of mind

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  50. Yes! The box is always better.

    I cannot imagine life without my computer or the internet. The thought just makes me shake all over.

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  51. People can deny it as much as they want, but kids are like animals-especially mine! When we saved/adopted Josie the cat last Fall (my first as I'm usually deathly allergic, but freakishly not to her) my in-laws came from the States (they are freakish cat people, as in they have 5 not look like them!) brought all kinds of cat toys...except for the pop up house that she loves & some fish-pole bell thingy, everything else is a waste...a box on a smaller scale from your boys' & a paper bag get her kitty mojo going! Well, gotta love the cost savings! :p

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  52. Loooooove the box bed! I loved boxes when I was a kid (still do), and I think it's cool that you let them be kids and sleep in their box!

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  53. Love the kids sleeping in a box. So cute!

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  54. so weird how kids have obsessions w cardboard boxes...but i say whatever works, right? lol

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Come on, sailor. I love you long time.