"You want some, it's right here!"
"Say the word, beeotch, say the word."
Me: Hey hey hey! Stand down, boys, all of you!
Rebel Scouts: Imperial Stormtroopers, sir, we've been holding them until you arrived.
Stormtroopers: Hold this, candy-ass!
Me: I said knock it off! That's an order! Listen, guys, I invited them in-
Rebels: What!? How could you? Wha-
Me: Hear me out, boys. I know this is a bit of a shock, but we're all going to be working together, ok? This is a big office, plenty of room for all of you. You guys have been doing great, but we need a little more help around here. I know they're technically the enemy, but I'm going to have to ask you to work with me on this. Ok?
Rebels: Yes, sir.
Me: Alright. Now how about you guys go check if my coffee is ready.
Scout: Captain? You know I'd never doubt your intentions, sir, but there were rumours last time, and now this? What are we supposed to think?
Me: I appreciate your candor, soldier, but you have to trust me to make the big decisions. Now, my coffee.
Stormtroopers: Thanks for bringing us in, sir.
Me: No problem. I've been looking for you guys for a long time now.
ST: We're here now, sorry you've had to put up with the little Rebel Barbies.
Me: They're not so bad once you get to know them, they're just lacking a little in the organizational skills. Things are getting busy around here. I'm going to be counting on you guys.
ST: We've got your back, sir, even though it's roughly the size of a Star Destroyer to us.
Me: I've got complete confidence in you. Now, things have been drifting this week with all the work around the house I've been doing. Your first thoughts?
ST: Well, first off, we noticed the angle of your pictures show your new calendar from Green Chair Press. You might want to give them a plug, sir.
Me: Done. Good catch. I love their stuff. And now I actually have an office to use them in.
ST: Second, about this book meme for Pope Heinous? We understand this was supposed to be up today.
Me: Ya... that's proving to be a lot bigger post than I had planned. I'm thinking of breaking the post down into smaller sections and then posting them every few days or once a week or something.
ST: Why don't we try the once a week angle. You still have a guest post due and we think it would be best to get working on that as soon as possible. You left your last guest post until the last moment, and honestly sir, it wasn't your best.
Me: You're right. I told Kat I'd give her a make up post for that one. Ok. Excellent first day, boys. I think this is going to work out well.
ST Pilot: Sir, just wanted to let you know, you have any problems with another toy, a neighbour, house hold appliance or whatever, I'm your...well, small plastic figurine. I can make your problems disappear, sir. Clean or dirty. No questions asked.
Me: I think we're going to get along well.