Tastes Like Chicken

The other night we were having chicken wings for dinner. Connor and Liam were pretending they were eating dinosaurs instead of chicken when Liam decides to throw some variety into the game.

Connor: I'm eating a pteranodon.
Liam: I'm eating an airplane.
Connor: You can't eat an airplane.
Liam: No, the guy who flies it.

He's a bucket load of cute, but I'm having trouble sleeping now.

PS. Yes, he's eating ice cream in this picture but I didn't have any of him eating a make believe human part.

"Book 'em, Danno..."

I'm in Hawaii today at Pseudonymous High School Teacher's eating people and enjoying the beach. Ok, I'm not really in Hawaii, but oh, if only I was...

Come over and see the tasty carnage.

Honey, What's For Dinner?

I walked into the kitchen the other night and became concerned that Supreme Leader had converted us to cannibalism again. Or, she'd gone all zombie Julia Child.


Turns out it was just a watermelon and not a brain.


Heh, did I say 'cannibalism again?' I just meant cannibalism. Silly me.

What Would You Do?

"Dude, seriously, just like chicken."

Sunday Morning Cannibalism

It still amazes me how fast you can switch from dead sleep to wide awake and ready to face anything the minute one of your children cries out in their sleep. Granted, some nights I'm stumbling down the hall like a zombie with a belly full of brains, but most times, like last night, instantly awake and ready to combat a night mare, leaking diaper or the forces of evil. Fire! Flood! Famine! Well, fire and flood anyway. Famine? That's a little tougher, but my little monkey's need to eat. We crash land in some remote area and there's no food? Watch your ass, cabron, cause I'll hack it off and eat in a heartbeat if I have to. Your heartbeat. And I'll eat your heart too if need be. I'm just sayin'...

Have a nice Sunday.

Illnesses Whose Victims May Not Be Safely Eaten

Courtesy of Timothy McSweeney

1. Rabies

2. Chickenpox

3. Leukemia

4. Tuberculosis

5. The common cold

6. Hodgkin's disease

7. Hepatitis*

8. Leprosy

9. Crohn's disease**

10. Mono (aka mononucleosis, the Epstein-Barr virus, the kissing disease)

11. AIDS

12. Influenza

13. Malaria***

14. Herpes (genital or oral)

15. SARS



Illnesses Whose Victims
May Be Safely Eaten

1. Color blindness

2. Tourette's syndrome

3. Alzheimer's disease

4. Breast, thyroid, liver, and prostate cancers****

5. Asthma

6. HIV

7. Cholera*****

8. Chlamydia*****

9. Syphilis*****

10. Diphtheria*****

11. Muscular dystrophy

12. Tinnitus

13. Type 2 diabetes

14. Parkinson's disease

15. Homesickness

- - - -

* It may be safe to consume a victim of hepatitis if you carefully avoid the liver.

** At one time, it was believed that Crohn's disease was a genetic disorder and thus its victims were safe to devour. Recent studies, however, suggest that Crohn's is an infectious environmental bacteria, linked to Johne's disease, which infects ruminants. If this is correct, victims of Crohn's may not be safely consumed.

*** It may be safe to consume a victim of malaria if the blood is drained and the liver is avoided.

**** Victims may not be consumed if cancer was induced by hepatitis virus.

***** Slight chance that these diseases would infect through the mouth/esophagus mucosa before they could be destroyed by the acidity of the stomach. Thus, their victims could not be said to be "safe."