Crocuses. Pretty, right? Except that the WINTER Olympics are only ten days away. Oops.
Cypress Mountain, which is just north of Vancouver and is hosting free style skiing and snowboarding only had patches of snow left last week. They're trucking snow from the other side of the mountain and then pushing it up the hill with snow cats so they'll have a base for the snowmaking machines to work with. There had been talk of using helicopters to ship the snow in if they had too. I'm sure that won't affect my taxes next year.
Whatever, I love the Olympics and the fact that they're happening right here in my own city? Sweeeeeeet. Not that you'd know that it was happening in my city since it's not being called the Vancouver/Whistler/Richmond 2010 Olympics, but whatever, we have the speed skating oval, and more importantly, Holland House. Every Olympic games since Barcelona in '92, the Dutch Olympic Committee and Heineken have sponsored Holland House, a home away from home for Dutch athletes, families, the media and Dutch citizens. In real life it's a meeting place to drink copious amounts of beer. You don't have to be Dutch to get in, but a passport gets you to the front of the line.
You know what else we've got? A six story high inukshuk built out of cargo containers, that's what.
To all of you who don't live in Canada, an inukshuk is a stone marker used by the Inuit in northern Canada as a navigation marker
Wonder what they're going to do with it after the games? Bet it would look great on my front lawn.
Another cool thing being built here, right in front of the Oval and not so trailer park, is a giant floating sculpture of the Olympic rings. Built of steel reinforced fiberglass beams and filled with foam, it will be anchored in the river in front of the skating rink and filled with 30,000 pounds of cranberries. What? We grow cranberries here.
What else have we got? Goose shit. Snow goose shit to be precise. Approximately 100,000 snow geese stop by here twice a year to eat everything in site like a plague of white feathered locusts on their 4000 kilometre (2485 mile) journey from Russia to the Skagit delta in Washington State. Eat and shit. Everywhere. Geese are big birds.
And so I leave you with shit. Off to Keely's with you.
How Human Civilization Began
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