Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Random Tuesday: Avian Fecal Matter And The Olympics

Crocuses. Pretty, right? Except that the WINTER Olympics are only ten days away. Oops.


Cypress Mountain, which is just north of Vancouver and is hosting free style skiing and snowboarding only had patches of snow left last week. They're trucking snow from the other side of the mountain and then pushing it up the hill with snow cats so they'll have a base for the snowmaking machines to work with. There had been talk of using helicopters to ship the snow in if they had too. I'm sure that won't affect my taxes next year.


Whatever, I love the Olympics and the fact that they're happening right here in my own city? Sweeeeeeet. Not that you'd know that it was happening in my city since it's not being called the Vancouver/Whistler/Richmond 2010 Olympics, but whatever, we have the speed skating oval, and more importantly, Holland House. Every Olympic games since Barcelona in '92, the Dutch Olympic Committee and Heineken have sponsored Holland House, a home away from home for Dutch athletes, families, the media and Dutch citizens. In real life it's a meeting place to drink copious amounts of beer. You don't have to be Dutch to get in, but a passport gets you to the front of the line.

You know what else we've got? A six story high inukshuk built out of cargo containers, that's what.


To all of you who don't live in Canada, an inukshuk is a stone marker used by the Inuit in northern Canada as a navigation marker


Wonder what they're going to do with it after the games? Bet it would look great on my front lawn.

Another cool thing being built here, right in front of the Oval and not so trailer park, is a giant floating sculpture of the Olympic rings. Built of steel reinforced fiberglass beams and filled with foam, it will be anchored in the river in front of the skating rink and filled with 30,000 pounds of cranberries. What? We grow cranberries here.

What else have we got? Goose shit. Snow goose shit to be precise. Approximately 100,000 snow geese stop by here twice a year to eat everything in site like a plague of white feathered locusts on their 4000 kilometre (2485 mile) journey from Russia to the Skagit delta in Washington State. Eat and shit. Everywhere. Geese are big birds.

And so I leave you with shit. Off to Keely's with you.

51 comments:

  1. Wow...I totally had idea that you were right across the water from me when I was living in Victoria. Cool.

    Can't wait for the Olympics....did you get tickets?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Snow goose shit? Hopefully they'll spot the inukshuk, get confused and fly away?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think the inukshuk would look cool in your front lawn!!!!Thanks for stopping by my new blog! Be sure to get some pictures of the giant floating sculpture....and what the hell do cranberries have to do with the Olympics???

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ok, I am laughing at your sister's comment. Is it wrong that I could totally see you with the inukshuk on your lawn. It would be so many kinds of awesome. Of course your neighbors would probably complain...oh well.

    ReplyDelete
  5. What is up with the snow? It snowed in Georgia this past weekend and you guys are having to move snow around? The weather gods are playing with us.

    And how cool that the Olympics are right there in your town! I'm jealous.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That inukshuk could be turned into a small house. Or cut some holes in it and turn it into a giant lantern!

    Can't help you with goose shit. We get a lot of Canada geese doing the same thing. I could eat some cranberries, though.

    ReplyDelete
  7. such a cold and snowy winter and you don't have any snow!?!

    Down here, winter signifies goose shit on the golf courses. Hard to put with mounds of crap in the way!

    ReplyDelete
  8. crocuses? RIGHT NOW??????

    I better get started if I am going to kick your &** this summer.

    ReplyDelete
  9. There's something shitting in the blogosphere today. You should totally rent your house out to some Olympic folks and make a killing. We almost did that for the last Superbowl in Tampa but then we decided that we didn't have anywhere to go if someone was sleeping here. Duh.

    ReplyDelete
  10. So, that cargo container inukshuk is so the Inuit of Northern Canada can find their way to the winter games?

    Wait, there are Inuit in Northern Canada?

    WAIT, there are PEOPLE in Northern Canada? I thought it was all tundra and icebergs and shit.

    Wow, I've never learned so much in an RTT post.

    Also - super jealous re: Olympics. I LOVE the speed skating. LOVE.

    ReplyDelete
  11. My! What a lovely inukshuk. You Canadians sure do have an eye for art. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. We get the CBC here! Yay, for awesome Olympic coverage, without all the crap. Also, the geese? Live here the rest of the year.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Spring flowers already? That would get me excited. Six more weeks of winter...

    Secretia

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hey! Awesome inukshuk. It would look great on my front lawn too .. right next to the bathtub that I use as a planter :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks for explaining what an inukshuk is.

    I'm going to use it at least 5 times today....make myself look super smurt!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Seriously, what is that cargo container thingy? I have a (little, tiny actually) inukshuk in my home and love it! And where did that cranberry idea come from?

    ReplyDelete
  17. I think most of the Canada geese that were supposed to migrate south have ended up in my part of Pennsylvania. I see thousands of them on the farms I drive past. I figure they found out how the southern part of the USA was getting more snow than the Northeastern part of the USA and decided screw it. Let's just stop here. Why waste energy to fly to where there's MORE snow?

    I can't wait for the Olympics to start!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Maybe you can work it out so when the games are over some mad scientist can make the cargo container inukshuk come to life and stomp around. Now THAT would be cool!

    ReplyDelete
  19. that cargo container one looks like my first apartment. we will gladdly ship you snow...but you can keep the goose droppings. no trades necessary.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Awesome!!!!! I was a wee lass when the 96 Summer Olympics were in Atlanta. Ok, I was 15, not so wee I guess, but anyway, it was AWESOME! Enjoy!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Who knew that the Winter Olympics should be scheduled in Northwest Arkansas? We have plenty of snow here, and know one knows fuck all about using a snow plow, apparently, so it's not going anywhere. Hmmm, what else do we have to offer the Olypics? the Wal-Mart Home offices. And cows, complete with cow patties.

    ReplyDelete
  22. you already have crocuses?!

    JEALOUS.

    although, you have far more goose shit to deal with, so it's not all pretty flowers. Good luck with the Olympics...and the traffic they'll bring.

    :)

    the cargo inukshuk is a thing of awesomeness. you should definately steal it :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I love the inuit thingy, that's cool.
    No, you won't pay for flying in snow, not at all...muwwahhh.

    I'm all about the curling. I love Olympic Curling.

    So you have shit and cranberries but no snow? Interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I want to live in Holland House. I am jealous. The title term Avian Fecal Matter just cracks me up. It is a funny way to say goose shit.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Canada. You're quirky weird. I like that you apparently have your own version of rednecks. So, can I come visit you during the Olympics? I'm no trouble at all (as long as you have room for my shoes) and make me cool shaped pancakes every morning. :) See, no trouble. I'll even go with you to the Holland House. See how generous I am?

    ReplyDelete
  26. There seems to be a bit of a 'shit' theme with RTTs this week...

    ReplyDelete
  27. My daffodils are coming up too. Dumb asses. I would stay asleep for a little while longer.

    We Dutch know how to party down.

    Dude I just read about this - http://outside.away.com/outside/culture/200910/feet-british-columbia-crime-mystery-1.html. Guess I shouldn't come to visit and then go running?

    ReplyDelete
  28. That inukshuk would class up my neighborhood. Would it be too frat boy to come steal it?

    Funny thought: If the geese eat the cranberries will they krappe Canadian Maple Leaf Red? That'd be all sorts of patriotic.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hmm, bit worrying about the shortage of snow! Can you ski on snow goose sh*t....? I mean, it's got snow in the title... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Inukshuk. I like that word. Gonna have to find a way to use that in daily conversation.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Are you go to any events? I love the Olympics it would be fun to go to an event, just to say that you went. Its so neat that its in your city!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I don't really get into the Olympics, I haven't watched them since I was a kid. It's cool they are doing them where you live though.

    In the summer there are a lot of geese in my city, and they shit everywhere and it's huge. And smelly. Just thought I'd share.

    Have a great day!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Geese can be tasty. Bag a few and stick them in the freezer.

    ReplyDelete
  34. The geese don't stop at my place. Must be my fierce cats scaring them away. Finally, they prove to be good for something.

    ReplyDelete
  35. are you allowed to shoot the geese in canada? because it's TOTALLY AGAINST THE LAW here. and i'm not really into shooting anything, but because it's totally against the law, i kind of want to.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I'm so jealous. I'm a ridiculous Olympiphile. Maybe they'll have them in LA again before I die. We had thought we were going to get to go to Vancouver and stay with some friends of ours, but they found out how much they could make by renting out their house and decided to jump at the cash and leave the city for the duration. Damn.
    BTW, maybe, if you drink enough Heinekens you could build your own inukshuk out of beer cans in your front yard.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Well, that was educational! Will you get to go to any of the events? THAT would be awesome!
    Love the random!

    ReplyDelete
  38. I will not be envying your traffic situation for the next couple of weeks..

    ReplyDelete
  39. Is the goose shit kinda burgundy in color? My guess is all that goose shit comes from the cranberries they're eating. They probably have good urinary tract health too. See, there's something good in all this.

    Congrats on getting the Olympics in your back yard. I think.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Question. . .

    Does a snow goose shit more than a regular goose, or can you just see it better? You know. . . against the white snow. . .

    ReplyDelete
  41. I bet the kid could make a rockin' playhouse out of that thing.
    That is a LOT of poop. Mama always said not to eat yellow snow...what color is goose poop snow?

    ReplyDelete
  42. I heard about the snow being transported in and have to admit, my first thought was: wonder how much that will cost?

    That sculpture? just looks like they ran out of room at the junk yard.

    ReplyDelete
  43. You leave me with shit, and this day is different because......??

    ReplyDelete
  44. Those 'ol geese from your mother land come down to Connecticut and poop all over the place. At random. And stop traffic. And make the paper.

    You Canadians are publicity-crazed.

    Ellie

    ReplyDelete
  45. Wow, right across from you! Must be exciting to say the least.

    Love the inukshuk navigation system!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Goose shit! I can't stop laughing!!!
    Great post!
    Gerardine

    ReplyDelete
  47. Love the Olympics. Always a lot of fun.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I heard the whole "trucking in of the snow" thing on the news this morning and could not stop laughing! Maybe they can substitute the goose poo for snow...just sayin'....

    ReplyDelete
  49. That ins-a whatever, I know I am offending someone, looks like a giant people crushing machine. Not so safe. And geese are filthy flying rats. I do love them but they are miserable slobs that leave a path of destruction in their wake. The wonders of wildlife. And to think, I get mad at our free ranging chickens who poop on my deck and eat the cat food...

    ReplyDelete
  50. I definitely feel for you guys... Salt Lake was taken over by the Olympic committee for the entire two years leading up to the 2002 Olympics. Total. Pain. In. The. Ass... But we got to drink beer in the middle of the road during the medal ceremonies (and that had NEVER happened before) so that made it worthwhile.

    ReplyDelete

Come on, sailor. I love you long time.