As I was fixing up my americano in Starbucks this morning a woman came in with such an amazing posterior that I'm not sure I really saw it. It was too perfect. No insult to all my favourite's out there, and you know who you are. RIGHT, HON!? You think I'm joking, or just being a man, but I'm serious. Muzak, conversation, work, everyone and everything stopped as all eyes were drawn to her light blue Lululemon-clad glutes. Men, woman, children and the elderly all gazed in wonder at her sculpture-like buttocks. Beside me an elderly man wiped away a tear nodding to himself like, yes, this is why I've lived this long. A young child looked up at her mother and pointed. Her mother looked down with a smile that said, 'yes, I know.'
When Plato spoke of his shadow images this was the first image of ass. Was that Plato? No, it was Socrates. Wait, it was a fictional dialogue with Socrates. I should ask Black Hockey Jesus. It's important to get your Greek philosophers straight when talking about female anatomy.
**Ok, so I started this about 8am this morning and coming back to it now at 1pm I really have nowhere to go.
Showing posts with label Starbucks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Starbucks. Show all posts
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Holiday: Day 2 & 3
Day two was pretty good. Started it off with a bike ride that was not too long, but not too short either. Didn't hurt, much. Then it was back home to take Connor to pre-school but I was a little late and smelling much like a wet goat so I decided to drive Bern, Connor & Liam down to Steveston then come home to shower, eat and get a little work done before heading back out to pick everybody up. That was the plan anyway. I managed to have a shower, but while doing it I thought up an idea for a story so I wasted some time on the computer getting my ideas down before I forgot them. Then I found this article about a German photographer who'd created this work of interviews with terminally ill people with pictures before and after their deaths. Then I really needed to go find my little family for some quality time.
Shut up. Anyway, I caught up with Liam and Bern on their way to Starbucks. Liam had a kids hot chocolate. It looked a little like this:
Ya. Then it was back home to dig up a 4 x 11 foot swath of grass for a new flower bed. The boys helped by inspecting each and every worm I uncovered. By the time I was done I could barely stand up, so I'm putting that down as a productive day.
Today was pretty good too. Bern had to go to work so the boys and I spent the day doing manly things. Well, after we went to Ikea to return a picture frame and get some ice cream. The ice cream was very important. Connor had a tummy ache and the only thing that would make it feel better was Ikea ice cream. What else could we do? Then it was across the street to Home Depot to buy dirt and bricks. It would have been a longer visit but somebody's tummy ache was now demanding macaroni from White Spot.
Finally got home, dumped all the dirt in the flower bed and bordered some of it with the brick. Then we washed the car. THEN we made some headway on my surprise for Bernadette. Another productive day! Also got both the boys showered too. Ok, I had to do that since they were just dirt with eyes by that point. Whatever. Ended up being a little late picking up Bern because of traffic, but I did managed to teach the boys to say, "Punch it, Sparkles!"
And it's only Wednesday.
Shut up. Anyway, I caught up with Liam and Bern on their way to Starbucks. Liam had a kids hot chocolate. It looked a little like this:
Ya. Then it was back home to dig up a 4 x 11 foot swath of grass for a new flower bed. The boys helped by inspecting each and every worm I uncovered. By the time I was done I could barely stand up, so I'm putting that down as a productive day.
Today was pretty good too. Bern had to go to work so the boys and I spent the day doing manly things. Well, after we went to Ikea to return a picture frame and get some ice cream. The ice cream was very important. Connor had a tummy ache and the only thing that would make it feel better was Ikea ice cream. What else could we do? Then it was across the street to Home Depot to buy dirt and bricks. It would have been a longer visit but somebody's tummy ache was now demanding macaroni from White Spot.
Finally got home, dumped all the dirt in the flower bed and bordered some of it with the brick. Then we washed the car. THEN we made some headway on my surprise for Bernadette. Another productive day! Also got both the boys showered too. Ok, I had to do that since they were just dirt with eyes by that point. Whatever. Ended up being a little late picking up Bern because of traffic, but I did managed to teach the boys to say, "Punch it, Sparkles!"
And it's only Wednesday.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Stereotyping
Not something I generally do, unless I can get a laugh out of it, but...
When you think of happy people, of say, a whole country of happy people, a race, Filipinos gotta be up there in your top 5. In fact, just try making that list right now. All you can think of is Filipinos, right? Now I'm sure there are just as many asshole Flips out there as there are in any other ethnic group, but all in all, these are happy people.
How did my Starbucks get mean ones? These three are evil. I'm sorry Sparkles, did my coffee card have dog poo on it? Is that why you looked at it with such distain this morning? Sorry I interrupted your day by making you ring in my order.
And sorry Mr. Barrista. It's ok, I'll just walk around to your side of the counter to get my americano since it was obviously too much work to put it anywhere near me.
The only bright light is the tall blond guy who I'd totally pegged as gay until I saw his Kerri Russell look-a-like girlfriend. Kudos brother.
When you think of happy people, of say, a whole country of happy people, a race, Filipinos gotta be up there in your top 5. In fact, just try making that list right now. All you can think of is Filipinos, right? Now I'm sure there are just as many asshole Flips out there as there are in any other ethnic group, but all in all, these are happy people.
How did my Starbucks get mean ones? These three are evil. I'm sorry Sparkles, did my coffee card have dog poo on it? Is that why you looked at it with such distain this morning? Sorry I interrupted your day by making you ring in my order.
And sorry Mr. Barrista. It's ok, I'll just walk around to your side of the counter to get my americano since it was obviously too much work to put it anywhere near me.
The only bright light is the tall blond guy who I'd totally pegged as gay until I saw his Kerri Russell look-a-like girlfriend. Kudos brother.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Dear Starbucks
Would it be too much to ask of your barristas to actually put my pre-paid card back into my hand rather than onto the counter right in front of them? I realize my arms are generally longer than theirs but is a little nicety too much to ask? Not that I don't enjoy crawling over the wall of retail items that crowd your till area, but saving me that little climb, treating me like I'm not a smelly street person but actually providing you with pay cheque, that would be nice.
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