BOGO: Monday's Muse & Spin Cycle

Saturday night, while sitting in front of the computer and feeling about as creative as a 185 pound lichen, I stumbled upon a cool website called 10Q.


If you were too lazy to read the picture, the gist of it is you are emailed a question a day for ten days at the end of which the questions and answers are stored up until next year when they are emailed back to you. Cool right? Before you go getting all excited about this though, the whole idea is tied into Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur which is all done with tonight so it's too late to play. Seeing that I didn't have to be Jewish or serious in my answers, I was suddenly inspired and copied them all down.

Then I thought, hey, I haven't done Robin's Monday Muse in awhile. Then I thought, hey hey, I haven't done Jen's Spin Cycle in like, FOREVER! And their both Jewish! Robin's meme is all about things that inspire you and I was inspired by a website put together by people celebrating a holiday steeped in LOTS of tradition which, coincidentally, is what this week's Spin Cycle is about. I know, sometimes I amaze myself too. What? No, they're not my traditions, but so what? They're still traditions.

Anyway, then I looked at all the questions and decided ten was just way too many. So here are three.

1. Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you?

Well, losing my job was pretty significant. How did it effect me? I was unemployed. How does it continue to effect you? I'm still unemployed.

8. Is there something (a person, a cause, an idea) that you want to investigate more fully in 2010?

Crime. After years of slaving away for the Man and my unsucessful month of trying to find a new job I've decided I'd like to investigate crime as a way to support my family. I don't want to do anything really bad, but I like the way Nancy Botwin spends her days. She doesn't really do all that much aside from drinking iced lattes and driving around a lot. Plus, she's always dressed nicely. I think I could do that. Plus, it's highly unlikely that I'll ever become impregnated by a Mexican crime lord. Win win!

9. What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? Think about how you could overcome it this year.

Zombies. Not so much the fear of them on their own because they're slow and fairly easy to kill as long as you don't let yourself be overwhelmed by large numbers. No, the fear is zombies and my family. Being constantly worried about them when we're out has kept us pretty close to home this year.

To overcome this fear I've decided to enroll the boys in martial arts and work with my wife so she is more comfortable around firearms and long bladed weapons. Not only will it help make me feel more comfortable, it's something we can do as a family.

I Am Sloth, Here Me Sigh*

Spin Cycle? I know, it's been forever hasn't it, but here I am. This week's Spin Cycle is 'change,' and when I first saw it I had two great ideas right away. In fact, I was planning on doing a two part Spin, but laziness and life kinda killed that. And speaking of laziness, one of the big things I've decided needs changing, is me.



Now don't get me wrong, I don't actually look like that. I don't actually look fat at all, which is also part of the problem. There's a bit of a spare tire there, but that's about all. And that's what worries me. I know I'm in terrible shape, and if it's not showing on the outside, what does it look like on the inside? Say, around my heart? I've been slowly but methodically ruining the planet of me and the inhabitants have not seemed to care. Until now. Until her.



I swear I tried to find a better picture of her, one where she didn't have her ass pointed in the air, but all the other ones I could find on google sucked. And, for a digitally animated fitness trainer, she's got a nice caboose. If you don't recognize her, she's one of the trainers from the Wii Fit. Connor and Liam have named her Padmé.



Um... ya, I can work with that. Thanks, boys. Anyway, despite a rocky start when she told me my Wii Fit age was 47 even though it's SO not, our love has continued to grow. Today, my third day in, she told me I was 31. I knew she loved me. Sure it feels like she's taken a lead pipe to both my knees, but I know she means it in a good way. And if it means I'll be able to chase my kids around the house for more than five minutes before falling to the floor clutching my chest, then it's all worth it.

I love you, Padmé.

*I stole this from a comment I left on somebody's blog. It did result in a lawsuit being filed by me against myself, but it was eventually settled out of court.

He Might Be Late, But He's Still Santa, Dammit

Just in case you were wondering, Blogger will not let you steal somebody's banner. Hmm, steal is such a negative word. Blogger will not let you borrow somebody's banner even for the purpose of writing a post about their blog. Better. The banner I was trying to "borrow" is from Irish Gumbo.



What does this picture have to do with Irish Gumbo? Nothing at all. It's something I was going to use for Christmas Day, kind of a peace on Earth (Hoth) and good will toward man (clones) thing, but it didn't work out. Kinda like this post. It was supposed to have a picture, so now it does.


This was also supposed to be a long, meandering, heart felt plug for Kevin's site, but it's not going to be. I'm tired, I'm not feeling well and I smell like I've been used to wipe up everything that's gone into a five year old's stomach and come back out the way it went in. Repeatedly. Oh wait. That's because I was. Besides, if I go on and on about how great his site is, how he has not only made me laugh out loud but cry as well, how you should even try some fiction he's been brave enough to post, well, you'll start to wonder if we're planning on picking out shower curtains. And not that Kevin isn't an attractive man, it's just not my team. And if it was? Have you seen that new ad for Dolce & Gabbana with Matthew McConaughey? Carumba. Caught Supreme Leader wiping drool off her chin a few times when that's come on. But as I said, not my team. On that note, my deepest appreciation to GQ for their January 2009 cover. Well done, well done.

Look, go to Irish Gumbo, put it in your reader for a week or two and give him a try. He'll grow on you like mold in the bathroom that you'll never get rid of. But in a good way.

Merry belated Christmas, Kevin.

*Guess I should have mentioned this was my late entry for Spin Cycle.

Spinning Chicken: Why

Strangely enough, sometimes when I sit down here, I really don't have anything to write about. I could spew out some witty "I have nothing to write about" post, but it would be forced since I truly have nothing to write about tonight.

But now I'm back! I just came back from a little walk in the bloggerhood and blow and lehold... sorry, low and behold, inspiration. Inspiration of a rambling nature, but then, that's nothing new. The Spin Cycle! I've missed the last two weeks because... well, just because. This week is an easy one though, why I started blogging.

Why did I start blogging? Easy enough, because I'm terrible at picking up the phone. My family lives in a different city than we do so, being the lazy person I am, I thought I'd just put up one update with pictures for everybody else to come look at when they wanted. Much easier than all those emailed stories and pictures and phone calls. So I started a little page on Yahoo. Can't even remember what Yahoo calls their community, but whatever, that's where it began.

At that point, June of 2007, I'd heard of blogs but never actually read one before. Supreme Leader was reading food blogs, but short of looking at whatever was making her drool that I HAD TO COME LOOK AT NOW, I didn't really pay much attention. Until one day her maniacal laughter led me over to see what she was reading. She'd followed a link on one of her food porn sites to Dooce. I read what had started her laughing and was hooked. Hooked and confused. Why did her blog look so cool and mine looked so lame ass? So I poked around and found Blogger and my madness was released.

But then nobody read it. Nobody in my family at least. Other people were looking at it though. Not commenting, but I was getting hits. Whether or not they were reading wasn't relevant, they were looking at it. Attention! More importantly, I was enjoying myself. I'd found a creative outlet I didn't even know I needed. And it became apparent that I needed it. At one point I think I was up to six different blogs. I've managed to reign that in to just four now. One that I started to write stories in, one that helped me to sort out a whole lot of crazy in therapy, Us & Them and one that I just can't seem to get rid of because I like the name.

Now my blog does get comments and oh does that feel good. Is there anything better than getting comments? You know, aside from your children, life partner, health, sex, food, money. Shut up. You know what I'm talking about. Unless you're a lurker and you don't. Lurkers! Yes, you! The only way you'll ever get comments back is if you leave them to begin with. It's easy. It doesn't hurt. You'll meet amazing people and you'll make friends. It's so worth it.

So, that's why I blog. I was going to end off here, but rereading I noticed I wrote "inspiration of a rambling nature" which means that when I started off I had something else on my mind and unless I want to go back and rewrite that paragraph, which I don't, I'll have to come up with something else...

Ok, here. Unmitigated posted a picture of some Shoyu chicken she'd cooked so Supreme Leader decided we'd have it for dinner tonight.



The bok choy and black beans don't really go with this dish, but we didn't feel like fighting Liam over a new dish and since he would eat dirt if we put black beans on them, that was our side.

Maybe it would have been easier to just rewrite that one sentence...

Spin Cycle: Relax

Earlier tonight (yesterday), before watching NCIS (ah, Cote de Pablo) and Fringe (John Noble kills me) (no more parenthesis, promise)(Ok, I can't really make that promise since I'm mostly winging this and I'm not sure where it's heading) I was over at Unmitigated reading Middle Aged Woman's post on what she's reading. I started to leave a comment about what I was reading but then I couldn't remember the correct name of one of the books and had to go upstairs to write them all down. Then I though, what the hell, I can make a post out of this myself. And then I thought, hey lazy ass, you still haven't done Spin Cycle yet this week (surprise, surprise...oops) two birds with one stone!

This week's Spin is about relaxing, and reading helps me relax. Unless, of course, whatever I'm reading is really REALLY good and I have to read just a few more paragraphs or at least until the end of this section (and here we are again, but I had to mention that I just ran upstairs to ask Supreme Leader for the word to describe a portion of a chapter that tells part of the story but isn't the entirety of the chapter, just a sub story to the chapter but I couldn't think of the name and she totally didn't help at all, just looked at me like I was insane and why am I bothering her during Eli Stone and she's not sure it even has a name but COME ON it has to have a name, doesn't it? Do you know what I'm talking about? Please?)...where was I? Oh ya, so reading relaxes me before bed, unless it's a really good book and I only put it down when my eyes start bleeding or I notice the room is getting brighter.

Wow. Why don't we start fresh down here. Remember reading before kids? Oh, those golden days. No offense to my little angels, but I miss that. Being able to pick up a book any time of day and read it without distraction. Without having to break up a fight, feed someone, kiss something that's hurt, find out why it's so quiet, hand out punishment for why it was so quiet, help battle Imperial Japan/Nazi Germany/the Dark Side/all Super Mario's enemies, take someone to school, bring someone home from school and put somebody on the potty before he pees on the carpet again because even though Elmo has told him that whenever he feels like he needs to go he should stop whatever he's doing and go he still doesn't because, by god, he might miss...well, SOMETHING, dammit! Remember that? So the last thing I do before turning out the light and kissing Supreme Leader is take this little tiny piece of the day that is mine and lose myself in a book. That's my relaxation.

Right now I'm reading Stephen Erikson's Toll of the Hounds which is the 8th book in his Malazan Book of the Fallen series.



If you like fantasy, he is an amazing author, and not just because he's Canadian. The first book in the series is called Gardens of the Moon.

I'm reading four other books at the moment as well, but I've put all of them on hold while I work on Toll of the Hounds. On Hold:

The Yiddish Policeman's Union by Michael Chabon.

The Book of Fate by Brad Meltzer

The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins

Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman

I've also got The Enchantress of Florence by Salman Rushdie on the bed stand, but I haven't opened it yet. And yes, long time readers, this was the same book Liam peed on.

And now it's after 11pm and I've still barely read any blogs from yesterday and I should be upstairs READING A BOOK! Deep breath... relax...