Thursday, January 28, 2010

Pregnant Conversations

I'm not sure what the deal is, but every time I sit down to write something this week I find myself wandering out to the kitchen to find something to eat instead. And by something I mean anything, but that's a whole other post that won't write itself because I'll catch hell for getting vanilla icing on the keyboard. Where was I going with this? Besides the kitchen? Whatever. I may not have anything to write, but I've always got my wife.

10:30pm
Supreme Leader: I want some cherries.
Me: It's January.
SL: You can still get them.
Me: For what, a thousand dollars a pound?
SL: You don't love me.

Supremely Pregnant Leader: My belly feels distended.
Me: Your belly is distended.
SPL: Thanks.
Me: I'm a lot of help, aren't I?
SPL: You're a bastard.



*Update: Ok, when I said I wasn't writing I should have been more specific and said I haven't been writing posts. I've got a new story up at the Zombie News Network if you're interested. It's short.
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61 comments:

  1. Kate Coveny HoodJanuary 28, 2010 at 12:55 AM

    I have many fond memories of sending my husband out for frozen corn. Apparently, I'm a cheap (pregnant) date.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MegJanuary 28, 2010 at 12:59 AM

    I used to send my husband out for giant Subway sandwiches. Oh the memories.

    ReplyDelete
  3. mo.stoneskinJanuary 28, 2010 at 1:14 AM

    I'll sell you a pound of cherries for $500. Deal?

    ReplyDelete
  4. SweetPeaSurryJanuary 28, 2010 at 1:17 AM

    I love pregnant conversations. I should really start collecting the reasons why I have no children ... really. I find them all over the blogosphere all the time! I love my four legged monster kids though! You guys are amazing!!!

    good luck with those cherries. (might I suggest an angel food cake with cherries and sauce and whipped cream on top ... satisfy both of ya cravings?)

    ReplyDelete
  5. SweetPeaSurryJanuary 28, 2010 at 1:18 AM

    I love pregnant conversations. I should really start collecting the reasons why I have no children ... really. I find them all over the blogosphere all the time! I love my four legged monster kids though!

    good luck with those cherries. (might I suggest an angel food cake with cherries and sauce and whipped cream on top ... satisfy both of ya cravings?)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Christine GramJanuary 28, 2010 at 2:55 AM

    I miss pre-pregnant conversations. You never get that part of your brain back.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Irish GumboJanuary 28, 2010 at 3:39 AM

    What, no credit for being honesty and helpfulness?

    Still, maybe just keep your yap shut. And go and find those cherries, dammit!

    ReplyDelete
  8. KurtJanuary 28, 2010 at 3:40 AM

    "Girls are silly when they're pregnant!" said the man who never wanted to have sex again. But wink,wink! It's true.

    ReplyDelete
  9. MrsBlogAlotJanuary 28, 2010 at 3:49 AM

    Oh how I remember the "get me" days (-:

    You poor man.

    ReplyDelete
  10. UnknownJanuary 28, 2010 at 3:58 AM

    C'mon...you can still get cherries...
    chocolate covered ones
    make a necklace out of them
    massage her feet
    and ask her when she is going to start showing

    Peace ~ Rene

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lori PJanuary 28, 2010 at 4:00 AM

    Supreme Pregnant Leaders are VERY scary. I sent my man out for cool pops. Luckily you could buy them in bulk.

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  12. MicheleJanuary 28, 2010 at 4:34 AM

    Cantaloupe halves filled with vanilla ice cream in Bellingham, WA in February....good times for my husband.

    Lucky you....you have blog material for another 6 months plus the baby pics. Now, stop complaining and go buy those cherries.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Mom in High HeelsJanuary 28, 2010 at 5:12 AM

    Think of all the blog fodder you're going to have! No need to think up things to post because you have pregnancy brain.
    And might I suggest that your constant need to eat is from a sympathetic pregnancy? When I was pregnant with Indy, I gained 11 pounds (4.75lbs of that was Indy, BTW), while Mr. HH gained 25.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Carolyn...OnlineJanuary 28, 2010 at 5:21 AM

    You're so pretty. You look SO small. Are you sure you're gaining enough weight?

    Go with stuff like that.

    ReplyDelete
  15. The Good CookJanuary 28, 2010 at 5:37 AM

    Little Caesars Vegetarian Sandwiches - EVERY day. I tried to eat one a few weeks after giving birth and thought they were the worse things ever invented. Sigh.. I miss those days.

    ReplyDelete
  16. justmakingourwayJanuary 28, 2010 at 5:39 AM

    I think, in general, it's best for you to stay away from words like "distended." It's okay for SPL - but not for you.

    I don't think I ever sent my husband out for anything. But I did ask him to make me grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches almost every day of my first pregnancy.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Stacy UncorkedJanuary 28, 2010 at 6:16 AM

    Since I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 5-1/2 months along, I missed out on sending hubby to find a myriad of odd foods.

    Oh wait. Maybe I did. He just thought I was crazy. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Miss AngieJanuary 28, 2010 at 6:20 AM

    LOL, how funny!

    ReplyDelete
  19. ChrisJanuary 28, 2010 at 6:55 AM

    I've said it before, I'll say it again... I love your wife.

    ReplyDelete
  20. JoanneJanuary 28, 2010 at 8:00 AM

    Repeat after me - six more months - six more months - then it gets worse!! BWAHHHHH

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousJanuary 28, 2010 at 8:13 AM

    the bastard comment made me snort oj out my nose...lmao;)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sprite's KeeperJanuary 28, 2010 at 9:55 AM

    My fruit of choice was strawberries. I yelled at John for eating some of the berries and leaving the stems in the sink for me to find just because I thought it was mean of him. Yeah, turns out the stems were mine. I've apologized. Just last week in fact..

    ReplyDelete
  23. Suzy VoicesJanuary 28, 2010 at 10:21 AM

    Those pregnancy hormones are a bitch! hang in there!

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  24. MelanieJanuary 28, 2010 at 10:56 AM

    Damn you insensitive bastard!!!! Get your wife some cherries!!!!!!!!

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  25. Brian MillerJanuary 28, 2010 at 10:59 AM

    lol. now go get some cherries...

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousJanuary 28, 2010 at 11:06 AM

    Never deny a pregnant woman. Do you not remember her having your other two children? If she wants cherries, you'd better figure out how to get them :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. JenniJanuary 28, 2010 at 11:20 AM

    you are clearly heartless and trying to torture your pregnant wife.

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  28. GrantJanuary 28, 2010 at 12:04 PM

    Wouldn't it be easier to just hide in the woods until the baby is born? Or in college?

    ReplyDelete
  29. Jack SteinerJanuary 28, 2010 at 1:20 PM

    Trader Joes carries all sorts of good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  30. GretchenJanuary 28, 2010 at 2:06 PM

    Ah...those were the days. When I was pregnant my husband did everything I asked of him. He rubbed my feet, cleaned out the kitty box, put away his socks. Then the kid was born and...sigh. Only a bittersweet memory.

    ReplyDelete
  31. KatJanuary 28, 2010 at 2:47 PM

    I am on Supreme Leaders side this time. Bastard. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  32. justsomethoughts...January 28, 2010 at 2:53 PM

    preginint indeed
    ha!
    love it
    keep them coming

    hope SL doesnt throw you out at some point for sharing the love

    ReplyDelete
  33. tattytiaraJanuary 28, 2010 at 3:37 PM

    I think the correct answer to "my belly feels distended" might have been "can I buy you some cherries?", but don't quote me on that.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Ms. SaltiJanuary 28, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    At least you're honest...
    Hope the prego thing is going well!

    ReplyDelete
  35. LisaJanuary 28, 2010 at 6:49 PM

    Just as you understand she IS the Supreme Leader, whether you love her or not, whether you are a bastard or not. Remember. She. Is. Always. Right. :)

    ReplyDelete
  36. PamelaJanuary 28, 2010 at 8:05 PM

    you are a bastard, and only in it for the sex. i know your type.

    ReplyDelete
  37. James (SeattleDad)January 28, 2010 at 8:23 PM

    At least you are a funny bastard.

    ReplyDelete
  38. lynette355January 29, 2010 at 5:25 AM

    orange slurpies with chocolate syrup in them so i could dip my sour cream and chive chips in them to eat....now that is a craving

    ReplyDelete
  39. KhadraJanuary 29, 2010 at 7:48 AM

    Your wife is awesome :)

    and pregnancy sucks, I feel her pain. Well, not anymore THANK GOD but Ive been there a time or 4.

    ReplyDelete
  40. JaimeJanuary 29, 2010 at 9:06 AM

    the only thing i made my husband run out and get for me was ribs... for the first 2 months i was pregnant, i had this insane insatiable craving for ribs. weird, i know!

    ReplyDelete
  41. UnknownJanuary 29, 2010 at 11:39 AM

    Dude... You are so right! This is some GREAT writing! I woke the dog up with my overly manly laugh!!! HA! Good Job!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Jenny GraceJanuary 29, 2010 at 11:50 AM

    That sounds about right.

    ReplyDelete
  43. KeelyJanuary 29, 2010 at 1:54 PM

    Oh my god, you really DON'T love her! It's only a thousand dollars a pound, geez!!

    ReplyDelete
  44. vodkamomJanuary 29, 2010 at 4:35 PM

    wait, you're PREGNANT? Where HAVE I BEEN??????


    I'll get her the damn cherries myself.

    ReplyDelete
  45. LucyCooperJanuary 29, 2010 at 6:26 PM

    Baby Dumbass needs cherries, you dick!

    Hah- just kidding. Is it just me, or is January the official Writer's Block Month for bloggers? Somma them bastards are still cranking the daily post, but when I peeked my head out of my avoidance/shame spiral and looked around, I realized lots of us have our minds somewhere else. Like on cherries and frosting.

    ReplyDelete
  46. ♥ BrajaJanuary 30, 2010 at 1:08 AM

    Just shut up and get the cherries.

    And grilled cheese art.

    ReplyDelete
  47. RavenJanuary 30, 2010 at 7:39 AM

    Aaaw get The Supreme Leader some cherries. I was pregnant twice and those cravings are a bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  48. MikeJanuary 30, 2010 at 9:38 AM

    Poor abused man! LOL! I am all for zombies stories.

    ReplyDelete
  49. LeslieJanuary 30, 2010 at 3:34 PM

    Good Lord, man, remove both distended and fat from your vocabulary. Immediately.

    ReplyDelete
  50. apathy loungeJanuary 30, 2010 at 4:59 PM

    She's only asking for cherries. Gah! It's not like she's demanding chocolate-covered gold bricks or anything. Wait...do they have cherries in Candada? I mean...anyplace that doesn't have a Target forces me to ask that question.

    ReplyDelete
  51. apathy loungeJanuary 30, 2010 at 5:00 PM

    Sorry. I just had a margarita. I meant...Canada.

    ReplyDelete
  52. julesJanuary 30, 2010 at 6:27 PM

    Ha ha. Hormones in a woman can absolutely make, "for a thousand dollars a pound" translate to "you don't love me."

    ReplyDelete
  53. Maggie MayJanuary 30, 2010 at 8:05 PM

    mmmmmm cherrriesss

    ReplyDelete
  54. Fragrant LiarJanuary 31, 2010 at 3:48 PM

    A woman who's pregnant, longing for cherries. I think that's Freudian, man. She's nostalgic. And it's probably all your fault.

    ReplyDelete
  55. AnonymousJanuary 31, 2010 at 6:50 PM

    While you're out, can you get me some toilet paper.

    ReplyDelete
  56. steenky beeFebruary 1, 2010 at 11:27 AM

    Dude, don't cheap out on the cherries. I so hope the newest bundle at your home will be a girl. You'll be getting her "cherries" or whatever she wants for the rest of her life. This? This is just practice....

    ReplyDelete
  57. Little Ms BloggerFebruary 1, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    So how quickly did cherries appear in the house? Did you get yourself some vanilla ice cream and tell her you're having empathy cravings?

    ReplyDelete
  58. CaseyFebruary 1, 2010 at 6:16 PM

    Like I said before, take your FAT ASS out to get the woman some food.

    I'm the one person out there who never had cravings when I was pregnant. Or mood swings. I'm normally a binge eating bitch so things didn't change much.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Big Mama CassFebruary 1, 2010 at 10:18 PM

    LOL sounds like normal pregnant conversations to me *shrug*

    ReplyDelete
  60. MsPicketToYouFebruary 2, 2010 at 7:58 PM

    Um? Can I come to Vancouver? Fuck the cherries.

    ReplyDelete
  61. SaraFebruary 4, 2010 at 2:32 PM

    Thank you so much for the follow, I am now following you.

    Last year my poor Hubby had to go get ice cream in the winter. All I craved was soft serve vanilla ice cream. Hoep supreme leader gets to have cherries!

    Have a great day

    ReplyDelete

Come on, sailor. I love you long time.

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