Two Little Airplanes

Untitled from Zoo Keeper on Vimeo.

Deep Down They're Really Good

Wondering what that is? Take a guess? If you guessed a plastic toy boulder that my two or four year old (doesn't matter which, they're both guilty) put in a wall heater you guessed right. I thought I smelt something yesterday but couldn't find anything. Tonight before Bern went to work she was complaining about smelling something upstairs. It bothered her enough to call home after getting to work to have me go upstairs and check. Well, she wasn't crazy... no, won't touch that. Anyway. A few minutes work with my trusty Motorola Krazr flashlight turned up the culprit. It's 11:01pm, is it too late to wake them up and spank them?

Illnesses Whose Victims May Not Be Safely Eaten

Courtesy of Timothy McSweeney

1. Rabies

2. Chickenpox

3. Leukemia

4. Tuberculosis

5. The common cold

6. Hodgkin's disease

7. Hepatitis*

8. Leprosy

9. Crohn's disease**

10. Mono (aka mononucleosis, the Epstein-Barr virus, the kissing disease)

11. AIDS

12. Influenza

13. Malaria***

14. Herpes (genital or oral)

15. SARS



Illnesses Whose Victims
May Be Safely Eaten

1. Color blindness

2. Tourette's syndrome

3. Alzheimer's disease

4. Breast, thyroid, liver, and prostate cancers****

5. Asthma

6. HIV

7. Cholera*****

8. Chlamydia*****

9. Syphilis*****

10. Diphtheria*****

11. Muscular dystrophy

12. Tinnitus

13. Type 2 diabetes

14. Parkinson's disease

15. Homesickness

- - - -

* It may be safe to consume a victim of hepatitis if you carefully avoid the liver.

** At one time, it was believed that Crohn's disease was a genetic disorder and thus its victims were safe to devour. Recent studies, however, suggest that Crohn's is an infectious environmental bacteria, linked to Johne's disease, which infects ruminants. If this is correct, victims of Crohn's may not be safely consumed.

*** It may be safe to consume a victim of malaria if the blood is drained and the liver is avoided.

**** Victims may not be consumed if cancer was induced by hepatitis virus.

***** Slight chance that these diseases would infect through the mouth/esophagus mucosa before they could be destroyed by the acidity of the stomach. Thus, their victims could not be said to be "safe."

Buy Mii a Wii

Talking to the Moon

Every work day morning I get the kids ready to go before I get myself ready. Saves me from having to change out of toothpaste stained clothes twice. So today I get them done and send them off to play. I noticed how bright the moon was since it's full today and opened up Connor's blinds to show the boys then headed off to the bathroom. While I'm in there I can hear them talking and playing and doing their thing. Then I could hear them talking to somebody. They were showing the moon their toys and including it in a game they were playing that involved shooting bad guys.

The moon as a babysitter, who knew?

PS. Did you see the moon this morning? That was something you sacrifice a virgin to. Spooky.

Honesty

"Connor. Come here. What's going on in the living room?"

"Liam threw something at me."

"Uh huh. And what were you doing with your legs?"

"I was trying to kick him but it didn't work."

Perspective

Bern likes to make fun of me when it comes to the fridge. She says that if I can't see it as soon as I open the door it ceases to exist. Ok, not so far from the truth. I think it also has to do with the way we look at things. When she looks into the fridge, she's literally looking INTO the fridge. She's 5 foot nothing and a half! When I look in the fridge I'm looking down so that stuff in the back, can't see it.

Yesterday she asked me if I could clean the hood vent over the oven. I said sure, I could see it looked pretty grimy and dusty, no problem. So I cleaned it all off and now it's nice and shiny and new looking again. Only problem is she was looking up at the actual intake fans underneath the hood. I can't see those. I was looking at the top of the hood which is over her head. (Not to mention far easier to clean.)