Random Tuesday: Keep On Rockin' In The Free World

Liam: Daddy, I love you as big as the Death Star.
Me: I love you too, baby.



Ok, let's start this out on the wrong foot:

I bought a dresser for Liam this weekend. As I was bringing it into the house, in my sandals, I dragged it over my big toe and pulled half the nail off. I was very happy to be alone in the house so I could dig deep and make use of my extensive, multi-lingual knowledge of profanity. Aside from the whimpering, it was impressive.

A few month back I won a Kodak Zi6 from Amy of the Bitchin' Wives Club. The boys and I made a video to thank her but then she went and moved off to the wilds of internetless England and couldn't see it. Thankfully she's rejoined us in the 21st century so I'm putting it up now.


(Amy got the camera from the Blogher conference, it's pink) (what?)

"Plaque never sleeps." From my four year old, apropos nothing. (Just for you, Dental Maven)

Hey KFC. Tender juicy boneless chicken wings made from 100% breast meat aren't really wings, are they? They're tender juicy breasts... Sorry, where was I going with this?

Paper.

SCRIBE MUNDO DE PAPEL from ladies on Vimeo.

I heart strawberry soy milk.

I'm getting tired of those commercials for those internet sticks that let you use your laptop anywhere. The ones where they show some annoyingly happy person talking about how they can download music at the beach or bank from a park bench at lunch or something. Yes, being able to use your computer anywhere is great, but seriously, I can barely see the tiny screen on my phone when it's sunny out. A big reflective laptop screen? Oh sure.

Haven't done this in awhile. Ten from iTunes while I wrote this:

1.The Day I Died - Just Jack
2. Bear - The Antlers
3. Jump In The Pool - Friendly Fires
4. Remedy - Little Boots
5. Mahgeetah - My Morning Jacket
6. Very Busy People - The Limousines
7. Oxford Comma - Vampire Weekend
8. Sweet Sweet Baby - Michelle Featherstone
9. This Year - The Mountain Goats
10. Never Forget You - The Noisettes
(big thanks to Kat for five of these)

Alright. Everybody off the bus. Go bother Keely for awhile.

Non-Prescription Heroin

This morning I was suffering a double whammy of head pain from the three fillings I had done yesterday and a headache I've been getting everyday at work this week. Since I could hear my skull fracturing from my swelling brain, I decided I might need a little more than my usual Advil Gel-Caps and staggered over to Shopper's to look for something a little stronger. After blindly groping my way to the pain relief aisle and falling to my knees before the staggering array of pill boxes, I was about to give in to my imminent death when the sound of a heavenly choir filled the air. The clouds parted and a lone beam of sunlight fell upon a box of Super Strength Motrin.

Madre de Dios! When they say, fast relief, they mean FAST! I've never taken anything that's worked so quickly. It was like sticking a syringe straight into my forehead. My profound thanks to the fine people at McNeil Consumer Healthcare, makers of Motrin. I've found my new pusher.

Naproxen, Cyclobenzaprine, and Tylenol 3's, Oh My!

What a difference a day makes. Sunday morning was sunshine and giggles. Father's Day. The promise of relaxation and feasting. Then I got out of the shower and had a railway spike hammered into my neck/shoulder. A railway spike covered in glass. A railway spike covered in glass and wrapped with barbed wire. Rusty barbed wire. And it's electified. Ok, maybe that part was all imaginary, but I'm trying to explain what it felt like. Did I fall getting out of the tub? No. Did I fall down the stairs that morning? No. Car wreck? Stampede? Struck by a meteorite? No, no and no. I just got out of the shower and started drying off. Next thing I know an electrified railway spike is sticking out through my chest.

Needless to say, I didn't go grocery shopping Sunday. Or to the inlaws for the birthday party/father's day barbeque. Instead I sat at home watching an American Choppers marathon while sitting on a dining room chair I'd dragged into the living room. Why a dining chair? Because if I'd sat down on the couch I wouldn't have been able to get back up again.

I woke up last night just after 2am because it hurt to be lying down. It took 20 minutes for me to get out of bed without screaming and waking everybody up. I've been up since then since I can't lie down and nap. There's not a lot on tv at 3am on a Monday morning. Bern managed to get me an appointment today with the doctor. He prescribed a whack of pills. Most of which are in my system right now. A little action please! Bern said I should wait to see what the other stuff does before adding the Tylenol to the mix. Whatever, I want my epideral and I want it now!