Monday, June 18, 2007

Naproxen, Cyclobenzaprine, and Tylenol 3's, Oh My!

What a difference a day makes. Sunday morning was sunshine and giggles. Father's Day. The promise of relaxation and feasting. Then I got out of the shower and had a railway spike hammered into my neck/shoulder. A railway spike covered in glass. A railway spike covered in glass and wrapped with barbed wire. Rusty barbed wire. And it's electified. Ok, maybe that part was all imaginary, but I'm trying to explain what it felt like. Did I fall getting out of the tub? No. Did I fall down the stairs that morning? No. Car wreck? Stampede? Struck by a meteorite? No, no and no. I just got out of the shower and started drying off. Next thing I know an electrified railway spike is sticking out through my chest.

Needless to say, I didn't go grocery shopping Sunday. Or to the inlaws for the birthday party/father's day barbeque. Instead I sat at home watching an American Choppers marathon while sitting on a dining room chair I'd dragged into the living room. Why a dining chair? Because if I'd sat down on the couch I wouldn't have been able to get back up again.

I woke up last night just after 2am because it hurt to be lying down. It took 20 minutes for me to get out of bed without screaming and waking everybody up. I've been up since then since I can't lie down and nap. There's not a lot on tv at 3am on a Monday morning. Bern managed to get me an appointment today with the doctor. He prescribed a whack of pills. Most of which are in my system right now. A little action please! Bern said I should wait to see what the other stuff does before adding the Tylenol to the mix. Whatever, I want my epideral and I want it now!

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Come on, sailor. I love you long time.