A man walks down the street
He say why am I soft in the middle now
Why am I soft in the middle
The rest of my life is so hard
- Paul Simon, You Can Call Me Al
I had two disheartening realizations this weekend. Well, I guess 'realization' implies that I wasn't aware of them in the first place, and that would be stretching the truth somewhat. The first would be that I am no longer a stay at home dad. As much as I loved being one, now I'm just unemployed. An unemployed, and apparently unemployable, dead beat dad living off my hard working pregnant wife. Ya, that's great for the ego. You know what else starts with the letter E? Emasculated!
The second lightbulb was painfully delivered not just mentally, but physically as well. Saturday morning was sunny and beautiful so I took the boys outside to play a little hockey. I was stuck using a stick made for somebody three feet tall, so by the time we were done the right side of my chest hurt like a bitch from leaning over so far. This is something I usually laugh off as I'm reaching for some more desert or making another excuse for not exercising, but my chest hurt for most of the day. Hurt in a 'f*ck me, am I having a heart attack?' kinda way. That wasn't so funny. Not so funny in a 'you're thirty-nine years old and you've got a new baby on the way in six months except you may just keel over and die before that happens if you don't get off your lazy ass and get some exercise you fat bastard' kinda way.
So that's my Monday. How was your weekend?
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