Much like a dog or a wild animal that's tasted human blood for the first time, Finn's need to stick everything into his mouth, regardless of size, shape or common sense has now become a serious issue. It started out as it usually does, bit of paper, fuzz, the occasional dropped cereal around the dining table. As with his older brothers, it progressed on to toy cars, remote controls, et cetera. Now though...
That there? That's a chunk of burnt wood from the fireplace. We caught him eating a nice sharp charred bit last week. Sharp like glass, sharp. And after we fished it out of his mouth? He tried to go back for more, hence the picture of it sitting in my car port.
Then the inevitable. Supreme Leader has him in his big brother's room and hears a gagging noise. Jamming a finger in his mouth after wrestling him away from the Lego box she can feel something hard and pointy in there but needs to reposition since he's fighting her and trying to eat her finger as well. Then it's gone. We're not sure whether or not it's still in his stomach or he spat it out when she picked him up, but I can tell you where it hasn't been for half a week of diaper changes. Damn kids.
Liam to Supreme Leader after being asked to be left alone to play: "It's not that I don't want you in my life, I just want to be alone for now."
I love people who cough in your ear on the phone. Once is understandable, but when you do it consistently that just makes you a horrible human being who deserves flaming genital warts.
And how about we just leave it at flaming genital warts.
*"You are my kind of scum." -Jabba the Hutt