Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Salty Dogs, The Auto Industry And Eating Til It Hurts

My week:
Remember Jaws? The first one. Remember the noise the whale made when Jaws ate it? The front end of my van was making that noise.



God, I love Quint. If I didn't love my header so much I'd have a picture of Quint up there and if you steal my idea I swear I'll find you and stab you in the eye with a harpoon and then disappear into the vastness that is my country and they'll never find me. Unless it's the Mounties because they always get their man and there are some really attractive constables out there so maybe that wouldn't be so bad and maybe they'd be pissed at that misogynistic saying and turn a blind eye if I were disguised in drag because, hey, I wouldn't be a 'man' anymore, would I? And 'turning a blind eye?' Does that saying piss blind people off?

Where was I? Oh ya, so Monday I have to drag the kids over to the in-laws and take the van in to exorcise whatever evil spirit has possessed my front end. (of the van, leave it alone)

Today (yesterday because I'm writing this last night)(writing a blog is like time travel sometimes) I had to bring the van into the auto body shop to have the entire right hand side of the car cut off but they assure me it will only take a few days to fix. Why don't they make cars out of Lego? The rental place gives me a PT Cruiser and hey Chrysler, nice design on the bench seat in the back, I don't feel like my kids are in danger at all because of your shitty design ideas. Can't imagine why you guys are going under.

Tomorrow (today), we're spending the day at the aquarium because Connor's class is going and Supreme Leader has the day off so we're taking Liam along for a day of family fun. I wonder if they have wi-fi?

Thursday... I don't think anything is happening Thursday. That can't be right.

Friday, BBQ'ing a small farm for Liam's fourth birthday.

Saturday, ten course Chinese banquet. The dinner is for a sister of a sister-in-law's baby's one month celebration. Got that? Whatever, it's just an excuse to eat. A lot.

Hmm. Writing it down it doesn't seem as bad as it did in my head. Lists are good.

53 comments:

  1. Ah, the famous MiniVan noise. I had infamous Chrysler with the mystery sound. I don't think they ever figured it out quite to my satisfaction and I hope the thing is happy in its minivan graveyard (and good riddance). No, it's not hard at all to see why that company is doing so well.

    Isn't it funny how the first thing we think of anywhere we go Is there wi-fi?? I know I do anyway. (and by 'we' I mean blog-a-holics like myself.)

    Happy eating, it sounds yum.

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  2. The chances of wi-fi at the aquarium are as slim as the chances of my lunch surviving past 9 this morning.

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  3. You'd never escape in drag here in California. They always get their tranny here.

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  4. You are SO Canadian :)

    When your van makes that noise you should strap a mike to your mouth, wind down all the windows, and do the Jaws "fearful approach" music:

    dum dum
    dum dum dum dum
    dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum
    AAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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  5. A) I don't recall a whale-eating scene.

    2) Of COURSE there's something happening Thursday. The playoffs start. GO WINGS!

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  6. The monologue that Robert Shaw gives is easily one of the greatest bits of acting in history. I watch it every time I notice it on TV. You could maybe put his head on the body of that Stormtropper. But use the shot of Quint from when he is spitting blood when he's getting bit in half. Just an idea. From now on I am going to pretend that you laugh exactly like Quint does. Pretty awesome.

    How bout this one: http://www.yourprops.com/norm-47151755bc9c8-Jaws+(1975).jpeg

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  7. Dude, you'd go for a constable over me? That hurts, man, that hurts...

    I'll wear a uniform if you like! please don't run away! :)

    That'll probably be embarrassing once the buzz wears off. sigh....

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  8. Which fish place? The columbus zoo or newport? The newport just outside cincinnati is very nice - but pricey.

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  9. 有誰知道基隆搬家公司的服務流程與搬家價格。

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  10. "Turning a blind eye" doesn't offend blind people because you're turning it into a seeing one. I think. Not sure.

    The Vancouver Aquarium is awesome.

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  11. Lists... ah I love me a good list and the satisfaction of crossing things off the list is really THE BEST FEELING EVER.

    So sorry about your front end issues - Hope SL has a back up plan. ( for transportation you filthy dude)

    Have a great day checking out the fishies

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  12. Wow. Ten courses. How many of them include alcohol?

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  13. Can you please explain the whole Mountie thing to us stupid Americans. (Dudes on horses with rifles? Really?)

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  14. I can let you borrow my boots...

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  15. Lists are great until you look at them and still nothing is accomplished lol.

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  16. you can have quint i will take richard. fair enough.

    mini van sounds----not like my knees when i try and exercise. that is more of a creeking sound there.

    got your fishing poles ready for the field trip?

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  17. Huh, my minivan makes noise whenever I turn the ignition. I wonder what that's about..

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  18. Enjoy your Thursday with nothing to do. Days are like toilets— they fill up fast even after you flush them away.

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  19. Thursday, I say fast, so you can get into game shape for the weekend!

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  20. Dude! Sorry the van's possessed. That sucks. I agree; vehicles should be made of Lego. Much easier to fix.

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  21. I don't even want to tell you what one of my fave, young waiters told me about his meaning for "salty dog", or "Dawg", as I like to call it. Ok, yes I do. It's icky.

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  22. one month celebration?
    Has your van been hanging out with my van? My van had a slight exorcism over the weekend. It is almost better now.

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  23. *snort*

    your front end is broke..

    Can I come to the aquarium? I haven't been to an aquarium in like.. forever.

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  24. I LOVE ten course Chinese banquets. I wish one of hubs relatives would get married so I can go to one.

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  25. I'm going to totally lose any street (and by street, I mean internet) cred I may or may not have right now by admitting that I *whispers* have never seen Jaws.

    I wasn't allowed when I was a kid and since then I've never felt the deisre to sit down and watch the whole thing since it's such a part of pop culture that I almost feel like I have seen it, so what would be the point?

    Don't hate me.

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  26. You know the sound Quint makes when he runs his nails on the chalkboard at the town meeting? That's the 3rd grade concert I just attended. It was painful.

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  27. I think your head RAWKS! Don't change a thing.

    I eat a ton of Chinese food for me.

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  28. My van is in the shop too! And only for the small sum of $90 an hour, or my first born can I get it back fixed...hopefully.

    Happy early b-day to your son!

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  29. The rental place probably gave you a vehicle you hate to ensure you want to return it.

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  30. Just for the record, I don't think blind people read your blog. I don't think they "get" your sense of humor.

    Either that or they're blind.

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  31. I h ope my new dodge does not get what your mini-van has - if it does, i'm really in the crapper. Oh and yeah, blogging is like time travel especially if you put a post to publish and it saves as adraft and you realize it 3 days later and have to go back and edit the darn thing and repost and make sure it posts this time! yep - such is life.

    oh, did you get liam to let you paint his bum?

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  32. Mmmmm, Barbeque. And Chinese? Mmmmm. Can you tell it's lunchtime?

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  33. don't tell anyone but that is one of my favorite movies!!

    I love that creepy guy.......Show me the way to go home.....

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  34. The only way I'm not stealing Quint is we trade lists. Oh, and I want a mountie too.

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  35. You plan good. I can't even tell what I'm having for dinner tonight.

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  36. Sorry u sold the Subaru, huh?
    Both u and your sister! Ok, so
    now you're going to throw the
    "Lada" purchase in my face.
    So the passenger seat came off it
    rails, it was just settling in.
    The battery cables snapping were
    just a strange happening. So shifing gears, one needed upper
    body strength training. It was
    a good learning experience. Yeah,
    that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
    Hope your Van is feeling better.
    Wish I was going to be down for
    little guy's birthday. Tell me how he likes his Chef Uniform!
    re Jaws-
    ps your brother is still scared
    of the ocean!

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  37. Lists ARE good. . .for exactly that reason.

    And minivans DO stink. . .for exactly that reason!

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  38. That Lego idea is genius. I knew I liked you for a reason. Happy 4th, kid.

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  39. Ten course Chinese? I'm SO there!

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  40. Lists work for me too! Seeing it in black and white sizes it all up wayyyyyyy better than having all the junk whizzing around loose in my brain!

    BTW ~~ You've been Tagged! Please stop by my blog when you have a chance!

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  41. ....Supposedly some husbands whine... Or that's what they tell me at least.. I'm lucky that mine doesn't :cough: lying :cough: but hey... they ask for the advice I give it to 'em.

    Thanks for stoppin by...
    Sorry the mini-van's makin' the crazee noise. I'm sure you can pull it off as cool though. Wi-Fi...highly unlikely.

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  42. I once read a story - a true one mind you - that mentioned how guys at this one Chrysler auto factory would take a large lug nut with a string tied to it, and fasten it to some unreachable place in a car/minivan so it would be banging around when driving. Hope that's all it is.

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  43. Can I come to Liam's birthday? PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PT Cruisers. I used to get them as rentals a lot when I traveled. You know why? Because NO ONE would buy them!!!!

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  44. LEGO CARS???? What I wouldn't GIVE! That is brilliant.

    (I love your header too.)

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  45. FOOD! I love food! Count me in! Let's see...if I hop in the car and leave now...I can be there in...5 days!

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  46. I love your header too; maybe you can squeeze Quint in or a Mountie...or not.

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  47. All I saw was "ten course Chinese banquet". Then I drowned in a puddle of my own drool.

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  48. You have a whole free day!!!! God stop complaining.

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  49. I quoted you by the way. Made your quote my Facebook Status. (And yes, I'm aware you don't like Facebook) My filipina/conservative/nut job of a mother commented on it and said that it was too violent and should use Facebook as my platform to rant. haha

    Just that.

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  50. Are you getting ready to eat?! 10 course Chinese buffet! You are a lucky man!

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Come on, sailor. I love you long time.