The other day one of the boys found a lollipop that one of them had brought home from a birthday and dad obviously didn't hide very well. Being the brilliant father that I am I decide to break it into pieces so both boys could share. I grab a hammer, put it on the floor, still in its wrapper, and whack it. Nothing happened. Again. Nothing happens. Third times a charm, I hit that SOB but good and it explodes. Everywhere.
I'm in the middle of stripping wallpaper from my bedroom. One night I'm brushing my teeth and looking at the walls and all the work that still needs doing and ask Supreme Leader if we can just mirror the entire room. Walls, floors and ceiling. As usual she's pretending I'm not even there, although I know it's because she's trying to resist my machismo by acting like she's reading a book. It occurs to me that a mirrored floor could be dangerous so I tell her that we would probably have to cover the mirrors with plexiglass. This leads to the brilliant idea of replacing the mirrored room with twin panes of plexiglass and then running water between them. And maybe even fish! Can you imagine?! It'd be like sleeping underwater!
Me: Do you want to sit or stand?
Liam: Sit, because sometimes my pee pee doesn't listen to me.
Today I'm walking to pick up Connor from kindergarten and notice a plane flying high over head. Then I notice a strange black line beneath it and take off my sunglasses to clean them. They were clean. I looked up without my glasses and realized it was the shadow of the jet's contrail on some thin cirrus cloud beneath it. No, there's no point, it just looked cool.
Check this out. It's called 1001 Rules For My Unborn Son and it's great.
Beyoncé came on the radio this afternoon while I was in the kitchen and Liam wanted to know why that lady was singing about Halo. Not that he's ever seen the game, of course. Ok, he's seen the game, once or twice. Ah hell, he's seen it a lot, but who else is going to teach him how to fight off xenophobic aliens bent on the eradication of humanity? The school system? They're not even ready for the zombie plague. Earthquakes? Whatever.
Go to Keely's, grab a button, join the fun!
Close Encounters of the Caymanian Kind
6 hours ago