So at some point in our collective history some poor bastard was starving bad enough that he/she had to eat an onion. "Hey, this thing makes my eyes feel like they've been stung by bees and I'm going to lose a few fingers just cutting it up, but it's either that or die. Hopefully that saber tooth tiger doesn't show up while I'm rolling around on the ground clutching my face and screaming." Guess what? I'M NOT STARVING! Why are we still torturing ourselves with these damn things?!
Yes, Supreme Leader is making me cook tonight, why?
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I am first!!!!you should be cooking dinner, after sitting home all day eating candy and watching soaps.....
ReplyDeleteYup, John cooks in our family. He bought an onion yesterday. Send us the recipe. Let's see how he acts.
ReplyDeleteTHIRD!!!
ReplyDeleteI love onions!! Although, they make me cry like a little girl. Which is different than any other time.
Have fun cooking!
Onions are awesome, carmelized, that is. Raw, I cry like a baby!!!
ReplyDeleteI feel for the poor bastard who discovered the little eye burning balls were editable.
We house fraus need to stick together and cook supper for our fams. I, too, chopped an onion tonight for Orange Juice Chicken. My 3-year-old exclaimed over and over that he doesn't like onions - then he and the 1-year-old ate it all up!
ReplyDeleteOh, butch up and get chopping. Put in extra, I love onions.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I'm gonna have to say either lift your skirt or bitch it down a bit. Onions are delicious. Did you know that I pronounce them "ong-uhns"? Bet you didn't. Drives husband nuts. I pronounce nuts "nuts". Nothing special there.
ReplyDeleteI have a quick chopper thingy just for dealing with onions. Works like a dream.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck with your cooking!
I almost don't feel like leaving a comment since I'm so far down on the list! I don't cook in our house, that's why I have a husband. He loves onions but only gets them when we're not sharing a dish. Good luck crybaby.
ReplyDeleteMost likely, once upon a time, an onion fell into a caveman's fire. It landed in a rock pan of melted butter and garlic and once sauteed it smelled so wonderful we've all been eating it ever since.
ReplyDeleteWhat'd you fix for dinner?
Two foodstuffs people complain about as lingering smells in the kitchen: onions and garlic. I love them both.
ReplyDeleteWe had salmon with a rice pilaf. The rice was a little on the wet side. I love eating onions, but that is the only involvement I want with them. Supreme Leader says I'm not a cry baby, just a baby who cries.
ReplyDeleteButch up? Bitch it down?
You made salmon with rice pilaf? I made Chicken Helper.
ReplyDeleteI suck.
Are you kidding me? Red onions are the Best Thing In The World. And then some.
ReplyDeleteEllie
it builds character.
ReplyDeleteLove the saber tooth tiger bit!
ReplyDeleteOnions suck. HARD.
ReplyDeleteBread.
ReplyDeleteEat a little bit of bread while chopping Onions.
Swear to Fonzie......it Works.
Wow. That is hands down, the best attempt at getting out of cooking I have EVER heard! You, my friend, are a genius.
ReplyDeletePsss....they are working on creating a tearless onion now. So, no more excuses.
ya, have fun with that. now that Lois gets home late I'm the full time chef. I can make the kids cry without the onions.
ReplyDeleteAwwww...lemme tell you what happens in college when you're promoted from busboy to cook's help. That's right, you get to cut all the damn onion. All freaking day. I'm immune now. It was either that or die. I chose life.
ReplyDeletei. hate. onions.
ReplyDeletethey turn my gut into a raging ball of fury... ouch. it makes me feel like my body is trying to mutilate itself from the inside out.
gas? whatever. all i know is I HAVE A RIGHT TO CHOOSE.
It does make you wonder who the first person was that decided they were edible. I love 'em though.
ReplyDeleteNow, mushrooms, I could go off on. They're freaking fungus, and they want to put that on my pizza? Uh uh.
i wear onion goggles when i have to chop onions. for reals. they work like a dream.
ReplyDelete