I have this ability, nay, this gift of being able to share my... essence with my wife. Before I go to bed every night, just before washing my face, I take off my shirt and throw it at her. No matter where I throw from, en suite, main bathroom, door way to our room, anywhere really, I have an almost instinctual ability to put in right on her head. I don't do it every night, I don't even plan it which makes it all the better because she never knows when it's coming. In fact, tonight (last night), just to test my super natural powers I threw it back hand, using my left and looking in the mirror. Right on target. And I don't throw it hard, oh no, it's all about finesse. I want that shirt to land gently and deliver every bit of aromatic love it can without losing any fragrance to a rough power shot. It's all about the love, y'all.
And yes I do pay, one hundred fold. She's small but she has the cold black vengeful heart of a Klingon. It's still worth it though. Every. Single. Time.
Sometimes, little boy, sometimes.
On a happy note, Krystal from Mommy's Escape is now (and earlier than planned) the new mother of Gabriella Crystal, 5 pounds 15 ounces and doing well. Congratulations.
**Also, thanks for all the pics sent in yesterday, I have ten already! Keep them coming!
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FIRST!? How awesome is that..
ReplyDeleteDude, you are so generous. I hope she appreciates you the way she should.
hmmm.. my 4yo just came out of the bathroom and announced 'I didn't need to barf, I needed to pee!'... thought you'd like to know.
see? i share too. i'm generous like that.
So you're of the shirt throwing species. I get dirty socks thrown at me at least once daily. Usually it's while I'm sitting here blogging. Jerk. Your backhand toss is very impressive.
ReplyDeleteWell at least it is better than the way my husband shares his essence. I am sure you can figure that one out on your own.
ReplyDeleteAhhh, a woman with a Klingon's heart. Rare and beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI'm a shoe leaver. Nothing as spectacular as your skill (and props, by the way). I'm always able to leave my shoes where my beautiful wife is sure to trip over them and go sprawling, splayed out like a Spring calf on a wet cement floor.
She also has the heart of a Klingon.
I could get behind the essence of shirt, but I can't get behind the essence of shorts or socks.
ReplyDeleteI've been misinformed.
ReplyDeleteI was told that marriage is about - the woman is always right and the man is always wrong ;)
You may have accurate aim with Supreme Leader, but how is your aim to the hamper? John can nail a shot to the bed, dresser, or me, but is woefully wrong in landing the shot in the hamper. WTF?
ReplyDeleteMen. Men men men men men. You are all the same.
ReplyDeleteI feel certain that one of these days Supreme Leader will have her vengeance. It will be swift and merciless.
Congrats to Krystal!
Oh, and I forgot: EIGHTH! And ninth, too.
ReplyDeleteYou've got skillz... and apparently an essence like none other!
ReplyDeleteHey, I have goats (or actually the hubs owns the goats, I just look at them from afar) and they stink! If that is your "essence" I would wear a mask.
ReplyDeleteMy hubs likes to share his essence by throwing his shorts at me. It's become this game of dodgeball that's only fun for him. And unfortunately for me, his aim is always right on.
Mark is more of a traditional kind of guy... he farts in bed and holds me down under the covers.
ReplyDeleteHey! I'm sending you a pic today or tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteUm, I love that throw stuff at Supreme Leader. If I'm in bed first and I'm watching television in the dark and hubby sneaks in to bed. I hurry and turn the television off so there is no light. His eyes haven't yet adjusted to the dark so it's sort of disorienting. We do it too each other. Also? If either of us gets out of bed to get a drink or something, the other one throws the missing person's pillow on the floor. We then pretend the pillow just "fell" on the floor. We're kind of mean like that.
u r so the best!!!
ReplyDeleteThat is a wonderful gift to share with your wife!
ReplyDeleteAnd I just turn off the lights in the bathroom and close the door while Car-man is showering. He's gotten rather proficient at locating the shampoo and his towel in the pitch black. He doesn't even complain anymore...which means I need to change up my game.
ReplyDeleteThat slightly goatlike smell all teenage boys possess.
ReplyDeleteTen Spooninja points to you if you know where that quote is from.
You are so sweet. Does your sweat hit her too? Awww loving it. Have to send you my pumpkin patch photo I suppose. Not sure they were very worthy this year. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI'm with Liam. You do smay yike a goat. It's kinda hot.
ReplyDeleteYou mean I can still send pictures from my house/neighborhood? It's not too late? Or are these...um...other kinds of pictures? Just asking.
ReplyDeletethe newest olympic sport! Spousal Shirt Tossing
ReplyDeletei wish his shirts were the only smelly things my husband sent my way...
ReplyDelete:)
that video is awesome.
Hey I tagged you for an award over at my place.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea what your son just said. lol Translate please!
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed with your essence throwing skills. heehee