Monday, August 4, 2008

Holiday Monday Breakfast

Wife: Are you doing anything?
Me: (spinning Liam around the kitchen & blowing raspberries in his neck) No.
Wife: Then cook the bacon.
Me: (pointing at the dials) What do I set this at?
Wife: Medium
Me: (opening freezer, looking but...)
Wife: It's in the fridge.
Me: (opening the fridge, looking but...)
Wife: It's in the door.
Me: It's about the way you said that...
Wife: Like you're an idiot?

PS. Do NOT fry bacon without a shirt on. Ribs and the little spot just below your armpit? Mad sensitive.

38 years of dumb, for your viewing pleasure.


  1. Your Supreme LeaderAugust 4, 2008 at 10:48 AM

    Cooking the bacon means putting the bacon in the pan on the stove and watching it. It doesn't mean put the pan on the stove with nothing in it and walk away, go play on the computer and forget about it!

  2. Also, do not try to fry bacon on your forehead using the power of will. If your will is strong enough, it will fry and it will hurt.

  3. Thanks SDN. I'd like to think my will is strong enough, but I have my doubts. I'd more likely end up having bacon grease roll into my eyes and contract trichinosis.

  4. That is why topless donut shops kind of scare me. Donuts are fried. And pouring hot coffee with your boobs akimbo? Just doesn't seem like a good idea, somehow.

  5. I'm sorry? Topless donut shops?

    I love Seattle.

  6. At least it wasn't a short stove and you were completely naked.

  7. TOPLESS DONUT SHOP!? Where do you live? In hell? In Europe?


Come on, sailor. I love you long time.