Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Brain Control

I've always had this image of the inside of my brain looking like one of Nasa's control centres. Huge banks of tv monitors and row after row of technicians and scientists in charge of specific systems. I wonder what that would look like...

Brain Control: Good morning, Body, this is Brain Control, can I have everyone return to their stations for today's pre-wake systems check. Ok, today is March the 5th, 2008, let's make it a good day. REM has been disabled and final dream is wrapping up. Consciousness?
Consc: Consciousness is warming up and on stand by. ETA on change over?
BC: Early estimates show change over to self consciousness to be slightly delayed this morning, we believe he'll wake up with or just before the alarm clock today. Thankfully the handover to sleep came early last night for a change.
(Sarcastic cheer from the control room with shouts of "it's about time.")
BC: Ok, ok, keep it down, let's get back to it. Consciousness?
Cons: We'll compensate for wake up time.
BC: Good. Ok, let's switch over to systems... Coronary?
Heart: Check. All systems running within parameters. We'd like to request another exercise reminder though.
BC: Noted. He is looking at another bike ride this week or weekend. The wife's new schedule is still causing problems.
Heart: Excuses...
BC: We know, we know... Ok, Respiratory?
Lungs: Ready. All systems green, ready to go back to full power. We'd also like to forward exercise request. We're running within parameters but we could be doing much better.
BC: Noted. Circulatory?
Blood: 5 by 5. White count is returning to normal as the back is healing quite nicely. We're good.
BC: Excellent. Excretory?
Excretory: Check. Bladder is full and all systems on-line, waiting for green light.
BC: Ok, major systems are go. We still have a few minutes, lets go through as many departments as we can before he's up. Alright, Skin, how is the back doing?
Skin: Healing is ahead of schedule, most scabs have detached, only larger ones remain. Itching is still an issue but he seems to be handling it fairly well. Need a reminder placed that he should not be rubbing the area, that while he's not using his nails even the friction from the skin on his hand can damage the sensitive areas.
BC: Good stuff. How we looking today?
Skin: Pretty good, no new blemishes to report today. He's switched to a new washing pad for his facial cleanser, less abrasive than old one. This is looking like a positive change. Do we have an ETA for the next tattoo session?
BC: End of May. This will be the last session and we're hearing that it will only be an hour to an hour and a half of work. We're almost there. Ok... looks like we're almost there... might start up with slight disorientation. Consciousness, we might need a prod to get him out of bed.
Consc: Ok, we're ready.
BC: Balance, readiness?
Inner ear: We're ready.
BC: Thank you. Ok, we're up people, let's start the countdown. Looks like he's waking up with the alarm today.
BC: Partial consciousness transfer... alarm clock off... Conscious, give him a shot.
Cons: Copy. There he goes.
BC: We're up. Clothes picked up, moving to door. Motor functions?
MF: Early on systems working within parameters, he's fine for stair decent.
BC: Alright, looking good people. Early reports?
Skin: He's cold. Remind him he could put on some clothes before going downstairs to turn on the coffee.
BC: Pre-established routine, he's not going to deviate. First thoughts?
Sub-conscious: Quite a jumble this morning. Unable to decipher initial thought, second was an idea for his story, and then rapid idea development for this blog.
BC: Good work team. Hand off to full consciousness is complete. Let's get to work.


  1. This reminds me of that Disney ride where they took you through the body of a 13 year old boy.


Come on, sailor. I love you long time.