Thursday, March 6, 2008

Brain Control 2: Sleep Disturbance

Because I had so much fun with yesterday's...

Heart: So what was your favourite?
Lungs: I loved the eliptical machine, that was a great workout.
Heart: True, that was...

ALARMS-people scrambling back to their desks, putting on headsets and grabbing checklists

Night Shift Supervisor: Report!
Emergency Response Team: Sir, Auditory picked up noises from the youngest child. May turn into a cry.
NSS: Ok, Adrenaline?
ERT: Adrenaline is on line and ready to go, all organs, muscle groups and Circulatory system have been alerted and are ready as well.
NSS: Ok then...what's the time?
ERT: 3:21am

Cry over the loudspeakers-control room, quiet until now, bursts into action.

ERT: Adrenaline pumped. He's fully awake.
NSS: Alright, looks like he's waiting to see if the boy will fall back asleep.
ERT: Sir, Auditory is requesting that the Eyes close to boost their signal strength.
NSS: Do it.

Second cry

ERT: Child is definately awake. He's up and leaving the bedroom. Circulatory reports full dispersal of Adrenaline, primary functions are all in the green.
NSS: Good stuff. Ok, to the child's room without accident then. And kneeling beside the bed... how are the knees?
ERT: Noisey but they're not reporting any pain. They don't recommend him holding this position for too long.
NSS: Child Assessment?
Night Shift Child Manager (Liam): Sir, we believe the child has woken up from a mildly disturbing dream. The arrival of a parent has already relaxed him back into semi-consciousness. Our suggestion of soothing words and a gentle rubbing of the head seems to be doing the trick.
NSS: Excellent.
ERT: Sir, the Lower Intestine and Sphincter are requesting a gas release. Apparently this sitting position is putting a great deal of pressure on the Sphincter.
NSS: Let's see the numbers on screen. Wow, that's a big one. Look at the estimated decibil level. Child Assessment, what will his response be?
CA: Definite laughter, regardless of sleepiness. It will bring him back to consciousness.
NSS: That's what I figured. Ok, negative to gas release. Bladder looks to be full, tell them they can release at the same time once the child has been dealt with.

5 minutes later...

NSS: Alright, good work people. He's back in bed and drifting off.

34 minutes later... 4am

NSS: What the hell was that?
ERT: First born is awake and calling for help, sir. We're all ready but he'll be sluggish this time around.
NSS: Ok, let's get him up before First Born wakes up Second.
ERT: Sir! Right knee reports receiving "I'll get him" signal tap from wife.
NSS: Good. Ok, wind him down. Unfortunately the damage is done, advise morning crew that he'll need additional coffee this morning. Let's try and make this last hour as relaxing as possible. So much for the early bedtime.


  1. This....was brilliant. Especially the gas part.

  2. I can remember trying not to laugh as it was happening.


Come on, sailor. I love you long time.