Dr. Seuss Therapy

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the one who’ll decide where to go.

— Dr. Seuss

Endings

Saturday I finally finished my tattoo. Five sessions, twenty-three hours of work, twenty hours of driving back and forth to Seattle and who knows how long waiting at the border and it's finally done. Once it's healed for a few days I'll put up a picture.

In an ironic twist of fate, this week also marked the end of my job. Wednesday afternoon my department found out we've been "centralized" to Toronto. It's been a long week. At least last year when Bernadette's place closed down they knew it was coming. It still sucked, but they'd been talking about it for awhile. This was out of nowhere. Thank goodness I'm already in therapy! Speaking of, kudos to my therapist who decided we should do a little crisis management and actually role played me through telling Bern. I hate role playing, but it definitely helped dropping that bomb.

So ya, August 28th and my 13 (ha ha!) years at my company come to an end. Well, unless I find something else there, but positions at my level are scarce and the idea of dropping a level... we'll see. "At my level," sounds like I'm upper management or something and not just another slave at the oar. At least with thirteen years under my belt I've got a good package. Oh, so many many jokes in that last sentence...

Anyway, that was my week. If you know anybody who's hiring or you need any odd jobs done around the house, let me know. I've got some free time soon.

So here's the thing, I'm seeing a therapist. Have been for almost two months. I haven't really told anybody about it until now, not because I'm embarrassed by it or anything, quite the opposite. This is probably the best thing I've ever done for myself, and if I wasn't so stupid I would have done this a long time ago. Then again, if I had, I probably wouldn't have ended up with my therapist and that would have really sucked, because J, you are amazing.

I guess the reason I'm admitting it is that I know a lot of people who could really benefit from seeing one themselves and if I can come out and say, hey, I know I look like I'm happy and stable and all but really, I'm kinda fucked up, maybe that could make it easier for someone else too. Not to mention, I can probably get a few funny stories out of it.

The reason I'm seeing a therapist isn't really anybody else's business and I don't plan on getting into details. Well, unless it can get a laugh, of course. There are some of you who will know the 'big picture' reason why I've gone to a therapist and I thank each and every one of you who offered to talk if I needed it. Thing is, there was so much more to it than you could have helped with. I needed a professional to help me even understand what it was that was wrong. I needed more than friends and family telling me what I wanted to hear, I needed somebody to kick over some rocks, somebody to pick at the scabs and poke holes in the walls.

Anyway, that's that. I've got it off my chest and I feel better and that's what it's all about.