Dear Connor, today is your first day of school. You don't know it yet, but your carefree life is about to change in a hurry. Gone are the days of lazing about the house, wandering from the Wii to the computer to whatever toy holds your fancy today and back to the tv for the latest Pixar fave. You're entering the real world now. Peer pressure, bullies, ADHD and prescription meds... girls. Academia is full of some crazy motherfuckers, son, and you need to be prepared. Sure I could have spent this weekend throwing cash around on new clothes and shoes and all the other back to school crap, but instead I made you something with my own two hands. Something you can really use, something that could save your life. Now I'm not suggesting you shank anybody before you even get to grade one, but the shit ever hits the fan, you know daddy's still got your back. You wave your little Piglet shiv around to the right people, let them know who's who. This ain't pre-school, hon, this is kindergarten. You're in the big leagues now. Make me proud.
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