Conversations With Co-workers

Texting a friend who's going to Vegas today

CW: Why are old people so annoying?
Me: You'll be old and crotchety one day.
CW: I know… shit… I am selling my mom and grandpa…for cheap
Me: I'll ask around. Airport already?
CW: No, soon. Hate to fly… I watched Snakes on a Plane… scared.
Me: Ha ha! You're dumb. If you see Samuel Jackson on the plane, get me an autograph.
CW: Who's that
Me: Bald black guy from the movie.
CW: I kick his ass.
Me: I don't doubt it. When you back?
CW: Saturday.
Me: Well, have fun and don't kill your family. Nevada has the death penalty.
CW: I kill myself
Me: Can I have your chair? (She has an awsome chair. You know those gel pads you can get for your shoes? Imagine that for your ass.)

My Co-Workers, Just Now...

CW1: Can I stab you with a pencil?
CW2: Wha...?
CW1: Stop it with all the "dear's" and "honey's."

Good morning.

Conversations With Co-workers

One of my co-workers, let's call her Tenderloin, is getting married this year. Right now she's busy looking at some kind of wedding website.

T: What's a 'candle-bra?'
Me: You mean candelabra?