Texting a friend who's going to Vegas today
CW: Why are old people so annoying?
Me: You'll be old and crotchety one day.
CW: I know… shit… I am selling my mom and grandpa…for cheap
Me: I'll ask around. Airport already?
CW: No, soon. Hate to fly… I watched Snakes on a Plane… scared.
Me: Ha ha! You're dumb. If you see Samuel Jackson on the plane, get me an autograph.
CW: Who's that
Me: Bald black guy from the movie.
CW: I kick his ass.
Me: I don't doubt it. When you back?
Me: Well, have fun and don't kill your family. Nevada has the death penalty.
CW: I kill myself
Me: Can I have your chair? (She has an awsome chair. You know those gel pads you can get for your shoes? Imagine that for your ass.)
Bowler rolls a perfect 300 game in just 90 seconds
12 hours ago