Saturday Morning Birth Control

Liam: (crying, crawling into my lap as I'm reading Sleep Deprivation Ninja) Daddy! I want to watch Little Einstein's not Tiger and Pooh!

Me: Um...ok...(tv is not on) I'll go get it out of the van.

Liam: (tears magically gone) Yay!

Out to the carport in my boxers because it's 8am on Saturday morning and I'll only be out for a second so who's going to notice...

Neighbour: Morning Chad.

Me: (shit) Hey

Back inside, movie in, back to the computer.

Liam: (running across the kitchen and jumping in my lap) It's the WRONG one! I want the caterpillar one!

Me: (hunched over, face on table because he has jumped on a testicle crushing the possibility of a new brother or sister) ....gasp... cough... give daddy a moment...

Liam: Daddy, why are you crying?

Why Men Don't Take The Pill

I have one thing I have to remember to do each day, take my glucosamine with breakfast and dinner. Pretty simple. In theory. Do you think I can do this with any kind of regularity? I was born with congenital hip dislocation which is usually caught in your first check up straight out of the womb. Usually. Guess the nurses at my delivery were busy doing... something else besides their jobs. I don't know, it was the first year of All My Children, maybe they were talking about that. Anyway, I didn't discover it until about two decades later after wondering why I kept suffering so much ankle/shin/knee/lower back pain when I ran. I need to take the glucosamine to keep my hips happy. To help keep me from being a shrivelled up old man in constant pain. I have good reasons to take these pills.

This is all a round about way of saying that if we relied on me taking birth control pills we'd have 10 kids and live in a trailer park.