Where's Optimus Prime when you need him?
Had a great piece of blog fodder for this week but I was told that if I used it I would be cut off. Too bad, it was funny. Well, funny to me.
Along with neglecting my blog, the combination of baby/new job also lead to me ignoring my lawn/garden all summer. When Sunday rolled around this past weekend and it was still abnormally warm(ish) and sunny, Supreme Leader ordered me out to cut the lawn. Apparently she has issues with the grass being over her head when she has to venture out to the herb garden. Anyway, with my rental combine fired up and ready to go I set out on a day long attack on the jungle that my backyard had become. Concerned about the habitat loss for tigers in India and Bangladesh? No worries, I've found them a safe new home. I also discovered several new species of plants and three new species of frogs, all of which I have named after myself. I wish I was joking. If you don't know what a combine is, think a lawn mower for wheat that costs more than your house, or the big machine that chased Lightning McQueen and Mater when they were tipping tractors.
From a pie chart I found and promptly lost a week ago:
Muslims worldwide: 1.5 billion
Population of the United States: 307 million
Number of Americans who practise Islam: 18 million
Estimated number of Islamic extremists who actually belong to Al-Queda: less than 1000
My children in a nutshell. Emphasis on the nut.
Liam: Surprising is my business.
Connor: You shouldn't base jump when you're pregnant.
Speaking of frogs.
Really nowhere to go after that. Today's post was brought to you by the letter T and Keely, the Un-Mom.
Kermit Little Monks Hospitality Decepticon
Posts
It wasn't quite time to mow yet because you hadn't lost a kid in there yet. That's the real indicator.
ReplyDeleteoh it must be some good stuff to get the cut off threat...lol. what is that monstrous decepticon...how does he cast his voice like that in the vid...smiles.
ReplyDeleteSend that pie chart to Bill O'Reilly. I don't support a fella being cut off, but would love to know the *funny*.
ReplyDeleteQuite frankly, I'm surprised that with 3 kids (one that's less than 6 months old) you have anything to be cut off from. Props for that, at least.
ReplyDeleteAmazing how less than 1,000 have whole countries living in fear. I want that power.
I think that means you have to distribute the "funny" by email...sorry, SL, but humor trumps all. That soldier should be careful about that tea. They make it with yak's butter in Afghanistan.
ReplyDeleteThat's some fine, fine randoming there.
ReplyDeleteOn the list of job/kids/lawn mowing... you have my permission to blow off that last one. It just makes sense.
We might have to borrow your combine at the rate our grass keeps growing and the hubby hasn't had time to go out and cut it. Wonder if you scared any of those tigers into our neck of the woods?
ReplyDeleteMust have been premium blog fodder... ;)
RTT: Costume Decision, Ship's Bell and HDTV
Glad to know Im not the only one dancing to the theme music from hawaii 5.0 ;)
ReplyDeletetwist, shout, groove to the move, jump, dancing the night away.....
ReplyDeletewhat?
your watching....no no no.....no don't watch me shake my groove thing. But...you can join in....I have the cd to all the great tv theme songs.
There is an Islamic Center & Mosque in a nearby suburb that is constantly being defaced with bacon. Might I remind you that I live in the so-called "Bible Belt" where a Church is present on every corner and everyone preaches the love of Christ.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy these random snippets from you. You're busy, just let us know you're alive every now-and-then.
Your kids are brilliant. Love it.
ReplyDeleteLove the mini monks with their lanyards and name tags. Are they at some kind of mini monk conference?
The dude in the video was REALLY getting into his performance...it was good though :) Seriously. I liked it. Yeah, I'm one of those weird people.
ReplyDeleteIn order of their appearance:
ReplyDeleteHawaii 5-O would have made my mom dance a jig. If she were alive, that is.
I disagree. Demorol kicks Morphines butt.
Another Trump tower going up?
One of those sweet bald kids clearly needs more sleep.
Perhaps you could ask your Supreme Leader to write a guest post on how to effectively order your subordinates around. Some of us fail miserably in that department.
You found and lost a pie? I hope there were no bugs. Of course, there would be more to name after yourself. I've heard there's power in numbers.
Are those men comparing urine samples?
A beautiful example of parallel play.
Love it! Venting never sounded so good!
Those kids aren't old enough to be sent out with the combine? What the hell do we have kids for, if not cheap labour?
ReplyDeleteWhy is that guy offering a cup of urine to that soldier? Awkward.
ReplyDeleteYour boys have deep thoughts.
YES!!! I love the hawaii 5-0 theme music - i love the throwback to the original with the footage.....i MISS theme music....welcome back kotter, three's company, bewitched.....who is gonna hum Grey's Anatomy theme music in 20 years? or Glee's? sigh
ReplyDeleteGreat Randomness. Been there with the lawn. And the Seattledad frog might be related to the Dumbass frog. Just sayin.
ReplyDeleteI shall remember not to get pregnant to prevent my nascent basejumping career from taking off.
ReplyDeleteIf you are lucky it will be the last mow of the season. Great work on saving the earth and letting the grass breath.
ReplyDeleteI think you've got "random" totally nailed.
ReplyDeleteHawaii 50 is awesome.
ReplyDeleteThe pie chart is awesome.. could probably fill it in for any racial/religious group. Tolerance.
After 11 days in the hospital last year I can affirm that morphine IS the best drug. That said, it also turns your insides into concrete. Just a warning. You're welcome.
ReplyDeleteVicadins are pretty great too.
ReplyDeleteEllie
The red car might be a Decepticon.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if that guy's little green buddies know any Beatles...
I saw that pie chart too, but don't remember where. It really says a lot, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteMorphine is the best medicine, that's hilarious!! And true!
That's why you need a riding mower like we have. You can get drunk and swerve to avoid trees and it's all in a day's work.
ReplyDeleteAfter we went to Hawaii for vacation this summer, all of my hubby's office buddies would hum the Hawaii 5-0 theme song around him and laugh. He didn't have a clue what was up because he had never seen the show until he saw a clip of it on Youtube. He was totally embaressed! I love your kids deep thoughts!
ReplyDeleteI want some new species and things named after me. Except diseases. That would be bad.
ReplyDeleteSobering statistics. Woooo, never knew.
Under Pressure is a fave. Isn't that guy awesome? Now I shall always think of Kermie when I hear that song.
Glad to see ya back in the saddle...in the backyard mowing that is! Great quote from the kids, though a little disturbing.
ReplyDeleteUsed to love Hawaii five O but they never show it on British TV. Still get Columbo on daily though.
ReplyDeleteWe love the new Hawaii Five-0. What tickles me the most is that the opening montage is almost shot for shot a remake of the original. Plus it's McGarrett's actual car!
ReplyDeleteI used to want to marry him when I was seven.
Oooohhhh...being cut off...must have been really really good....maybe you could share it in code...
ReplyDeleteThe 4th photo -- I love it.
ReplyDeleteI loved Hawaii 5 O or was it that gorgeous hunk of a man? Definiely need to borrow your combine for the overgrown weeds in our side yard. And I agree with Chris... about sending the pie chart to Bill O'Reilly.
ReplyDeletePie chart also must be sent to Glenn Back, though O'Really has been the biggest Muslim-basher of late.
ReplyDeleteI hate when they pull the "be cut off" trick! Those ARE the best blog fodder! Rats!
ReplyDeleteLoved the Homeless guy Kermit vid. I might use that on FB or something. :)