It's Tuesday in all it's juicy Tuesdaylisousness. Go to Keely's and join in the mayhem.
Wife: I love fresh blood.
Wife: *suspicious look* Fresh bread.
Me: *nervous laughter* Oh ya. Mmmm. Heh heh.
We were in the liquor store Saturday night and I found a bottle of Macallan scotch that had been bottled in 1948. It was $13,000. Thirteen thousand dollars.
Peanut butter and jelly pillows.
Liam: I'm using my nose to vacuum my nose! *SNIFF*
My sister is awesome.
If you ever have to wash your bath mat because say, your four year old hurled on it after combining dinner with rhythmic gymnastics and hey, wasn't that a great idea? Maybe we'll listen to mommy and daddy next time but probably not since *love you* you have less sense than a dog. Where was I? Right. Anyway, maybe don't wash it with the rest of your clothes. Not that I did, I'm just saying that maybe you know somebody who would and it might be a good idea just to advise them so they avoid some... issues and look I know what you're thinking and whatever, ok, like you never stuck anything in the wash that you regretted afterwards? Excuse me, Martha Stewart. And 'afterwards' is spelled correctly stupid spellcheck. What the hell, did that program get farmed out to a country who's first language isn't English?
I was talking to one of Connor's classmates mother the other day and she told me about a friend of hers who just found out that not only are her two year old twins extremely allergic to peanut butter but her four year old has type one diabetes. At the children's hospital after being diagnosed she had her daughter in the bathroom for a potty break before heading home. Sitting on the toilet the little girl says, "It is what it is mommy, we just have to get used to it." The mother breaks down and bear hugs her brave little girl who tolerates it for a few minutes before asking, "Mommy, could you pull up my pants." Kids.
Tony Stark as Sherlock Holmes.
Hey, psst, do you have your blog set to allow emails back on your comments? If you just said/thought, huh, that means you don't. What it does is allows the blogger you left a comment to to respond to you with an email. So when you leave me a comment and maybe ask me a question I can respond back to you right away since I can't always make it back to your blog the same day. Or the day after and you don't think, what a dick, who does he think he is, Dooce? Well I don't, and I don't think Dooce is a dick either, but there's only so many blogs I can read a day and I really really do love you. Really. Where's that smile? Where is it? THERE IT IS! See, that's how much I love you. A million times a gajillion.
*psst* Anyone who actually knows what I'm talking about up there... could you maybe explain it in a comment, cause I've actually forgotten how you do it, or even what it's called. You may not have noticed from the subtle way I danced around the issue, I'm wily like that.
* Random in Hebrew and Tuesday in Old English.