Dear last occupant of my house who painted what apparently was a frat house, when I figure out how this DNA resequencer works I'm going to clone you through your hair you left on the walls and painted over and then I'm going medieval on your ass. Throwing paint on a wall is not an acceptable means of getting the job done.
Did you know that if you leave half a case of ginger ale under the stairs for... a few seasons, the cans will somehow empty themselves so that when you're digging around in the Christmas ornaments for some fishing line to hang up a fuc- a model airplane you just built for your son and you finally decide to get rid of them you find empty cans that are still sealed? For reals. The cans were empty. I couldn't even hear air coming out when I squeezed them. I knew I smelled something funny down there.
Once again I missed meeting up with Tracy from Kaply Inc while visiting Seattle. She probably thinks I'm not real, a fictional character or something. Well I am fictional, but once I've collected a few more souls I'll be able to assume corporeal form and walk amongst the living again. Er, forget that last sentence. Heh. I did get to speak to her on the phone though. She didn't sound anything like I thought she would, but then she started swearing at me and the warm fuzzies came back.
Have you ever ran a piece of paper towel around the rim of a soup can or some frozen OJ? (no, I always make my soup from scratch, it's just an example (screw you!)) If you've never done it, give it a try. I guarantee you'll always do it afterwards. *dry heave*
If I lived on Pluto I'd weigh 13 pounds. If I lived on the Sun I'd weigh 5280 pounds. Hips ahoy!
Saturday we were at the Flight Museum in Seattle. They had a B-17 they were taking people up in for an extortionate amount of money. Even so, Connor has such a love of WWII aircraft we did consider it, but decided against it figuring the noise would scare the crap out of him. Towards the end of our visit I took him outside to see it take off again but it was already gone. As we stood there a jet fighter came screaming, and let me emphasize SCREAMING down the runway. At first I assumed it was an F-18 (ladies, you can tune out here) but by the time it past us I'm pretty sure the colour scheme was wrong and it was actually a Russian Mig because I thought I saw a red star on it. I say 'thought' because it was moving too fast for my eyes to relay the info to my brain. Then its nose lifted and it rocketed into the sky. I'm pretty sure Connor thought it was the harbinger of end times. Well, if he knew what that meant, anyway. I sacrificed my own hearing to save my son's by covering his ears. Sure my brain liquified, but I'm pretty sure that was the coolest part of my trip.
Bill Maher monologue on the Swine Flu. "You know how many people have died this year already from the regular normal flu flu? Lets call it the flu flu. 13,000. 13,000 people died from that. The swine flu? One. What does the flu flu have to do to get some attention, fuck a goat?"
Last 10 songs iTunes threw up while writing this:
1. Dancing In The Moonlight - Toploader
2. Come Monday - Jimmy Buffett
3. Spilt Milk - The Cure
4. Little Wing - Jimmy Hendrix
5. Swimming Pools - Thao Nguyen
6. Courage - The Tragically Hip
7. Six Months In A Leaky Boat - Split Enz
8. Everything - Michael Bublé
9. Ain't No Way - Aretha Franklin
10. Something So Strong - Crowded House
Keely's. Go, join the Dark Side.