Wednesday, March 18, 2009

House of Pain


Wii: Where have you been?
Me: I... we were on holiday.
Wii: You've been gone for days.
Me: Well, we went to visit my family, we haven't been up there since last fall.
Wii: And did you excercise while you were gone?
Me: Um... well... we didn't really have the time. It was cold up there.
Wii: Really? And you ate healthy?
Me: ...
Wii: Did cholesterol take a vacation too?
Me: My knee has been a little sore lately...
Wii: I'm going to hurt you. You should know that right now.
Me: It's only been a few days, come on.
Wii: 'Only a few days.' A few days of eating like a pig, not exercising and ignoring me.
Me: You don't have to make this personal.
Wii: Sometimes I wonder if you really love me...
Me: What?
Wii: I only hurt you because I care about you.
Me: You're making me uncomfortable.
Wii: I own your bitch ass, don't forget that.

47 comments:

  1. Run! I heard that wii lady gets really nasty!

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  2. I knew there was a reason I've been avoiding taking the wii fit out of the box. I'll keep that bitch in there a little longer.

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  3. Wii Fit is how the terrorists are going to win.

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  4. Has anyone checked Ms. Wii's testosterone levels?

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  5. Dude, you should so tell your wife that Wii Fit is trying to take over her role. She will take care of the problem for you.

    P.S> Good luck moving tomorrow!

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  6. And this is why I just don't exercise in teh first place.

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  7. LMAO. My Wii Fit trainer is way too nice. She's always telling me how good I am at stuff, and she never hurts me...not to rub it in or anything, lol.

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  8. Hmmm. Looks like Wii Fit and The Gym have some serious relationship issues. I suggest counseling for them and a donut (or two) for you.

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  9. Yeah, so I was really considering getting an extra Wii for our house so I could hide in my office and do it...you've changed my mind. She looks like one scary bitch.

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  10. Ok, maybe I don't want to buy one... All they need to do is put Jillian Michaels on there and we'd all be toast. Maybe that would be a good thing? Who knows! I hope you're not limping too horribly this morning!

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  11. mmm. Too bad, dude. Once they have their claws in you...

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  12. Oh! She reminds me of HAL from 2001: A space Odyssey. Very bossy! I feel for you. She's gonna hurt you bad!

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  13. I think you two should take some time out for counselling. Plus, they serve cookies there.

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  14. This sounds like an unhealthy relationship. I'm going to email you with the number of a safehouse.

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  15. Hahaha yes Wii Fit does sound a little overly concerned sometimes...

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  16. I hear the new Wii accessory will be the big ol' gun from the Atari duck hunt game. Your mission will be to plug the Wii trainer full of holes...

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  17. My wii makes light saber noises then laughs like the emperor. Am I doing it wrong?

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  18. Our friends brought down the Wii for us to try out.

    Fun but I think I'll stick to kicking soccer balls at the neighbor's car.

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  19. My DS Brain Training shouts at me. So I made it go away. Far, far away.

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  20. And she seems so nice looking at that pic of her with her fake boobs.

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  21. Well, now I'm scared shitless to turn on my Wii Fit! I haven't been on it in about a month ... studying frantically, and no time for exercise. She's gonna beat me up, isn't she? Oh ... crap ...

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  22. Jeez.

    Sounds like a scene out of 'Misery'.

    If that Digital gal comes at you with a Sledgehammer...run.

    Or just pull the Plug.

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  23. I have said it once I will say it again - I am really rethinking the whole Wii and fitness combination - truly, you guys are scaring me!

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  24. Go back on your vacation. You'll feel batter!

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  25. Glad to know you have HAL as your personal trainer...

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  26. Why don't you ask Wii lady if she's like a nice big glass of water? I'm sure you'd be happy to get one for her...

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  27. umm your Wii is getting a bit Fatal Attraction on you. You might want to remind her who is boss.

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  28. Hahahhahhahaha so I suppose I should hide my beer the next time I get on the board???


    Don't want her to scold me for drinking and working out!

    HAPPY HUMP DAY!

    - Jennifer

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  29. don't connect her to the internet..... she will follow you everywhere!

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  30. At the main menu, go into settings, customize and turn the wii fit aggression setting from 'crazy bitch' down to 'happy go lucky'...you'll notice a huge improvement.

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  31. Good thing I'm not training you. I'm much meaner.

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  32. They need to come out with a wii game that builds your self esteem back up, after wii fit tears it down.

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  33. oh my. I thought you switched to the dude with the barely visible bulge in his pants?

    This wouldn't have been as funny had you put his picture up.

    One day I predict one of us will lose a bet where the penalty for losing is video footage of us doing the hoola hoop on the high skill level. How humiliating.

    maybe we should bet on when America invades you for Canada's natural resources? I say 2011

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  34. you think she's bad? try maya from My Fitness Coach...she will totally kick your ass! lol and let me tell you, when she gets through w you and you run back to miss wii fit, you'll be the one owning that bitch haha :)

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  35. I stick to "Bob" on the Wii. He's not as mean. But I do take it
    personally when he tells me, "this
    isn't your forte, is it? Let him
    try balancing on one leg, with
    his arms up in the air, while 2 dogs jump at u.
    Hint=next time you travel, hook up on Wii internet, then you can get
    credit for your workout. Otherwise, you get no credit.
    or put her on mute!

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  36. decided to up my fitness coach workout from 15 to 30 mins. maya kicked my mother bleeping ass to next sunday lol

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  37. I've been taking a break from my Wii lately since he said some really unpleasant things. I'm so scared to go back.

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  38. Oh that bitch! With her soothing voice and making my Mii all fat and blobby and reminding me I've stayed away for 169 days. Well, if you didn't insult me so much and spend so much time in between games and yakking and yakking, maybe I'd come back, Wii Fit Lady!

    And I totally LOVE the new header. Too funny.

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Come on, sailor. I love you long time.