Wednesday, March 18, 2009

House of Pain


Wii: Where have you been?
Me: I... we were on holiday.
Wii: You've been gone for days.
Me: Well, we went to visit my family, we haven't been up there since last fall.
Wii: And did you excercise while you were gone?
Me: Um... well... we didn't really have the time. It was cold up there.
Wii: Really? And you ate healthy?
Me: ...
Wii: Did cholesterol take a vacation too?
Me: My knee has been a little sore lately...
Wii: I'm going to hurt you. You should know that right now.
Me: It's only been a few days, come on.
Wii: 'Only a few days.' A few days of eating like a pig, not exercising and ignoring me.
Me: You don't have to make this personal.
Wii: Sometimes I wonder if you really love me...
Me: What?
Wii: I only hurt you because I care about you.
Me: You're making me uncomfortable.
Wii: I own your bitch ass, don't forget that.
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47 comments:

  1. mo.stoneskinMarch 18, 2009 at 12:27 AM

    Jump Around!

    Jump!

    Jump!

    Jump!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 18, 2009 at 12:46 AM

    Run! I heard that wii lady gets really nasty!

    ReplyDelete
  3. LauraMarch 18, 2009 at 2:56 AM

    I knew there was a reason I've been avoiding taking the wii fit out of the box. I'll keep that bitch in there a little longer.

    ReplyDelete
  4. KurtMarch 18, 2009 at 3:50 AM

    Wii Fit is how the terrorists are going to win.

    ReplyDelete
  5. unmitigated meMarch 18, 2009 at 3:58 AM

    Is her name Annie by any chance?

    ReplyDelete
  6. The Dental MavenMarch 18, 2009 at 4:22 AM

    Has anyone checked Ms. Wii's testosterone levels?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wicked Step MomMarch 18, 2009 at 4:54 AM

    Dude, you should so tell your wife that Wii Fit is trying to take over her role. She will take care of the problem for you.

    P.S> Good luck moving tomorrow!

    ReplyDelete
  8. michelleMarch 18, 2009 at 5:10 AM

    And this is why I just don't exercise in teh first place.

    ReplyDelete
  9. EricMarch 18, 2009 at 5:19 AM

    dude, Wii Fit scares me...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) MommyMarch 18, 2009 at 5:21 AM

    LMAO. My Wii Fit trainer is way too nice. She's always telling me how good I am at stuff, and she never hurts me...not to rub it in or anything, lol.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousMarch 18, 2009 at 5:24 AM

    That should be an SNL skit...

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousMarch 18, 2009 at 6:54 AM

    Hmmm. Looks like Wii Fit and The Gym have some serious relationship issues. I suggest counseling for them and a donut (or two) for you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The Stiletto MomMarch 18, 2009 at 7:26 AM

    Yeah, so I was really considering getting an extra Wii for our house so I could hide in my office and do it...you've changed my mind. She looks like one scary bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ms. SaltiMarch 18, 2009 at 7:32 AM

    Ok, maybe I don't want to buy one... All they need to do is put Jillian Michaels on there and we'd all be toast. Maybe that would be a good thing? Who knows! I hope you're not limping too horribly this morning!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sprite's KeeperMarch 18, 2009 at 7:37 AM

    Have you tried unplugging her?

    ReplyDelete
  16. wendysitoMarch 18, 2009 at 7:41 AM

    mmm. Too bad, dude. Once they have their claws in you...

    ReplyDelete
  17. JoanieMarch 18, 2009 at 8:00 AM

    Oh! She reminds me of HAL from 2001: A space Odyssey. Very bossy! I feel for you. She's gonna hurt you bad!

    ReplyDelete
  18. KeelyMarch 18, 2009 at 8:13 AM

    I think you two should take some time out for counselling. Plus, they serve cookies there.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Steam Me Up, KidMarch 18, 2009 at 8:35 AM

    This sounds like an unhealthy relationship. I'm going to email you with the number of a safehouse.

    ReplyDelete
  20. TeriMarch 18, 2009 at 9:05 AM

    Hahaha yes Wii Fit does sound a little overly concerned sometimes...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Mrs. C.March 18, 2009 at 9:06 AM

    I hear the new Wii accessory will be the big ol' gun from the Atari duck hunt game. Your mission will be to plug the Wii trainer full of holes...

    ReplyDelete
  22. RebekahMarch 18, 2009 at 9:40 AM

    My wii makes light saber noises then laughs like the emperor. Am I doing it wrong?

    ReplyDelete
  23. PAPATVMarch 18, 2009 at 9:43 AM

    Our friends brought down the Wii for us to try out.

    Fun but I think I'll stick to kicking soccer balls at the neighbor's car.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anna RussellMarch 18, 2009 at 9:47 AM

    My DS Brain Training shouts at me. So I made it go away. Far, far away.

    ReplyDelete
  25. sassy stephanieMarch 18, 2009 at 9:55 AM

    And she seems so nice looking at that pic of her with her fake boobs.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Momma TrishMarch 18, 2009 at 10:12 AM

    Well, now I'm scared shitless to turn on my Wii Fit! I haven't been on it in about a month ... studying frantically, and no time for exercise. She's gonna beat me up, isn't she? Oh ... crap ...

    ReplyDelete
  27. cIIIMarch 18, 2009 at 10:48 AM

    Jeez.

    Sounds like a scene out of 'Misery'.

    If that Digital gal comes at you with a Sledgehammer...run.

    Or just pull the Plug.

    ReplyDelete
  28. BelleMarch 18, 2009 at 10:50 AM

    I hate that bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousMarch 18, 2009 at 11:09 AM

    I have said it once I will say it again - I am really rethinking the whole Wii and fitness combination - truly, you guys are scaring me!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Liz Wilkey (a.k.a. A Mom on Spin)March 18, 2009 at 11:23 AM

    Go back on your vacation. You'll feel batter!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Jenny GraceMarch 18, 2009 at 11:33 AM

    Glad to know you have HAL as your personal trainer...

    ReplyDelete
  32. BloggymommyMarch 18, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    LOL! That is too funny!

    ReplyDelete
  33. CakeletMarch 18, 2009 at 12:00 PM

    Why don't you ask Wii lady if she's like a nice big glass of water? I'm sure you'd be happy to get one for her...

    ReplyDelete
  34. KatMarch 18, 2009 at 12:01 PM

    umm your Wii is getting a bit Fatal Attraction on you. You might want to remind her who is boss.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Jennifer and SandiMarch 18, 2009 at 1:52 PM

    Hahahhahhahaha so I suppose I should hide my beer the next time I get on the board???


    Don't want her to scold me for drinking and working out!

    HAPPY HUMP DAY!

    - Jennifer

    ReplyDelete
  36. AnonymousMarch 18, 2009 at 5:03 PM

    don't connect her to the internet..... she will follow you everywhere!

    ReplyDelete
  37. CameronMarch 18, 2009 at 6:10 PM

    At the main menu, go into settings, customize and turn the wii fit aggression setting from 'crazy bitch' down to 'happy go lucky'...you'll notice a huge improvement.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Cape Cod GalMarch 18, 2009 at 6:47 PM

    Good thing I'm not training you. I'm much meaner.

    ReplyDelete
  39. SherendipityMarch 18, 2009 at 7:59 PM

    They need to come out with a wii game that builds your self esteem back up, after wii fit tears it down.

    ReplyDelete
  40. ChurchPunkMomMarch 18, 2009 at 9:41 PM

    sissy.

    ReplyDelete
  41. FoNMarch 18, 2009 at 10:44 PM

    Fucking Padme.

    ReplyDelete
  42. The Panic RoomMarch 18, 2009 at 10:59 PM

    oh my. I thought you switched to the dude with the barely visible bulge in his pants?

    This wouldn't have been as funny had you put his picture up.

    One day I predict one of us will lose a bet where the penalty for losing is video footage of us doing the hoola hoop on the high skill level. How humiliating.

    maybe we should bet on when America invades you for Canada's natural resources? I say 2011

    ReplyDelete
  43. PamMarch 19, 2009 at 2:11 AM

    you think she's bad? try maya from My Fitness Coach...she will totally kick your ass! lol and let me tell you, when she gets through w you and you run back to miss wii fit, you'll be the one owning that bitch haha :)

    ReplyDelete
  44. jerlynMarch 19, 2009 at 10:13 AM

    I stick to "Bob" on the Wii. He's not as mean. But I do take it
    personally when he tells me, "this
    isn't your forte, is it? Let him
    try balancing on one leg, with
    his arms up in the air, while 2 dogs jump at u.
    Hint=next time you travel, hook up on Wii internet, then you can get
    credit for your workout. Otherwise, you get no credit.
    or put her on mute!

    ReplyDelete
  45. PamMarch 19, 2009 at 7:01 PM

    decided to up my fitness coach workout from 15 to 30 mins. maya kicked my mother bleeping ass to next sunday lol

    ReplyDelete
  46. CaseyMarch 20, 2009 at 8:53 PM

    I've been taking a break from my Wii lately since he said some really unpleasant things. I'm so scared to go back.

    ReplyDelete
  47. JennersMarch 21, 2009 at 6:38 PM

    Oh that bitch! With her soothing voice and making my Mii all fat and blobby and reminding me I've stayed away for 169 days. Well, if you didn't insult me so much and spend so much time in between games and yakking and yakking, maybe I'd come back, Wii Fit Lady!

    And I totally LOVE the new header. Too funny.

    ReplyDelete

Come on, sailor. I love you long time.

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