Dumbass: The Blue Period

I wasn't always a SAHD, I used to be an acclaimed artist. Studied in Paris, the whole bit. Go ahead, click on that bad boy and drink it in, I'll wait.


$150,000 and it's yours. Well, you'll also have to pay for the wall to be replaced in my son's room.

Today was our second day of painting and I'm still only doing the prep work. That room has a lot of corners. Liam wanted to help out again so I stripped him down to his skivvies and gave him a brush. Then I told him for the hundredth time to stay away from the paint can. Then I stepped down off the foot stool and knocked a gallon of paint over. It's important to teach by example. Good thing I put a tarp down yesterday when I decided to let the kids help. Good thing that paint is thick enough that you can scoop it up and pour it back into the can. I think there's a bit of dirt in there from the tarp now, but whatever, it's not my room.

Anyway, it gave me an idea for a post today. A post and a contest. Don't ask how I got to the idea, because that was like ten hours ago and I didn't have a pen. Yes, I had a paint brush and paint, smart ass, you're disqualified now. So I have this big... mostly blank wall.


So here's the contest: Whatever you want on that wall (until I paint over it) and I post it here. Anything you want. Pimp your blog, my fabulous art, poem, whatever. Just keep in mind it only comes in one colour, and that is colour with a 'u.' American contestants will just have to adapt. A few of you are confused now, aren't you. HA! Admit it, your forehead got a little scrunchy as you tried to figure out what the hell I was talking about. It's ok, you looked cute.

Rules? Rules are for pansies. Contest is open to everyone, even you lurkers. Even Twitter friends, which means I should probably tweet it since they won't know about it. Don't know me? I don't care. Arch nemesis? Fair is fair. One of my two judges will pick a random number based on however many replies I get. Wait. One of my two judges will pick a number out of a hat since they're still working on their numbers. Contest closes whenever I decide it does. Same with the picture.

Now, I mentioned two contests. This one I just pulled out of my ass after stepping on a can of paint. (Complained recently of having nothing to write? I knocked over a can of paint. You always have something to write about!) Contest number two is the real deal. It's a giveaway! A real live company is giving me a gift coupon to give away to one of my readers. I KNOW! I couldn't believe it either, and just wait, it gets SO. MUCH. BETTER! Except you really do have to wait because I haven't written that post yet. I'm thinking Friday. Ish. No, I'm pretty sure Friday.

*So yesterday 'afterwards' wasn't a real word but today 'scrunchy' is? Seriously?