Courtesy of Keely at The Un-Mom, kinda like Spin Cycle, but not. (I've missed the last couple of Spin's because if I'm not motivated, if I don't have an idea right away, I'll never get it done. I've already apologized to Jen. She mentioned something about Sprite kicking my ass, but I'm not worried, I could totally take Sprite.) Unfamiliar with Random Tuesday Thoughts? It's kinda self explanatory. Here we go...
I was waiting for a call from my financial advisor today because he'd received my pension package from my old job and we needed to talk about what to do with it. I carefully explained to the boys that daddy was expecting a call and to please be quiet. I'm in the back room when the call comes in. Not two minutes later Liam runs in buck naked and squealing like pig. He thought that was quite funny.
That was just before lunch. And you know what lunch means around here. Surprise!
First grilled cheese man of the new year.
Supreme Leader just walked into the room rubbing her tummy. She started saying "pleasantly" which I finished off with "plump," 'cause that's the saying, right? So very very wrong. Apparently she meant to say "pleasantly warm," referring to the sensation in her stomach after sharing a bottle of Smirnoff Ice with me. Ice. There's the key word.
"Thinking of breaking my vegetarianism if only I could find some unicorn meat. I hear it's magically delicious!"
From Dave of Blogography who recently discovered that if you use Twitter, your tweets are "not only archived in several places, but show up in Google searches as well." Who knew?
A few months back I bought some plants for our aquarium, unfortunately we also got a snail along with them. Just one. Did you know snails can reproduce asexually? Forget rabbits. It's like a plague of locusts, only slower.
Saw a rerun of Bones the other day where they were boiling a head to clean the skull off and an eyeball floats to the surface. Sorry, you're not having breakfast, are you? Anyway, this leads me to thinking of an episode of Chuck last year where Sarah (Yvonne Strahovski) is fighting with... hold on...
Ahh, pig tails and gun, give me a moment. Ok. So she's fighting some other girl and in the middle of the fight sequence does a somersault revealing a thong-clad bottom. It played on the eastern networks, but once it had hit the Pacific NBC had edited it out. Dear God, America! You're going to have a new president this month, can we get over the right-wing 19th century view of nudity that's inflicted us for the last eight years? And I say 'we' because it's not just normal Americans who've suffered, think of your neighbours. Horrifically disgusting autopsy scenes are ok, but not Ms. Strahovski's backside? Ten years ago we were watching Denis Franz's naked hairy ass on NYPD Blue! It's time for a change.
Conversation with Connor before bed.
Connor: Daddy, what's a valley-um?
Me: A what?
Connor: A valley-um.
Me: Where did you hear that?
Connor: At school. Mrs. _____ said it.
(Just for you, Vodka Mom)
Wow. This so didn't work out the way I'd planned. Better to write a post in one shot rather than leaving the computer every five minutes to do something else. Well, if you made it to the end of this train wreck I'll give you your money back. What? You didn't pay? Sucker! I just ate two minutes of your day and it was delicious. *burp*
*Not mine. Stole it from Toll of the Hounds, Steven Erikson.
well i guess i know what I'M being for Halloween. better start learning how to cartwheel.
ReplyDeletelove me some Bones. great show. cool cheese-man. too tired. can't type. real sentences. going nite-nite.
ReplyDeletei liked random-ness. lost me for a bit. switching to chick's thongs. i finally caught. back up.
:)
Yay for teachers on Valley-um. I was getting ready to go to bed but now I'm afraid I'll dream of Denis and his naked hairy ass and wake up screaming. Thanks for the great mental image.
ReplyDeletesnail infestation huh?
ReplyDeletethat super sucks.
i shouldn't tell you that the only way we got rid of them was to move and empty the entire tank, should i?
good luck with that ...
So, what did Supreme Leader do to you after you made that horrible mistake??
ReplyDeleteSprite says that if you make her a grilled cheese man, she'll forgive you. Don't take on the Sprite, man. She fights dirty!
ReplyDeleteHooray for grilled cheese man!
ReplyDeleteHooray for thong-wearing superchicks doing somersaults!
Although I think I was looking down at that exact moment, darn it!
D. Dennis Franz's naked hairy ass
ReplyDeleteWhat? No test? Damn. I thought there was a test.
humph. figures.
I heart valley-um...it goes down so smoothly with vodka.
ReplyDeleteTweets show up in Google searches?? Oh...crap.
ReplyDeleteNever ever say plump around a woman. Unless...no not then either.
ReplyDeleteVally-um!! Love it!!!!
ReplyDeleteI swear, your posts freaking kill me.
Love the randomness.
ReplyDeleteVally-um is pretty funny, sorta, depends on if the teacher took one during the day....
Random Tuesday - cool! I'll just say reemwick frikcer ploork barweigh gaven crufriliocious swaberpoo blark blark.
ReplyDeleteI love random posts. You're are particularly funny.
ReplyDeleteValley-Um. It's a city in California. If it's not, it should be!
ReplyDeleteHAPPY TUESDAY!
- Jennifer
Really, snails are invading your aquarium? You can sell them on Craig's List and make a mint!
ReplyDelete*sigh* No one ever makes me a grilled cheese man.
I love randomness. : )
ReplyDeleteyou mean we didn't have to pay?? damn. i feel ripped off.. and a little stupid.
ReplyDeleteVodka Mom's got 'em all on valium, while she whoops it up with the vodka.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, I'm not gay but I would totally switch for Sarah from Chuck. Have you seen her speak in an interview? She sounds so funny with her Australian accent.
ReplyDeleteI made it through to the end and I dug the randomness that is your life. Squealing naked kids is just good comedy.
Aaaaaand that is why I live on the east coast. We cherish our hot naked ass on network TV, thankyouverymuch!
ReplyDeletePS- Her blouse is like, totally unbuttoned! (Um, I have a feeling you already noticed that.)
'Forget rabbits. It's like a plague of locusts, only slower.'
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAH! Nice.
Damn, you crack me up. Magically delish uni meat. MMMM. And Connor, me thinks you and Ms. ____ would get along peachily.
ReplyDeleteI like the randomness....I think we all can relate.
ReplyDeleteSo you're right, scenes of tortue
ReplyDeleteand every other kind of sick
crime is ok for the tube. But
Lord protect us from seeing a
naked body. I mean the body isn't really anything new, they've been around awhile. Up here in "snow
to our butt" valley, we need clothes. In summer it keeps us from sunburn, other than that they just hides lumps and bumps.
Dennis Leary, nah, no thanks.
Also, did you know it was against all natures laws for children to be loud when you are on the phone!
Keep the faith, spring will come and they can go outside for more than 10 minutes
m.
Random comment: have you noticed that you can't call one of those voice recognition numbers at the bank when there are kids at the house?
ReplyDeleteWatched Chuck on DVD so didn't miss out on the 'GOOD' Stuff.
ReplyDeleteBones, grilled Cheese and ponytails! I knew I liked you!
ReplyDeleteYAY! Grilled cheese is back baby!
ReplyDeleteI love random Tuesdays.
Valium? where?
ReplyDeleteShit, is he in my class?? IS HE?????
ReplyDeleteNo, that would have been VODKA.
I laughed out LOUD.
And thank GOD you served up a grilled cheese man- I was having a damn craving.........
mmmm...I'd eat me some grilled cheese man! BONES and CHUCK are my 2 favorite shows. HA!
ReplyDeletegood golly I love Yvonne Strahovski but I am restricted from saying so because "Lois" thinks she looks like an old girlfriend of mine... I'm luck even get to watch Chuck.
ReplyDeleteI would like to see some people in a new food please. like say popsicle carvings. Maybe bagel men? Are you taking requests?
ReplyDeleteThat was a fun post. Although now I can't remember anything except the valium part cause I can totally relate to that.
ReplyDeleteDoes that make me pathetic?
Oh no, this worked out just fine. Just fine, indeed.
ReplyDeleteI adore Liam. J would have done the same thing. I'm talking exactly the same thing. But he probably would have blurted out something about poop, or perhaps some profanity, just to really embarass me. Kids!
ReplyDeleteYou're fortunate SL didn't kill you on the spot for that error. :)
Pleasantly plump? Have you no sense of self-preservation?
ReplyDeleteSoooo...not all of us want to see a thong-clad woman's butt. Just an FYI.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I hope your wife thumped you for that comment and I don't mean in a sexual way. Just smacked you.
You would have deserved it. :-)