One hour ago while I was putting Connor to bed.
Connor: Why can't people talk to pod droids (Star Wars)?
Me: Um... droids don't speak English.
Liam (from his room): Daddy, my bum speaks English.
Half an hour ago.
Me: Why aren't you asleep, monkey?
Liam: Daddy. I want to sleep in your bed.
Me: No, hon, daddy's not going to bed yet.
Liam: I miss you so much when you go to work.
Me: Daddy hasn't gone to work in four months. Nice try.
Now the house is quiet. The boys are asleep and Supreme Leader is working late. Just me and my computer. Me, my computer and a bottle of Smirnoff Ice. Me, my computer, a vodka cooler and my cursor forever blinking...and? And? And? Fuck you, cursor.
I tweeted earlier today about having my 'mo' but not being able to find my 'jo' and the more I thought about that tonight the more it seems to fit my mood. I don't have writer's block or a lack of ideas lately, if anything I have too many. It's just getting them in here that seems to be the problem. I get ideas for stuff all day long. Ideas for posts, ideas for stories, content for stories I'm already writing. Sometimes I write them down and sometimes I don't. In general, my best ideas are the ones I don't write down and forget. How do I know they're my best ideas if I've forgotten them? Screw you, this is my whine.
Thank me. No, go ahead. I just saved you from the paragraph that isn't here anymore. It was terrible. Not in style or quality, but in length and woe. Tolstoy and Celine (not Dion) would have been proud. Sadly, it was so annoying I wanted to slap myself. Let's move on. Forget this happened.
This morning, after taking Connor to school, I ran upstairs to see what SL was doing. Then I noticed the bathroom and thought, take a shower now, while you have time. Then, since I do my best thinking in the shower, I started working out a conclusion to a story I'm writing about time travel. Then epiphany sucker punched me and I realized, if I could actually manipulate time, would I really try to go back and right wrongs, invest in Yahoo or eBay, freeze time and go hang out in the change room at la Senza (Victoria Secret)? Hell no! I'd freeze time and finally finish painting my bathroom. I'd vacuum. I'd work on a story. I'd read a book. I'd take a freakin' nap! Then I could snap it back on and spend some time with the kids that didn't feel like it was being scheduled.
Yes, I've got that out of my system now. Thanks. I'm going to go work on my story now. The one I said I was going to finish by Christmas. Whatever. Now that I'm getting close to done though I'm wondering what to do with it. Post it in the blog it's being written in? Use a Google document? Any ideas? And how does copyrighting work? Not that anyone would want to steal my mental manure, but still...
PS. Some decapitated head humour from my little sister.
Skateboarding on frozen sand
16 hours ago