Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Oh, The Weather Outside Is Frightful...

Tomorrow, or today... you know how it works, the Us & Them family is supposed to be heading off to the Republic of Dumbassistan to share Christmas with my family. We try to rotate one year here and one year there, but because of holiday schedules it's been two years since we've spend it up there. As I write this it is only the second official day of winter and we have already had three major snowstorms in the past two weeks. Guess what is forecast to start tonight?

The drive itself, from Richmond to Kamloops is not that bad most of the year.

View Larger Map

Unless it's winter. And snowing heavily. And freakin' cold. Here in the greater Vancouver area it does not snow very often, so when it does, everything goes to hell in a hand basket. Most people do not have experience driving in snow so they continue to drive like it's the middle of August and they are the only ones on the road. So first off we're facing a Mad Max/Escape From New York get away out of the city. Then it's out into the Fraser Valley which is strangely flat as the prairies. Winds out there can literally blow large trucks over and cause frequent white outs. If we manage to survive all that then we get to cross a fairly sizable mountain range. But is the fun over yet? Hell no! Because later on Christmas Day we are supposed to drive even farther north to where my mom lives. I just checked the temperature and it's a balmy -21 C(-5 F), which is warm compared to what they've had for the past few weeks. Our van doesn't have a block heater. (Dear friends from Florida, Mississippi, Arizona & Texas, at these temperatures your engine will freeze up. Block heaters keep your engine warm, for reals)

Am I whining? DAMN RIGHT I AM! I want to see my mommy! Shut up. Anyway, the trip is not looking good right now. We were worried about how the kids were going to take it, but the mountain of presents around the tree seems to be easing them through these troubled times.

On Sunday, Church Punk Mom tagged me with that 'take a picture of yourself RIGHT NOW' meme and even twittered me to tell me. Um, ya. I found it today as I was leaving the house. I only cheated by getting out of the house since I was supposed to be out there anyway and not checking email.

I know I'm supposed to be passing this on like most memes, but I'm not good at this part. And it's late.

Merry Christmas and happy rest of Chanukha.



    OK, second.

    Merry Christmas Eve!!

  2. Dude, SNOWMAGEDDON screws EVERYONE. Because of this snowpocalypse, I have NOTHING to open in the morning. That sound you hear? That's me seething.

  3. Your picture looks good! But, where are the rosy cheeks and visible breaths? And the children playing in the background? Dude, you're totally ruining my visions of snowy days.
    But thanks for explaining block heaters. I never would have known.
    Your Florida friend

  4. ::sigh:: After several dumpings of snow, they're now calling for RAIN here. Way to ruin the beautiful white snow and turn it into SLUSH and ICE. Ugh.
    Happy holidays!
    Drive safe!

  5. Oh my goodness... that is some crazy stuff you've got going on. Here's hoping you make it everywhere you need to go.
    Merry Christmas!

  6. Hope ya make it up there!! Have a great christmas.. and love the pic!

  7. Holy crap that's a lot of snow. I hope you get to make the trip, I've never had the pleasure/experience of being snowed in but it must suck to have to stay put when you have places to be. Send the snow my way.... do it!
    And you look good on the spot! I can tell you totally broke the rules and stopped to do some tweezing before snapping the picture.

  8. Merry Christmas and safe travels!

  9. Snow. Ha ha ha haaaa. Okay, I admit it - it actually got so cold last night that I closed my window.

  10. Good luck on your drive over the river and through the woods! I miss my mom too and am hoping the weather stays mild for her flight in on Saturday! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you! Maybe the whole global waring thing will kick in and we'll have sunny skies on Christmas?! ; )

    Merry Merry

  11. dude, i feel your pain.. but i already told you about that.. we may try to sneak over to my mom's this afternoon, but we risk being stuck there until Sunday or Monday (our family of 7, my brother's family of 4, and my parents).

    mother nature is a nasty little bitch.

    Meppy ChristmaHanukkwaanzakuh! and Happy Snowpocalypse.

  12. Safe travels to you..

    and Merry Christmas to you and your family.

  13. Merry Christmas :)

    I know about people panicking when they see a few snowflakes. Being from Ontario and then moving to Oklahoma, OMG they close schools for an inch of snow here!!!

  14. All the best for a happy holiday season, Cap'n and family! I hope you guys can make your trip, somehow. And I hope the snow leaves quickly.

    I knew a guy who moved up here from Vancouver. He arrived in summer. Once here, he bought a van, despite the seller's concerned statement that said van did not have heat. My friend scoffed, insisting that heat in a vehicle was optional. (True story.) It ain't optional up here!

    All the best!

  15. OMG! That trip sounds like a real adventure! Merry Christmas!

  16. All I know is that you better be safe!!! I'm headed on my way right now with my post - it is a heavy one but it includes before and after pics - very awesome!

  17. Captain:

    May I suggest a rooftop .50-caliber machine gun, with some side mounted rocket launchers,for your trip? They don't even have to be loaded; the very sight of them should keep idiots well clear of the Dumbassmobile.

    And is Dumbassistan anywhere near the People's Republic of Numbnardia?

    BTW, Kamloops would make a good hip-hop DJ name. I call dibs on it!

  18. Block heaters? Seriously?

    Merry Christmas from Chris in Arizona.

  19. Daaaaammmmn. That's some crappy weather you've got going on out there. Hope you're able to go and that you have a safe trip! Drive carefully!

  20. Thanks for the well wishes all. Trip is officially called off for the day.

  21. I love Vancouver, but Vancouver with snow! Agh!!

    Have an excellent Holidays to you and your gorgeous family!

  22. Next persn who wishes for a White Christmas is going to get slapped
    by Cpt. Dumbass' Mom.
    That's ok, being safe comes far ahead of anything else. We will
    save your Christmas Stockings for you. Can't believe that the winter
    couldn't hold off for a couple more days.
    Last time we had a blizzard like this was year I moved up to Hooterville. Same spring we were
    flooded, people were beginning to
    talk about me being a jinx. I didn't like that, they are just lucky I didn't put a hex on them.
    Don't fool with Mother Nature and
    don't fool with Momma Dumbass.

    Everyone have a safe Christmas,
    send lots of pics of kids opening their presents.

  23. Madam Captain Dumbass' Mom!

    I solemnly swear to NOT mention the you know what type Christmas! The last thing I need right now is a butt whuppin'.

    However, for you edification and delight may I point your ears and peepers to this:

    Merry Xmas!

  24. Merry Christmas to you and the Dumbass Clan!

    Drive safe... I'm keeping an eye on the Santa Tracker, you have a few hours left. ;)

  25. I've been to Vancouver. I loved it. I just thought I'd mention that... :)

    Merry Xmas Captain Dumbass! Have a good one wherever you are. Thanks for finding me on the blogosphere this's been fun. Here's to more of the same...

  26. I've done that drive. It suuuucccccccckkkkksss. Like, audibly.

    Merry merry!

  27. If you could send snow to Casey, Krystal, Jen and I tomorrow, I will buy you a block heater thingy!! for reals......
    um.... let me be clear, no you can not send snow in the mail, you have to send a snow storm up in the clouds.

  28. damned global warming...

    i was wondering if one needs some sort of passport and/or visa to get into dumbassistan...

    a merry and happy to you and yours

  29. Merry Christmas. You look sweet. Sucks that you can't make it to your mommy's house. I told her that you guys need to come down here next year.


Come on, sailor. I love you long time.