Liam: I AM NOT FULL OF POO!
Maybe not, kiddo, but your daddy sure is. (laugh track)
A little later...
Thump. Thump, crash!
Connor: What happened, daddy?
Me: I was running upstairs and my foot slipped off the step.
Connor: (looking behind his father who is sprawled across the stairs) But where is it?
Me: My foot? At the bottom of my leg.
Connor: But where is it?
Me: My foot slipped off the stair, honey, it didn't fall off.
Who's got nothing today? That would be me.
Socks from Marc Johns.